I was a physical player in HS. If I saw some bully-type push around my teammates I would target him and try to knock him on his ass. I feel if these bullies are not challenged with equal force then they will continue. So I was that guy that pushed back. I don't think I ever got a red card. A few yellows. And in HS I never got injured, ironically. Ironically, I tore my ACL late in life. No contact. I just planted my foot awkwardly. But yeah... maybe it depends on how much mass you have. I have some mass so I can usually body some guys. But my kid is on the small side... so maybe he should do the opposite... you know how some small guys basically will bounce off the bigger guys. Some smaller guys can absorb the nudges and tackles and as long as they can stay on their fee they can keep going with the ball.
Never been a problem for my son - he's pretty much always been one of the more aggressive players on the field (mostly clean). He's a bigger kid and very strong, so he doesn't get knocked over much these days. I will say, there is a way to teach physical play without playing dirty - the reason I say this is because I remember an old teammate of my son who was a timid sort of kid. His dad (who was a psycho) must have told him one night that he shouldn't get pushed around needed to be more physical, because one day, all of a sudden the kid just started playing hyper-aggressively. Problem was, it wasn't with any real skill - he would just grab and push other kids randomly and somewhat in a dirty manner. Not sure if he ever got any better - I've heard he's still playing, but I don't think he's very good.
My son has always been on the small side. He gets hacked, but just goes on, or draws the foul. His original club would bench kids for overly physical play. Best way to deal with a kid who's overly physical is to leave them in the dust.
My kid has to get pissed and then she'll go after who ever upset her. This winter however she did see her mates on ner 2nd team getting beat up during and indoor game. The opposing player had little skill just fast and physical. I put my daughter on her and told her to take her out of play. After three denials of service the opposing coach moved her to the other side of the field. By then however my kid had got in her head and she was done.
Tell your kid that if they are going to get someone back, don't look at other team's player before you do it. If the ref sees you eyeing up the other player from 10 yards away then it will be a definite yellow. Just look down or away while you blindside shoulder the kid into next week.
I'm from an era where players just played more dirty. In all sports- football, baseball, soccer, hockey, you name it. You heard about pros doing stuff. Even today they do a bit (like a football player trying to gouge a players eyes in a pileup), but it's harder to get away with stuff with all the cameras today. And I think we are just a gentler society today. Maybe that's a good thing. We care more about injuries today (eg concussions)... we aren't taught to "play through pain" like we used to. But back then it was kind of cool to play rough. A cut with some blood running down in the cold rain... manly stuff lol. Now games are called off in rain or wind or heat or snow or AQI above 130 lol
I'm a coach and a parent. Players should be able to deal with all sorts of problems on the field. One of these problems is how to deal with contact and challenges. Each player, regardless of size, needs to have a plan for how to deal with it that works for them. I don't expect the smallest kid on the field to overpower the biggest kid on the field, but there are plenty of tricks and techniques to use their power and weight against them. Figure out your strengths AND weaknesses, figure out theirs and exploit them.