Discussion in 'Politics & Current Events' started by ndp21f, Nov 29, 2004.
These should be placed in the front of your science textbooks.
WARNING: This product warps space and time in its vicinity.
CAUTION: This product attracts every other piece of matter in the Universe, including products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.
DANGER: The mass of this product contains the energy of 85 Million Tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of 500,000,000 miles per hour.
CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," it is impossible for the consumer to determine at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving, despite any manufacturer's claims to the contrary.
PUBLIC ADVISORY: There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process known as "Tunneling," this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the Universe, including your neighbor's Domicile. The manufacturer will not be held responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result.
EXTREME DANGER: THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT! Contact with antimatter in any form will result in a catastrophic explosion.
PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the Universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this will ultimately lead to the heat death of the Universe.
NOTE: The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a gluing force about which little is known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed.
(from Volume 36, Number 1 of The Journal of Irreproducible Results. Copyright 1991 Blackwell Scientific Publications Inc.)
I sent the Cobb Board of Education an email, explaining that they are dolts.
Unfortunately, about two weeks ago, I did a similar exercise with the AFA, and now they send me weekly action alerts, notifying me about the homosexual agenda. I wonder what these idiots will send me.
Probably the same thing.
Rep given. Scared my daughter with my burst-out laughter. Woke her up. Thanks alot.