Dilemma of a lifetime

Discussion in 'USA Men: Fans & Travel' started by brianasher, Jun 23, 2010.

  1. brianasher

    brianasher Member

    Sep 22, 2005
    KY
    Club:
    Sunderland AFC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I'll try to give the abridged version.



    2 people fall in love, and decide to get married. They set an arbitary wedding date in June in the middle of the day because who wants to go to a wedding when it isn't 100 degrees outside? By virute of knowing these folks since I wa a kid, I get the honor of being an usher in this wedding. Little did they know what they would really be doing to me.

    Meanwhile, I'm living my life as a bachelor and not bothering anyone else, just hanging out at BS and watching the USA kick the shit out of some Group C.

    After all the elation of winning the group, this cold reality sets in. The wedding not only would ruin an otherwise boring Saturday afternoon in June, it would destroy me.


    So the options are...

    1. Laptop in back row or lobby to watch on ESPN3 during the wedding.

    2. Get people seated and slip out the back door, head next door to the bar.

    3. DVR and try to avoid douchecanoes who will inevitably tell us the scores.

    4. Murder/suicide

    5. ??? Help please.
     
  2. sctrmd59

    sctrmd59 New Member

    Jul 13, 2004
    Maryville, TN
    Club:
    Los Angeles Galaxy
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    i pick 3....all you have to say is...it was a lovely wedding...and tell the bride she looked beautiful.
     
  3. PhillyQuakesFan

    PhillyQuakesFan New Member

    Jun 25, 2007
    Delaware County, PA
    Club:
    Philadelphia Union
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    The morning of the wedding, sit in your car or another similarly enclosed space and get as many friends as possible to blow vuvuzelas directly into your ear. People might tell you the score, but you won't be able to hear 'em.
     
  4. MNGalaxy

    MNGalaxy Member

    Jul 25, 2006
    Minneapolis
    Club:
    Los Angeles Galaxy
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    What time is the wedding and how long do you expect it to last?
     
  5. otkeeper

    otkeeper Member

    Jan 25, 2003
    LB,NJ,US
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    no way..its 2010..some drunk douche with a blackberry/iphone will give up the result before the entree comes out.
     
  6. otkeeper

    otkeeper Member

    Jan 25, 2003
    LB,NJ,US
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    another question is..how much do you like the girl? do you think they are going to last..cause if she is a c$#t there will be another wedding lol
     
  7. MetroMatt

    MetroMatt Member

    Sep 21, 2000
    New Jersey
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    You can't compare a wedding and the World Cup. One is a really, really important moment but the World Cup is forever. For-ever!

    This won't happen again for at least four years. 2014. At the earliest. Qualification is hardly a sure thing though so maybe 8 years. 2018. Maybe 12 years. 2012. How many times will your friends have been married by then?

    So blow off the wedding. You can always find new friends. There is only one USA and only one 2010 Round of 16 match.
     
  8. Kryptonite

    Kryptonite Guinness

    Apr 10, 1999
    Columbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    You're an usher. You tell people where to place their asses. If people can't figure out where to place their own damn asses, it's not your fault.

    OTOH, you could do both with the bar next door.
     
  9. MNGalaxy

    MNGalaxy Member

    Jul 25, 2006
    Minneapolis
    Club:
    Los Angeles Galaxy
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    ESPN Mobile?
     
  10. brianasher

    brianasher Member

    Sep 22, 2005
    KY
    Club:
    Sunderland AFC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    wedding starts at 2 (central) but i gotta be there at 11:30 for pictures. yes, 11:30, so there is no way i'd see any of the first half for sure. this situation couldn't be worse. well it could, i mean, i could have a disease or something, but you know what i mean.

    the problem is, my parents were best friends with this girls parents, so they would kill me if i tried to skip out somehow. im thinking of a way to delay the wedding. bomb threat at the church? water mane break? problem is, my parents know how much this means to my bro and i so they'd come to us first, lol.

    might just have to avoid the scores and DVR, and honestly if some idiot tells the score (inevitably it'd be someone who doesnt care about soccer but loves attention) I might fight them. and i would be justified, totally.
     
  11. JoseP

    JoseP Member

    Apr 11, 2002
    I'm in the same boat on Saturday (never mind this game should be played on Sunday.)

    This game will seem insignificant when the US is playing in the final. DVR it and watch in peace that evening. Enjoy the wedding.
     
  12. song219

    song219 BigSoccer Supporter

    Apr 5, 2004
    La Norte
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    Vanuatu
    A real friend wouldn't have done this to you.
     
  13. TMecki

    TMecki New Member

    May 17, 2005
    Bristol CT
    Seems like #3 is your best bet. With a little work and some help from the happy couple, you might even be able to keep the d-bags at bay.

    At the rehearsal dinner tonight, mention the unfortunate timing of the game and that there might be plenty of people (include yourself in the "plenty of people" if you want) who are going to be there, but might want to not know the outcome of the game. Then you ask the bride and groom if they'd be cool with putting a "Spoiler Alert" note in with the program. Just a slip of paper that mentions how they're thrilled you're all there, but that some people might not want to know the outcome of the game, so don't be a putz and spout off about it, please. Everybody knows rule #1 of weddings is don't piss off the bride, so if her name is on it that should snap everybody into line. Offer to print up the notes yourself... go to Kinkos if you have to. Since you're one of the ushers you can stuff em in the program too.

    Have them mention something to the DJ too, so he doesn't make some mention of it and plays "Living in America" or something to celebrate the win.

    This might not prevent everything from going wrong anyway -- another stoppage time goal might mean you're hearing the bar next door in the church anyway, but maybe you have a fighting chance. Good luck.
     
  14. celeste4life

    celeste4life Member

    Dec 16, 2007
    United States
    Club:
    CA Peñarol
    Nat'l Team:
    Uruguay
    And turn off your phone. You will get texts. I have tried to do this many times, and it hasn't worked. You find out the score some way or another, and even if you don't, if the other team scores first, you don't want to waste 2 hours so just find out the score anyways. Its what always happens to me. lol

    Good luck. I have a soccer game at the same time, but Im sick, so got lucky
     
  15. clevelandstoker

    Aug 12, 2004
    Youngstown, OH
    Club:
    Stoke City FC
    Do your usher duty and then duck out. Say you have a stomach ache or something. Do not try to explain yourself as it will detract from their "big day". Be very discreet about it.
     
  16. Old Man!

    Old Man! BigSoccer Supporter

    RIP Chicago Fire
    Mar 11, 2000
    ESPN Mobile for sure. You're an usher, once the ceremony starts, sit yourself in the back and enjoy the game. Just don't shout anything out when we score:)
     
  17. sctrmd59

    sctrmd59 New Member

    Jul 13, 2004
    Maryville, TN
    Club:
    Los Angeles Galaxy
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    damnit, I meant 2....yeah, you are exactly right....mi malo
     
  18. blue_wizard10

    blue_wizard10 New Member

    Mar 29, 2004
    Neverland
    Club:
    Hannover 96
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    DVR the Wedding...it's the freaking world cup!!!!!! :cool:
     
  19. njndirish

    njndirish Member

    Jul 14, 2008
    Notre Dame, IN
    Club:
    --other--
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    3 questions:

    1. Who is your carrier?
    2. What is your plan?
    3. What kind of phone?

    If you have an iPhone the are multiple apps for watching it
    I know a few AT&T phones have live coverage
    idk about the others
     
  20. MNGalaxy

    MNGalaxy Member

    Jul 25, 2006
    Minneapolis
    Club:
    Los Angeles Galaxy
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Well, how did it go?
     

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