No i don't want him to focus on soccer anymore. I said I'm giving up He can focus on whatever he wants
I have to accept that a kid is influence by his environment. By what's available in the setting he grows up in. some kids grow up in the favelas of Brazil. Some in the inner cities of France. Those kids inevitably will be playing a lot of "street soccer" They aren't playing baseball, or american football. Some kids grow up in the Dominican Republic and play "street baseball" with broomsticks and bottle caps. They are not going snowboarding on the weekends. Most American kids grow up and try a variety of sports. The parents organize it and drive the kids in a nice air conditioned SUV (or increasingly a Tesla). My kid has access to soccer, to baseball. To a bit of flag football. To a bit of basketball. To whatever the school offers. To video games. It is what it is. Originally I wanted my kid to play as much as [insert any country] kids. But that just drove me crazy trying to figure out how to make that happen. The setting isn't built for it to happen here. This is why the US National team will always be a step behind. Even given the vast resources we put into soccer as a country; we're still not as good as little Croatia. Anyways I have to accept the realities of this environment. If it is meant to be for him to play multiple sports, as is the case with most kids in this neighborhood, then I have to go with the flow instead of always feeling like i'm swimming up stream. thanks for coming to my Ted talk
The Fall will be the busiest season yet: We will attempt 1. club soccer 2. fall travel baseball 3. flag football with his school team Will this be possible? Its stressing me out thinking about it
If it's stressing you out just thinking about it, why are you stressing out your son who is actually playing?
where did you get that he's stressed out? he's not thinking about the Fall. He's not even thinking past this weekend.
I see "giving up" lasted around 50 hours. SMH "Possible"? Sure, in that you can possibly do it. But I wouldn't expect a great season in any sport.
I gave up. My original plan was club soccer. I'm giving in to other sports. Something will have to give. You're right.
Here's what you said... You don't want him to focus on soccer, but you're "giving in" to other sports? Three sports in a season is NOT a good idea. Two sports is iffy. How exactly do you see this all working out? Between practices and games (even if the FB is just during the week) for three sports, you will be missing a lot.
I am giving up on him being a 100% soccer player. A lot of kids are 100% soccer. Across the world. In order to compete I thought you have to be 100% soccer. But I have to give up that idea. It is what it is. He is not 100% soccer. He is multi-sport. Not sure how it will work out. That's why I'm stressed lol But his mom wants him to try out for travel baseball. Spring baseball is not even finished and the fall ball tryout is today. And she and he want to tryout for the school football team because it will be his last year at the school (as a 6th grader). So I guess he'll just have to day maybe 2 days of football, 2 days of soccer, and 1 day of baseball during the week. And then games on the weekend.
I don't know. The mom has a say, and I'm increasingly wanting to not butt heads with her, the older I get.
I don't even think this is true, at least not until your son goes through puberty and starts to develop his technical ability (in whatever sport) with his adult body. Very very rarely is the best U12 player in any sport the best U17 player....and the best U17 player is very rarely the best U20 player...and then the best professional players can come from anywhere (Tom Brady, Josh Allen, etc.). Sure there are some exceptions, like Messi, but I think he's an exception to the rule. Some of the US's best Olympian swimmers and runners come from an aerobic team-sport background. For example, Grant Fisher (bronze medals in the track 10K and 5K last Olympics) was a really good soccer player until he realized in high school that he was an elite-level runner (https://www.freep.com/story/sports/...lympics-bronze-paris-2024-soccer/74835643007/). Tons of NFL players were really good in other sports before they decided to commit to football. Athleticism is athleticism, and a lot of sports have transferable skills up and until you're starting to compete with the top 10-20% of athletes at the highest levels...where sport-specific technical ability then becomes required. Once you're getting to that level of ability, most of your son's remaining improvements will come from deep training--which is only going to happen if your son has the intrinsic motivation necessary to make those improvements. Wayne Gretzky said something like "nobody told me to go practice by my own in my backyard. I just did it." @George8 recommended The Talent Code by Dan Coyle, I'll echo that and recommend it again. I think it will really help your perspective in helping your son develop into the human and athlete you'd like him to be. But based on that book, you want your son at 11, at 12, to develop athleticism in multiple aspects (sprinting, jumping, coordination, agility, stamina, etc.), resilience, determination, coachability, and you crucially want them to develop myelin. Having them play baseball and soccer is probably a good thing. It allows them to build all of the skills above, and it more crucially allows him to better decide what he truly has passion for, and what he doesn't. Then, once he's 13, 14, 15, and maturing physically, he'll be in the best position to put in the deep work and the deep training necessary for the technical success in the sport he wants to play. FWIW, I enjoy reading your threads because you very clearly want the best for your son. I think that's admirable. From my perspective, I think your son is at an age where he will benefit from playing both baseball and soccer...and then later deciding what he wants to do once he's a bit older.
We are really leaning into multi-sport. Cramming it in while we can I guess. This fall he is doing 3 sports - soccer, baseball, and flag football with his elementary school. Fortunately the baseball club is flexible an And the flag football practice is right after school, so it works out. All 3 are competitive. They all had tryouts. I know, and fear, that my son's soccer technical skills might wane due to allocating more time to other sports. But I am hoping that in the long run he'll be fine. He's only 11. 6th grade. I feel let him maximize fun. It will only get more serious in the future. A lot of kids are specializing at this age, especially in soccer. I admit it does hurt to see kids who are my son's peers in soccer take steps forward due to their 100% commitment to the sport. But I have to try and keep a long term perspective. He will continue to do private soccer trainings too to keep his skills. I hope that the cross training he gets in baseball and football will help create a good athletic foundation, which will be fruitful in soccer as well. I hope it creates advanced core strength, agility, and confident use of a wide variety of motor skills. I hope it develops his confidence and competitive mindset. Hopefully he becomes more resilient physically. I already see some kids getting overuse injuries in both soccer and baseball. I imagine that some kids who are specializing now, will end up quitting due to burnout or injuries. Or due to excessive parental pressure. I imagine some of these parents pressuring their kid emotionally to make the national team and the pro academies (via ID camps and stuff). I think that's par for the course at some point in the teen years, but when is ideal, not sure. 11 years old I feel is quite early for such mental pressures. But some kids can handle it I assume.
Thanks for this! You have a good and knowledgable perspective. I wish that more coaches (and adults generally) had a similar perspective and thought more about this topic. Today I am learning a bit more about the Talent Code.
Steve Nash on his love for soccer. A great listen for any parent with kids in various sports. Very intersting point - Nash didn't start playing basketball until age 13!
My boy is playing both rec and comp soccer now. Signed him up for rec for a couple reasons - one is that he could play with a friend. the other reason is that, since we were leaving the club, wasn't sure if we'd find another club in the fall (since this was post-tryouts)... so I signed up for rec as a fallback. But then we found a new club. So he's doing both. At first I though it was a waste of time since the level is so low. But now I think its not a waste of time. 1) its fun. 2) it gives him a chance to work on moves that he's too timid to try in a high pressure game. He's done like 5 different moves in rec games that he's not confident yet enough to do in his club games. So this is a good stepping stone for certain skills.
yes mr Sam that is correct. kind of unfortunate i guess. it is only temporary rec soccer was the fallback. flag football is because its last year of elementary school.
Flag Football is over; thank goodness. Rec soccer and baseball will be done in a few weeks. But then he'll pickup indoor soccer and snowboarding in the winter. But now can add in private soccer trainings now that football is over. Need to dial up soccer skills training.
Baseball and football done. Last rec soccer game this Sat. Then only club soccer. Already signed my kid up for some trainings in Nov, because I feel he's fallen behind just a bit on technical skills. What a hamster wheel sports are.
I think certain sports benefit more from multi-sport approach than others. For example, in the US traditionally it was common for kids to play football (in the fall), basketball (winter), baseball (spring). Or substitute one of those for golf, wrestling, tennis, track and field. You get the idea. A lot of football players would do track in the Spring basically as a way to stay in shape for football. So that works together. Football/basketball/baseball are all hand-eye coordination sports, so essentially you're getting some really good benefit from one to the others, in terms of neuro-muscular development. Soccer is a different animal since its a foot-eye sport. Its kind of out there on its own. Its also just inherently less organic to control an object with your feet than with your hands, so it takes more time to master. Our hands are designed to control/hold things. Our feet are not. But to your point, I do think there are myriad benefits to playing at least one other sport. A mental break. A physical break. Team dynamics with a new set of kids. Working on different muscles. Etc. There are some things that directly would translate over; for ex, reading the path of a ball traveling in the air 100+ feet (baseball) definitely helps with soccer, esp as the field expands and the passes become longer. Also, as you allude to, ultimately we don't know what a kid will want to pursue in the long-term. So if you force him/her into one sport early on you are eliminating other sports that the kid might have actually thrived in more. Thanks AlextheRef for your comments; always insightful.