I'm feeling like giving up. The winds are not moving in my direction. I can't put so much time and money and energy into soccer if everyone else isn't on board. The mom pushes baseball and other activities. I have to accept it. She doesn't even go to the soccer games to cheer him on. I feel I am in a phase of capitulation. Capitulating to the reality of the situation. If a kid is multi-sports, as many are, then its very hard to be at the top of a soccer club and maintain that. Each year the coaches will only expect more commitment. So something will have to give. Can my kid do all-stars baseball and also play club soccer? Maybe he'll have to switch to rec soccer. I used to hate that thought, but now I'm fine with it honestly. I just have to give in to reality.
How old is your child? Unless approaching later years of high school and devoted to playing in college, or your player is at an MLS Pro Academy there is some pretty compelling data out there that supports competitive multi-sports (or any intense activity)....read the Talent Code by Dan Coyle....eye opening evidence that regardless of soccer, baseball, chess, musical instrument, you are strengthening the same neurological bonds (myelin) that build winners. Playing soccer will help his/her baseball and visa versa. If you can logistically make it work and your child wants to do both I would support his/her path. Find a soccer club and baseball club that supports this and make sure your child has input.
Thanks for the comment. It is very common indeed in America to be multi-sport and I agree there are benefits. But in soccer, you have clubs and acadmies that start to get increasingly competitive with each year and if you want to be on the A team then you simply won't have much time for other sports unless you're doing them recreationally. My kid is wrapping up U11, and will tryout for U12 next week. He has played on the A team at a competitive club for 4 years. Sure he was very young. But at U12 the A team is called "pre MLS Next"... which is a clue into increasing competitiveness and the aspriations of some of these kids. It will be hard to keep pace with kids who's families are fully devoted to soccer. Though sure, my kid might excel in "athleticism" because he's doing various sports, he will fall behind in technique. I just have to go with the flow right?
Shay can you offer advice on this matter, soccer tryouts are next week and all-star selections are this month too.
IMO, yes. You can be moderately high-level in 2 with understanding coaches, but they will each take something from the other which prevents you from reaching the highest level in either. Kids/families on my son's team have started to make these decisions (some last year and maybe some this coming fall). I think you and his mom need to have a discussion where you agree that you'll lay out the options for him (all baseball, all soccer or both, but having to compromise some of each) and then let him decide what he wants to do. Edit: From my experience, you'll get a small number that decide before U11, more at U12, and then kids that are really good at both may try to do both for the U12 year and decide going into U13 when the competitive level ramps up going to 11v11...
thanks. At what age do you start to make those decisions? Thanks, this answers my above question. Maybe he just becomes the typical American multi-sport kid. His mom recently was thinking of getting him into tennis because someone said he's "a natural" when they were at the courts. And he's gonna play flag football with this school in the fall (next year at 6th grade). My original plan was to go all-in on soccer but the entire ecosystem around me is not setup for it. I feel to go all-in on soccer requires an environment that is efficient and affordable and supportive of it, which is hard to find in America. In a lot of countries the kids play soccer in the street on their own, so its basically free and readily accessible in the early ages. I can't compete with that. I was playing soccer last night against a guy; he was great; I said wow you must have played a lot of futsal (because he had great ball control, was very confident, creative, aggressive) he said he was from Colombia and they just grow up playing like that. Americans do not grow up playing like that unfortunately. In a global marketplace, our kids cannot quite compete at the top levels. So then there is a nudge in society to go more towards the typical American sports of football, baseball, basketball, wrestling, tennis, track and field... essentially the sports where the kid can play in high school and if they are good then play in college and then still have 4 years to develop there and then who knows from there. But in soccer its just a very different dynamic.
To be fair, this is an American conversation. No one questions internationals who specialize at X-age. No one studies it really either. The American studies typically revolve around those that are already “elite” athletes in whichever sport they are (or have participated). Take LeBron for example, he ended up specializing in basketball when he was in discussion to be Ohio’s Mr. Football as well — which he probably would have made an NFL roster if he chose it. Maybe .001% or less of aspiring pro athletes can put themselves in his shoes. There are so many kids (and parents) in the US that think they need to participate in everything to be more “well-rounded” or “athletic.” But, that’s not true. People need to be good/great in certain things instead of mediocre in several. To me, the biggest issue is how we’ve made US sports. There’s hardly any “recreational” play where a terrific soccer player (as an example) can still enjoy playing semi-competitive or even decently competitive basketball (as an example) and still enjoy their childhood. Basketball (in this instance) ends up being less-than/stellar and a miserable experience because it’s too rec. Kids have a hard time talking and walking at the same time. Lack of desire to even run. Insert whatever makes it “rec” where it’s still a semi-doable situation. Just taking my own life into this scenario, I should have specialized earlier. I would have been a much better soccer player had I foregone basketball and baseball. I did them because I enjoyed time with my friends AND I didn’t know any better. I still ended up playing college soccer for four years and have had a fun coaching career. But, if I were to do it over again, I would specialize earlier.
I don't know what to do. The mom is applying him for all-stars. But they don't reveal their selections until June 2. Meanwhile soccer tryouts are next week. May 12-15. I should probably give the soccer coach a heads up, right? Do we just not sign up for soccer initially and hope to get in there later? Re Ponchat's note, I think its fine to specialize in soccer early. Also its probably fine not to if ambitions are not high. But if ambitions high then you'll have better luck if you specialize early. But its not up to me. Its up to baby mama. And she likes baseball. She's not anti-soccer; she's just ambivalent about it. My kid likes soccer more, but he does like baseball. Maybe if he makes all-stars, he can just train with the club, and play games on weekends with rec team. The club does have a deal for kids who only train during week. Its a little cheaper. Maybe this is the beginning of the end of his soccer career. idk
Maybe he can train soccer with older age groups after All-stars practice The old soccer groups train 8-9:30. But I don't know if he will be too small. It would be 11 year old training with 15 year olds. But its just for a few weeks. No school in summer, so he can train late good idea to propose?
In all of these questions that you've posted over the years, you never say what your son wants to do. OK, maybe if we drag it out of you. Other than that, you keep leaving that factoid out. So again, I'll say, what does your son want to do? There is a WIDE range of competition between "Top 'pre-MLS Next' team" and "Rec Soccer". In fact, I bet you the club he's trying out for has some lower level teams without as much commitment. Tell your son, in front of your wife, "If you want to play on this 'Pre-MLS Next' team, you won't be able to play baseball All-Stars. We can have you try out for a different team that could allow you do both. Or you can just do baseball." LET. HIM. CHOOSE. Not being on the top team at the top club doesn't mean anything is wrong or you (or he) have failed. And yes, where you are matters. If you're in a smaller area, it's easier to be a multi-sport standout.
dude i literally said above "My kid likes soccer more, but he does like baseball." translation: its up to him. he likes both so he does both. but he's still too young to understand the variables at play. he doesn't need to be concerned with what coach feels about multi sports and all stars and etc. He is just a kid. The options are: if make All-Stars, then practice with older group later in evening during all-stars or take a break from soccer until all-stars is over. then after its over, come back as training player during week and play rec games on weekend play on a lower level team - I hate this idea, but honestly it would depend on who the coach is on said lower level team. but i'd rather him play rec soccer than go to lower team. yes rec will be too easy for him perhaps, but he'll have fun, probably will play with some school friends, and get to "ball out" as they say. so it will still be good reps.
My 2 cents: I doubt a U15 coach is going to want a U12 kid at practice. I also doubt teams are going to want a practice only player that doesn't play games (unless they just want to take your money).
What if its just for 2.5 weeks? Our club has what they call "Training Players". These players only train. But I have no idea if the club would be ok with this for my son. Its just an idea
Here's where I think you're wrong. First, he doesn't need to "understand the variables". He needs to know "if you choose the top soccer team, you can't do all stars." Or, "If you want to do all stars, you can't be on the top team." So again, you're making about what YOU want. Iron sharpens iron. If he wants to be competitive, let him stay competitive. If he wants to play with school friends, do that. You (general) want to/should teach kids they can make tough choices, and they may not make the "right" one. Another thing to consider is when is all star baseball vs when the next club soccer season? Around here, the "end" of the club season is generally around Memorial Day/1st week in June. State Cup & President's Cup winners play until the end of June. The first half of July is "off", then training starts up. Does all stars fit into your break?
ok we will take your direction. i don't know if it would be worth to pay fees for lower team coach. but it depends on the coach. i think just as productive to do rec soccer. All-stars decides on the roster on June 2. They they start to practice and play until mid-July. Soccer tryouts are May 12-15. I think they start to practice maybe the following one or two weeks.
Beyond what others have said about this being your son's choice, I won't offer much advice, just some observations based on experience with my kids. Your son has indeed hit the age, as others have mentioned, where kids do start to either pick one to focus on or decide they'd rather play more than one sport and (unless they're a really exceptional athlete) accept that they'll probably be a bit lesser player at whatever they're playing, whether that's playing in school, in clubs, ... The kids who choose one sport will, more or less always, have an edge. I can think of a couple of kids who stopped club soccer after (I think) the 8th grade, were good athletes, but wanted to do more than one sport. Both were decent players on a good high school team. One never started because he lacked the soccer brain and ability to play quickly on and off the ball that the club players kept developing after he stopped. The other was a starter (mostly) for a couple of years and was genuinely a solid player, but similarly, the soccer IQ/speed of play was lower than his club-playing teammates. On a decent-to-good club team, he'd have been lost. There was one player on my son's high school team who also played basketball, and that was his top sport (played travel hoops). But he was not terrific at soccer, played off the bench once he was elevated to varsity (good athlete, but that soccer IQ, again, just wasn't there). He was a better basketball player, though I think he fell short of the college dream he and his family were chasing. Baseball, at least at my son's high school, was even more harsh. He stopped at about 11 for fulltime soccer. His friends who kept playing baseball all did year-round travel ball and, by high school, travel kids were the varsity, period. No exceptions I'm aware of over four years on a team that, granted, competed for state titles (the area schools with lower ceilings may not have been all travel kids; I'm not sure). The JV was mostly non-travel kids. I had conversations with a couple of parents of the latter and it was frustrating for them and their kids, but it was reality. As someone else mentioned about rec soccer, in our experience, it was really bad by the time kids were past about age 10 -- bad enough that decent players we knew found it frustrating and lost interest. It's the reason my youngest started playing club ball at age 10 -- that divide was already starting. It could be different elsewhere, but here it was stark.
I would definitely double check this. I'm not sure what the leagues are, but doing a quick google search shows me SOCAL U12 Pre-NPL league's first games last year were in September. I doubt they start practice the beginning of June. https://system.gotsport.com/org_event/events/33123/schedules?date=All&group=298629 Again, I don't know the leagues/tournaments, so you might be right, but I wouldn't assume. You might be stressing over nothing.
The other thing I thought about is how do you know already what days/times a given team will practice? You say he can train with the older soccer team after baseball training, but how do you already know the times would work for that?
We've been there 4 years. Its the same routine every year. Tryouts mid-may. There might be some casual games before the league starts. But yeah the league usually starts in Aug, sometimes Sept.
I'm basing it on the current schedule, but yeah it might change, so we'll have to see. But usually the younger teams practice earlier and the older teams later under the lights. I guess another option is too look at other clubs. I haven't given this serious consideration since my kid likes his club.
I think it starts one or two weeks after tryouts. There is a break I think the last week of June and first week of July. So 2 weeks of no practice and that's good if playing baseball.
So the options are: - go to lower team - rec soccer - other club Or withdraw from All-Stars consideration and not worry about any of this? @sam_gordon I will try talk to the soccer coach tonight, with my kid, so we are on the same page. Then my kid can decide.
It seems strange to me to practice for two weeks then give two weeks off (if tryouts are now, and training starts in two weeks, that's the beginning of June to start, then last week of June off). But it's said California does crazy things.