Is it true that, following the Notre Dame football team's tradition where each player touches the "Play Like a Champion Today" sign before heading to the field, the Crew players touch a "Play Like a Chump Today" sign as they exit the locker room? With this year's attendance through eight home league matches down approximately 4% from the same point last season, are you hoping to quickly add capacity in hopes that a 15-year-old substitute can pull enough ticket-buyers to at least match last season's attendance figure? Do you also tire of reading the same comments from the players after almost every match, thus implying things are not changing for the better? When conducting performance reviews at season's end, are those players who perform above average docked pay, as eight-plus seasons of mediocrity can't purely be accidental, right?
This just in from the Crew Front Office: In response to your four (4) queries we have the following repsonses. 1) We got that sign for half price. 2) If attendance is up we we send Robert Warzycha to Ghana to scout 15 year olds to secure with an allocation. At that point we will add a number of luxury boxes. 3) We just look at the pictures. 4) What is a "performance review"?
I think we should sign Heather Mitts. WUSA is dead so she needs a job. It would be good publicity for the club. It would bring teenagers and 20 somethings back to Crew games. And they could add her to the Crewzer calendar, which I've heard is in need of a girl like Heather Mitts. Not to mention, she could surely beat out Eric Denton for the starting left wing spot.
Nah, isn't there some over the hill female Chinese defender who could come in and kick some shins for us on the downside of her career for a few bucks? That's more in keeping with our style.