Damallsvenskan 2009 (r)

Discussion in 'Women's Rivalry Forum' started by jocasta, Mar 26, 2009.

  1. jocasta

    jocasta Member+

    Oct 11, 2003
    Nat'l Team:
    Sweden
    Still belonging to last season, an offering in settlement of one of the Hammarby v. Djurgården bets.

    "Vickan takes a quick kick: A ballad of BS sung honoring her part in Sweden's 2003 WWC semifinal victory versus Canada"

    The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Swedish team that day:
    The score stood null to one, with only minutes left to play.
    And then when Ljungberg missed a shot, and Sjöström did the same,
    A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.

    I almost turned my TV off, but thought then that I'd best
    Cling to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
    I thought, if only somebody could get in there quite close
    They'd have a chance to keep those wily Canucks on their toes.

    Andersson had just come off, and Kicki B. as well,
    Then Sjögran took a shot and missed, as then did Hanna L.
    We Sweden fans despaired that we would ever see the cup
    For there seemed but little chance that they would score and tie it up.

    Then Hooper fouled Ljungberg, to the wonderment of all,
    And the referee in wisdom let our Vickan keep the ball;
    And in that perfect moment, just right when the whistle blew
    There ran Malin Moström, shrieking for a pass straight through

    Our Vickan put the ball right down, and sent a lovely pass
    That caught each lazy defender with thumb jammed up her ass
    It passed the cagey Nonen, and it passed the stalwart Hoop
    As Moström, mighty midfielder, upon the ball did swoop

    She took the time to aim her shot, and lined it up with care
    The Nike-pleather-covered sphere went curving through the air
    She went near-post on Swiatek, a most unpleasant route
    "Have that for thine instruction, hosers!" I was heard to shout.

    The Canadians protested that the ball was early kicked
    And should have gone back ten whole yards, the spot the ref had picked
    But—too late! the goal was scored! Vickan had led the way
    To win that semifinal, for them to fight another day

    I greatly value skillful kicks, but even more the mind
    That sees an opportunity and don't leave it behind
    And so it is always for me that Vickan's piece de resist-
    Ance came not from a goal of hers, but off of an assist.



    —it says here that the original author, who disavowed responsibility for the poem, was quite bad at reciting it and "gave this cry of mass animal rage all the emphasis of a caterpillar wearing rubbers crawling on a velvet carpet."
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. Jenson

    Jenson Member

    Mar 2, 2005
    Bravo.

    "There ran Malin Moström, shrieking for a pass straight through"
    - almost gave me goose bumps.

    I love it Joc but route and shout don't rhyme.
    Not without making me do a twisty face and a shiver a little.

    And the thought of any type of 'hope' being connected with human breasts is a bit disturbing too.
     
  3. Micol

    Micol Member+

    Sep 16, 2008
    Be assured of my eternal gratefulness for this information. Uncertainty over this very question has caused me many sleepless nights.
     
  4. Smulan

    Smulan Member

    Apr 3, 2008
    So which animal's lady parts do you think the current St. Louis Athletica goalie has appropriated?
     
  5. Jenson

    Jenson Member

    Mar 2, 2005
    I knew someone - might as well be you - would pick up on it. I was meaning human breasts, other than their own. And she isn't our only hope.
     
  6. Smulan

    Smulan Member

    Apr 3, 2008
    Tell the truth - you hoped someone would pick up on it.

    (What's a small "boom boom"? Is it just a "boom"?)
     
  7. kool-aide

    kool-aide Member+

    Feb 1, 2002
    a van by the river
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    They do so rhyme. :p at least, they rhyme when said with a southern accent.

    I personally liked "The Nike-pleather-covered sphere" bit....
     
  8. Jenson

    Jenson Member

    Mar 2, 2005

    Route = R-ooo-t
    Shout = Sh-ow-t
     
  9. kool-aide

    kool-aide Member+

    Feb 1, 2002
    a van by the river
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Not in my neck of the woods. Here we say the "oute" in route the same way we say the word that is the opposite of "in." I know there are places that like to make the 'oooo' sound when saying route. I just don't live in those places :) Here, R-ooo-t is either part of a plant or means "to dig around."
     
  10. Jenson

    Jenson Member

    Mar 2, 2005
    I know but I have my fingers in my ears, making soooooothing 'ooo ooo ooo' noises, pretending that people don't do that thing what you are saying they do (but in my head they don't).
     
  11. Bonnie Lass

    Bonnie Lass Moderator
    Staff Member

    Lyon
    Norway
    Oct 20, 2000
    Up top
    Club:
    Olympique Lyonnais
    Wait ... so how do you pronounce rout?

    (Not route.)
     
  12. jocasta

    jocasta Member+

    Oct 11, 2003
    Nat'l Team:
    Sweden
    My foots are flowing, my roots are showing.

    One just never knows what will set people off. But it is perfectly legitimate to rhyme both rout and route with shout.
     

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