We've all got crazy theories cooked up. What will happen with Higuain? Who will we lose in the expansion draft? Will #MixOneFour actually happen? Will Wil will his way to Europe? Let's hear some crazy theories! First one to post a relatively-specific longshot that actually comes to fruition wins 3 cases of virtual high-fives. Here's one to get us started: Dillybar Duka posted that he was in CBus yesterday. The obvious explanation is that he loved our fair city more than anywhere else in the world, but had run from Bobbyball (the rifle had a doghouse-sized hit on him). Now that Bobby's been swapped for all-time player favorite Greggyboy Berlinhatter, Dill pickle wants back in. Bundle that with the fact that longtime Impact playmaker Marco Polo Di Vaio is retired AND the fact that the Impact has a newfound love affair with Argentinians (Piatta + whichever CM they're scouting down there right now) and I think it's clear. GB, fearing more injuries and internal strife, trades Higuain, the Crew's first pick, and allocation cash for Duka and the Impact's 3rd-overall pick. The Crew then uses the pick on speedy-although-undersized-and-probably-a-reach-at-3rd-overall forward C. Nortey
It was nothing that big. He simply missed the fine, Meigs County "herbals" and returned to "partake" with Frankie and both Ubusuku Abukusumo and Kyle Martino who were also visiting.
I have a USMNT theory. Klinsmann is trying to get fired so he can coach Tottenham. He will continue doing whatever he wants while losing and put the blame solely on MLS. Still he departs with a fat chunk of change. Kreis is coach in 2018. USA wins in Russia. Trapp wins golden ball. Gall Wins golden boot.
USSF has like, a lot, of money, right? Klinsy wants to “fix” our system, well, time to put the Fed’s money where his mouth is. USSF buys out both NASL and USL-PRO. They offer to reimburse each owner for total losses or whatever can be agreed on. Set up a division 2 and division 3 league owned and run by USSF. All MLS teams field a team in this 2 tier league system and there is PRO/REL within those 2 lower divisions. The USSF collects a league fee similar to how rec soccer works. Pay the yearly (or maybe triennially) fee and you’re in the league. The USSF covers officials, keeps all national broadcast rights, pays insurance for all players, etc. from their own pocket and using the collected fees. Create a system plucking the best ideas from minor league baseball and hockey and the NBA D-League with a little bit of world soccer sprinkled in. I’d love to see, if labor law type stuff is satisfied, the 2 tiers to have a very hard wage structure. The spots on a tier 3 team can only be filled by 16-22 year olds and pays fixed amount or something like that with the amount being enough to live on plus some sort of college scholarship option. Encourage talented kids to give pro-soccer a try, but a safety net for those that can’t make the next level. Exceptions for higher level pay being MLS players rehabbing, etc. Tier 2 players aged 16-25, paying a bit more, etc. The goal being to encourage player development, give games to the younger players, especially those on the end of MLS rosters now, silence or at least quiet those yelling for PRO/REL in MLS (something I am very much against and even if I were for it, don’t think the owners would ever be so foolish as to introduce it). It also gives the USSF something that other federations have around the world, control over the leagues they sanction. TLDR: USSF/SUM/MLS buy up lower divisions, make minor league system with pro-rel in vein of minor league baseball and NBA-D league, we win world cup in 2026.
That would suck. I think the Crew still hold Gaven's MLS rights though so we could get something out of it.
Maybe. http://pressbox.mlssoccer.com/content/2014-expansion-draft-rules If a player retires, he will not be a part of the club’s roster, but his club will lose its right of first refusal to him should he ultimately decide to play.
I believe Gaven was under contract with the Crew for 2014 when he retired. If so, his contract will toll and if he unretires, he'd once again be signed with the Crew. If he was out of contract and the Crew didn't make a qualifying offer, he could become a free agent. But I'm pretty sure MLS wouldn't allow someone to become a free agent simply by retiring, then unretiring.
Frankie, GGG & Wolf unretire and lead Crew to US Open Cup title as player/coaches (not enought left in tank for a full season). Throw in McBride for extra not a chance in hell of happening juice.
There will be a terrible plane crash. Inexplicably, several former Columbus Crew players will be on the plane when it goes down. With body parts all over the place, doctors will try to match the body parts as best as they can. In the chaos, the right foot of Emmanuel Ekpo, left foot of Andres Mendoza, thighs of Emilio Renteria, heart and torso of Eddie Gaven, and the titanium enforced head of Brian McBride will be crafted together to form a soccer Frankenstein. After signing with Columbus Crew SC and beginning the season on a torrid scoring pace, Emmanilio McGavendoza will be encouraged by Jurgen Klinsmann to go and ply his trade in Europe. During a face-to-face meeting, Emmanilio will devour Jurgen, declare that 'there can only be one', and take the helm of the USMNT, eventually leading them to a World Cup victory in 2018.
when Kentucky ran out of money one week they hired Brad Friedel with an ax handle to replace the entire state police force. there was no crime.
Higuaín left unprotected in the expansion draft. Gregg (extra g for GLORY) uses the new t.v.cash and some of AP's to bring in 3 $2M/yr (prorated salary and transfer for normal 2/1 contract) DP level players. ???? Cup!
Precourt not only convinces Time Warner into buying the naming rights to CCSCS (formerly known as CCS), he also gets a clause which removes the blackout restrictions from the existing television deal so that more local fans can enjoy the team on their TVs. Flush with money from the stadium sponsorship, Gregg & Frederico use their European connections to engineer acquiring Real Madrid's loan of ManU's striker Javier Chicharito Hernandez. Originally viewed in soccer circles as an impossible "get" by the MLS club, it is later revealed that the move was heavily supported by the FMF in the hopes that he can discover a way to negate the Dos y Cero Curse while playing for the team.