Who has the coolest or funniest name in soccer? I personally get a HUGE kick out of saying Gabriel Batistuta. It just rolls off the tongue so well.
Wolfgang Wolf, former manager of Wolfsburg in the Bundesliga. Former Crystal Palace players Doudou and Shittu. Can't remember which one of them wore the number two shirt, though. And Argel F.... (rhymes with tux, spelled like tucks), who once went to Benfica, leading to the best soccernet headline ever: "Fux off to Benfica"
Gotta go with Brutil Hose, the Dutch player courted by MLS last year. Soccer player? Porn star? You decide.
Come now. The best soccernet headline was the transfer of a certain goalkeeper to ManCity: Seaman fills the gap.