I understand this site is mainly for older soccer players. However, (please) I need some information with your younger experience playing soccer. My son is 8 years old and this upcoming season will play travel soccer in U9. My son has fantastic footskills, extremely quick, and he will steal the ball from his U12 sister and he doesn't have a problem taking her down when they are outside fooling around with the ball. When he gets comfortable with the boys who are on his team, and they are scrimmaging, he will get in there and really play the game. However, the minute a tournament game starts or if he is at practice with kids he doesn't know...it is like he is terrified. He waits for the ball to be given to him. He isn't aggressive. Sometimes if the ball is kicked hard towards him, he flinches. He acts like he is getting into position and he calls for the ball but, then when it is passed to him, he leaves just enough time for the other kid to take it. Now, there are times when he turns into the kid I see playing in the backyard during a game but there are not many times and they don't last long. He is a tiny 8 year old. Comparing to the kids in his class at school, he usually falls either last or next to last (in height). Obviously, neither my husband or myself are giants. However, I see other tiny kids, who play soccer, and they are right in there and are playing aggressive and are all over the field. My husband played soccer up until college but he was one of those aggressive little kids. My question to you fellows out there is..... When you were young (U8 U9) were you really aggressive on the field? Were any of you afraid like my son and then came out of your shell in U10 or U11? Can you let me know when you started to play the game and what type of player where you in your younger years? Please don't be rude, I am truly just seeking some information here. I know that my son may need to move on to another sport. However, some people say it is too young to tell. So, I thought if I can get some background on some guys who are still playing the game then I could have a little insight on what to do. I have been reading on this forum for weeks and I am really impressed that you don't have these people who constantly leave terrible and rude comments. You guys give true advice and don't seem to down anyone who has a question.
"He waits for the ball to be given to him. He isn't aggressive. Sometimes if the ball is kicked hard towards him, he flinches. He acts like he is getting into position and he calls for the ball but, then when it is passed to him, he leaves just enough time for the other kid to take it" There is more then a couple of things here. I will address them all with you. So this will be a big post. It sounds like he does know how or when to tackle the ball away from the opponents. Let's talk about the stand up block tackle the normal tackle. It is all about timing and form not about being physical or big or even contact with the player. It is about winning the ball, then starting your teams attack. Tell your son the idea is not to crash into the dribbler. The idea is to win the ball from the dribbler. You don't go for the tackle when the dribbler has close control of the ball. You do close space on the dribbler. Meaning if the dribbler is alone you close that open space within two yards of the dribbler. That alone limits the dribbler options, his view of the goal and also his passing options. Then you position your self to be ready to tackle. You get into a side ways position, and again you wait for the moment where the dribbler does not have close control of the ball. Then at that time you go for the tackle. So it is a lot about the timing of the tackle and knowing when to tackle. You never go straight into the player. Your not looking to bang into him just take the ball away from him. Then you can start your teams own attack. You come in from an angle to the left or the right of the dribbler not straight into the dribbler. You tackle using only the inside of the foot with a bended knee not stiff legged. You want to hit the center of the ball so your tackling foot should be slightly off the ground with the heal down, and toes up ankle locked. It looks very similar to the form he uses for his push passes. Can he make a good push pass by the way? So he hits the center of the ball, and the tackling foot follows through riding up the ball. That gives the ball top spin. You want to put top spin on the ball to help the ball go over the dribblers right or left foot depending on the angle he took. He wants to put the ball behind the dribbler off the dribblers left or right shoulder. Then you go to the ball and win the ball and start her own attack. If you don't hit the ball over the dribblers foot the first time. Immediately tackle the ball again, and keep tackling until he does win the ball. When you tackle you will hear a loud noise of your foot hitting the ball, not your foot hitting the dribbler and not the dribblers foot hitting his body. A loud noise but no one should be hurt either player. Both of you hit the ball at the same time again loud noise both neither player should be hurt because your just hitting a ball. Take a ball put it down. You come from one angle he comes from another angle you both hit the side of the ball your facing at the same time. You both will hear a loud noise, and you both will be okay. Do not turn your inside of the foot after the touch. Keep it square with the ball just like he does with the push pass. If he can't do the push pass think of it as when you putt in golf. You don't turn the face of the club immediately after the putt as your follow through you keep the face of the club in the direction you want the ball to go. The tackling foot also faces in the direction you want the ball to go. Also the non tacking foot points the direction you want the ball to go. Eye on the ball and tackle coming in from an angle, hitting the ball with the inside of your foot so it goes straight over one of the dribblers feet with your top spin follow through. You don't want to hit the ball into the dribblers body. Practice-last thing is you don't go for a tackle unless you have a team mate supporting from behind just in case you miss. Practice - once he understands that you are not making contact with the dribbler just the ball, and the foot to ball contact does not hurt he will be fine. Once he sees that she can win the ball he will be like the terminator on his tackles Good luck practice and have fun with it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- It also sounds like he does not know how to control the ball. Take him to a handball court in the morning with a ball. Let him hit the ball hard and control the ball off the wall simple. Nothing like a ball a wall and a players imagination. -------------------------------------------- He may also need practice on going for 50/50 balls. Steal the bacon Play steal the bacon, and on each end play with goals. It starts with a 50/50 ball situation. One of the players wins the ball then the defender again must win the ball not just knock it away. Who ever wins ball can then attack his goal to score. You dribble the ball into the goal or make a short push pass no shooting or long passes to score want to see battles for possession. The defender can chase the dribbler and try to win the ball back and then tries to score on his goal. You get 1 v 1 tacling practice, you get making recovery efforts to win the ball back, and you get scoring practice with a defender on you. ------------------------------------------------------------- Lastly he needs practice on his first touch. So he knows where to play the ball before he ever touches the ball when it is passed to him. So before he gets the ball he should scan the field and then he puts that pass into that open space and he is good to go dribble, or he can pass or he can shoot. He should not stop the ball close to his body. That first touch is also used to beat his defender any where near him to allow him time, and space to shoot, to pass or to dribble. I hope some of this or all of this will help your sons game.
I would guess you would have to also remember he is just 8 and is maybe very nervous playing a game. Try reassuring him, getting him relaxed before a game to just go out and express himself and maybe he can play. Imagine if you were a tiny 8 year old going onto a pitch with I presume screaming parents and being nervous. Then every game you didnt play that good and you go to the next game and repeat the cycle. Try and break that cycle
As a father of two (7 and 6 year olds) I can relate to your situation. My youngest played a season of flag football while my oldest sat out because he wasn't interested. When the next season came around he had a bit more interst and we talked him into playing. The first few games were difficult to watch. He's a good athlete and likes to win but when it came to the game it's almost as in he tuned out. He would keep up with all of the fastest players but would just run next to them and never attempt to get their flag. On offense when he ran the ball he was more interested in not getting his flag pulled than with advancing the ball. Like I said this went on for several games. I tried doing my best to talk to him but nothing I did seemed to work. Before one game he was going on and on about how he really wanted a slurpee, and could we get a slurpee after the game. My mom was at the game and told him if he pulled one opposing team members flag she would make sure he got a slurpee (typical grandmother behavior). Two flags and a touchdown run later my son was happily drinking his slurpee and I was shaking my head. Now I'm not a fan of any "incentive" type of system but it motivated my son to play like he could. And it seemed like he only needed that one game to get his confidence because after that he played every game at 100%, no slurpee needed. I'm not sure if something like that would work for your son but for us it allowed our son to actually try. And once he understood he could play and it was ok to make a mistake he really opened up as a player.
I am not sure bribery is a good way to go. Do that with trying to get higher marks in school as well? He just got used to getting the flag from the player where ever he kept it.
If you read my post I said I don't agree with it as well. But it worked and all he need was one game of "bribery" for him to get over his mental block. After that game he was more excited about getting on the field results and could care less about whatever he was drinking after the game.
Extrinsic and intrinsic rewards. I learnt about this at A Level. Extrinsic rewards should be used for cognitive learners - individuals who are relatively new to a sport, aren't advanced and are generally younger. So it makes sense for children. Intrinsic rewards are more aligned to autonomous learners - individuals such as professionals, they can perform complex moves with subconscious thought. Basically, extrinsic rewards include things such as praise; "Well done! That was fantastic!", medals/cups or little things the kids want. As they grow older, they'll be more motivated to perform better. At my age group, players perform well because they are intrinsically (internally) motivated. I'd see absolutely no harm in rewarding the kids with something, as they get they'll become less reliant on rewards. There are various ways to motivate kids, but extrinsic rewards are guaranteed to get results.. As Bosk suggested.
Also, may I add.. I do not condone parents who scream at young kids for doing something wrong. It is completely wrong. It can lead to the kids detesting the sport, lack of motivation, and it very rarely leads to anything positive. It annoys me a great deal. The better younger players are the ones who are encouraged, they play because they enjoy it. The worse younger players are ones with pushy parents; "We want you to get into this sport, so we'll force you into playing it.. And if you do anything wrong then we'll scream and punish you." You can overcome any of these problems at a young age, get them catching/kicking a ball as soon as they can walk but do NOT force them. Tell them how you used to do it. Children look to their parents as role models, if they don't see you playing football or forcing it upon them then they won't comply. A mate of mine, his younger brother (who is a fantastic young player) was first introduced to football from his father watching it on TV. He saw his Dad was passionate about football, and wanted to replicate it. He became obsessed with football, he could tell you how many goals Torres scored for Liverpool for example. From there, he spent his own time practising in the back garden, dribbling round imaginary players. And now he has Manchester City after him. Not once did his Dad ever say to him; "You MUST play football." He played football through his own decision, and that's what leads to success.
[quote="nicklaino, post: 25808350, member: 201084" Tell your son the idea is not to crash into the dribbler. The idea is to win the ball from the dribbler. .[/quote] Thank you so much for replying! You have no idea how much I appreciate you taking the time and writing such a post. I loved the entire post! I must admit that my eyes opened wide to the comment of yours, "Tell your son the idea is not to crash into the dribbler. The idea is to win the ball from the dribbler." I have started discussing this with my son and adding a little bit more of your post everyday. He is starting to understand what I am saying but still not applying it when he plays the game. Youth soccer needs more coaches like you and the other people posting on this forum. You have no idea the comments that I would have received posting this on another forum. I "get" your post. Practice the skills and the rest will come. Youth soccer has become way too competitive and we (the parents) end up destroying the fun of the game because if our kids are late bloomers we seem like they will never catch up to the other kids on the field who are tearing it up. I have been told that you HAVE to get your kid in only one sport by the time they are 8 years old or they will never catch up to the other kids. So here I am, terrified to let him take a season off. I go back and forth between signing him up for golf lessons or keeping him in soccer one more season. I said that last season! I want my son to be involved in something. He can't be sitting at home, on the couch, watching TV or playing video games. During the school year, he gets home from school about 4:00 pm and then it is homework and then off to either his soccer or his sister's soccer practice. Not like when I was young and there seemed like endless time for bike rides or just playing outside. Times have changed. I am getting off track here! Sorry! I have about a week before I commit him to a $900 travel ball fall season. In my heart, I feel like this season, he still won't step up and help his team. It is painful to watch when a team is counting on him and he isn't playing like I know he is capable of playing. However, it is also painful for me to take him off the U9 team, knowing that he has it in him and I will always wonder if this season he might have found the confidence he needed. UGH! This sucks! Much love to all of you who posted!
Thanks for the compliment I am not worthy of it. I started playing when I was 11 years old. My local park had an Italian adult travel team practicing there. I saw them practicing something about the game I liked from the beginning. I would show up at the same day and time and they would be there practicing. I never spoke with them I just watched. One day their coach walked up to me and asked me if I would like to train with them. He gave me a soccer ball at the end and just said practice. He became a father figure to me my real father had no use for me and beat me up every chance he got. That is how I got involved in the game. Practice with your son and love him. That is the best you can do for him. Is there a tryout to make the team your talking about? A good way to practice is a ball and a wall and his imagination try things off the wall Best of luck to him and you. I think he already lucked out for having you as his mother.
Some nice observations, mom. The late bloomer sentiment is true and it's something that I have to fight constantly as a coach. Too many of pay-to-play clubs take the approach that early developing players are the key to winning and they are shunning the late bloomers. They're throwing away a veritable gold mine of talent, because they don't want to do the hard work of making marginal players better. You can put him other sports, but from my perspective treat one as the priority. If there are conflicts, he goes to the priority sport/activity. Everything else should take a back seat IF you guys are playing at a competitive level. Maybe people have changed. Certainly we still can just let our kids ride bikes all day and play in the woods. I feel like I caught the tail end of the "old life" in the early nineties. Kids in my neighborhood would play sports in the streets for hours, run around the woods, ride bikes all day, etc. Now everything is organized. We didn't have the amount of homework kids have today and we still turned out to be productive members of society.
Along about age 10 children typically start making choices for themselves. You have that to look forward to soon. Mia Hamm quit soccer at age 10. Her choice. She was playing on a boys team coached by her Dad. Her Dad simply kept coaching the team. Eight months later she started playing again. Her choice. This time she didn't quit until age 32 after 275 international caps and 158 international goals. Her choice again. This self-motivation is a common theme in star athletes. Specializing in one sport too early actually retards althletic development. The early years are focused on developing fundamentals. So playing multiple sports is an advantage in that sense. Viewed from an individual player's perspective, however, early specialization may lead to better training opportunities for players who do not have family members to provide quality coaching. Athletic potential without quality training opportunites won't lead to meaningful progress. In my view that is why there are many successful professional athletes deficient in basic athletic skills due to specializing in a sport at too young an age. So from an individual perspective you want to see your child have fun while getting the best coaching available. Specialization might be necessary at some point to open up opportunities. In other times and cultures quality coaching was readily available from neighbors. In most places that is no longer true.
You don't have to be a soccer coach or skilled player to practice with your child. Tossing a ball to him so that he can receive it, control it and pass it back, takes no athletic skills at all. There are plenty of non-soccer activities that will help as well. Just about any kid's play activity develops athletic skills or fitness. Jump rope, hop skotch, tag, red light-green light, tree climbing, bike riding, dodge ball, swimming, etc. Chasing around the yard with squirt guns on a hot summer day works too. Anything fun and active helps. Of course playing other sports will help too, if you have interests in that regard. Not just traditional team sports. Some coaches recommend martial arts for pre-teens and yoga for teens.
Although my next door neighbor was out with his daughter the other day practicing soccer. And most of the things he was "coaching" her was wrong. If you don't know how to do it correctly, just kicking the ball around is fine. "Coaching" the wrong things is worse than not coaching at all. If you're not sure you're doing it correctly, go find out—it's ALL a few keystrokes away these days. From the first time they kick a ball to organizing asymmetric systems of play for a team in the European championship. It's all on the internet.
After reading all these post, I feel we are getting robbed of some quality coaching! I didn't believe you guys existed anymore. I am not just "blowing smoke" so to speak. Another mother and I just had this conversation out on the soccer field yesterday. We were asking, "Where have all the invested coaches gone?" There are wonderful coaches out there with great abilities to teach the skills to the kids at practice but their communication and the caring for the kids is almost nonexistent, even in U6 and U8 teams. They seem too tough or maybe too arrogant to give an inspirational talk to the kids every once in awhile. My son really needs that coach to believe in him. He needs someone (besides his mom) to take him aside and give him a little confidence in himself. I can only speak for the coaches in the club my children are playing in and (obviously) reading everyone's post has made me believe this is not everywhere. I don't necessarily believe this is the coaches fault. I believe the parents are pushing for harder coaching styles. My son did have tryouts and he did make the U9 team but really that doesn't mean anything. There is only one U9 team and they will take anyone who wants to be on the team. My daughter, who plays in U12, just made the "A" team. I can tell you there is so much shame in making a "B" team. Not only for the children but the parents feel this shame. I suppose it is the "living through your child" that makes the parents feel shame that their child is on the 'B" team. The coach of the "A" team has the best practice's I have ever seen. However, he is such an arrogant coach and is such a (well, you can just think of your own name that I am calling him). It may surprise you that his team, last season and the season before that, lost all but a few games. I have a picture of him after a game, walking away from his team, with his head hung down. In the background the girls are sitting on the field and each player has their heads hung down or they are sitting their with a defeated look on their faces. To me, it represents what youth soccer has become. They have a new coach for the U12 "B" team girls. He has already given little confidence talks to the parents and the kids on his team and they haven't even had a practice yet! So, maybe I can't speak for every coach in this club....he may have some great potential. I am just a mom who wants her kids to play soccer. I am willing to pay the ridiculous fee's of a club in order for my kids to learn great soccer. Both my kids have played recreational soccer which is much cheaper but you pay for what you get. In my experience, 90% of these coaches are mom's and dad's who don't really know how to teach the game. You may luck out and get a coach that can teach the game. However, it is hard to play soccer against a team that is just playing kick ball and every man is for themselves. That isn't a bad thing. They are wanting to be involved in the sport and they are having fun. I would rather have my kids learn the game the correct way. Personally, you guys need to get together and write a book! Or, maybe put out a monthly youth soccer magazine. I don't know of one out there? Personally... there are millions of books on youth soccer that I wouldn't buy but I know I would subscribe to a monthly magazine about youth soccer that had such positive and REAL comments on children playing the game! I love how there is a comment on giving a little incentive (a bribe) and people post such positive comments about both sides of it. I will admit, I have been there and done that regarding a little bribe. (Didn't work but I had hopes.) A magazine that will show both sides of a youth soccer dilemma. Can you imagine the amount of letters with questions you would get from parents? It was so nice to hear such POSITIVE comments that have come my way in regards to my son! It is like reading a good book before turning in for the night! Take Care! Much love to all who have posted. You guys are great!
It's tough. Really it's a 2-way learning process. There's very few 20-30 year olds who can either play the game and more importantly teach it who can connect with kids. I certainly don't have all the interactions between my U12Gs figured out. My wife always "yells" at me when I get frustrated. I was hard-edged, hyper-competitive player and it's not easy to dial that back when you try to teach the game to beginners. It's certainly taught me patience. About being the confidence-giver. Aside from positive expressions, I don't pull kids aside and give them heart to hearts. Maybe I should. The biggest challenge I see out there is to get kids practicing on their own and watching professional soccer on TV. Basically, I need to help them fall in love with the game. I don't think I accomplish that through fear and intimidation. Besides, what kind of person attempts to squeeze performance out of an 11 YO girl through fear and intimidation? Too often this awesome game is just surrounded by fear and anxiety at the youngest levels. AT U9 it's pretty common to go through tryouts with cuts. Getting cut before someone qualified has actually taught you what you're supposed to be doing? Sounds silly, right? Don't be so willing to pay the fees. Just know what you're getting into and don't drown in the BS. I do my best to create an ideal environment but I still get at least one parent a season who isn't happy. Not a bad idea. The magazine format might be more useful as you can address new and more relevant topics regularly.
i hear this kind of thing from parents all the time. their kid plays great against kids they know... but it's a whole different story when they start playing against kids they don't know. honestly, i don't think it's a skill problem. i think it's just your kid trying to be a "good kid". he goes out there and he doesn't want to hurt anyone or push anyone around or offend anyone. he just wants to be liked, and he just wants everyone to have fun. there's a part of his brain that's thinking, "if i don't play my hardest, if i don't try my hardest, if i let these other kids win, then they'll have fun." (it's kind of like when adults play coed soccer. guys tend to go easier on girls--because they figure they're less likely to get a phone number after the game if they play their hardest. it's not just soccer--it's also kind of like when girls "dumb themselves down"--because they figure being too smart will intimidate guys.) in contrast, when he's with his friends. he knows them. they know him. if he goes in a little hard, they won't hold it against him--it's just a game--everyone's having fun. what he's not understanding (and what you may want to explain him) is that all of those other "new"/"unknown" kids are there to be challenged. sure, they want to beat him and his team, but they also want him and his teammates to try their best. they don't want him to "let them win". winning is fun, but the real fun comes from trying your best to win--and from beating someone who has tried their best. so my suggestion is to talk to your son about why he plays soccer... what does he like most about the game? does he like it better when opponents try? or does he like it better when opponents just let him "win"? my guess is that he likes it more when there's a challenge. well, guess what? other kids also like it more when there's a challenge!
To be honest.. I'd completely disagree Snolly. I'd say the little guy plays better against kids he knows because he knows their strengths and weaknesses inside out. He might seem a little young to be thinking: 'I know how to beat ----, I'm faster than him so I'll do this.' But he'll remember from past experiences what to do to get past them. He most likely won't be thinking of it exactly, but his brain knows what to do. With other kids he doesn't know, it's a different case. Something he knows can beat players on his team might not work against his opponents. I play 90 minute games, and generally it takes me a good 20/30 minutes to work out what my opponents are good at, what foot they are and so on. At his age, he won't be thinking about this and how he can counter it. It'll be more like: 'This works in training against my friends, why doesn't it work now?' There's not a lot you can do really. If it's a motivation problem, I listed what to do above. But most likely it's just because he isn't yet experienced enough to do well. Be patient. The best players are the confident ones. Don't shout, but encourage him. Tell him what he does well and what he could improve on. Follow that and he'll be fine!
You, again...hit the nail on the head! That is EXACTLY the way my son plays. He did make the U9 Travel Club Team, but unfortunately he does not want to play anymore. We tried to talk him into playing. Finally, after many attempts, he said he would play one more season. I was so happy until I saw his face and he had this little fake smile on his face and his eyes looked sad. I knew at that exact moment, I was MAKING him play soccer. So, I went to registration and signed up my daughter for the fall season and didn't register him. As stupid as it sounds, that entire day, I felt as if I was mourning the loss of that little boy, who dominated the soccer field when he first started to play the game. To tell the truth, I felt my son was just being lazy. However, I know now that he is not a lazy boy and he has continued to practice juggling the soccer ball (on his own) while waiting for my daughter at soccer camp. We signed him up for a golf camp next month. He started to throw the baseball around with his dad. We dusted off his drum set and we both have been taking lessons off of a "Learn to Drum" DVD. I realize now, no matter what I would tell him or how much he practiced... if he didn't love the game then it all didn't matter. Don't get me wrong.... I am now sporting a fake smile with sad eyes! HaHa! I would love nothing better then to hear him say he wants to play soccer again but I won't push it anymore. I will admit, signing him up for golf camp was painful. I hate golf. However, he has a relief on his face and a true smile. In the end, when I look at the big picture, that is what is important to me. Every child is different and that is proven with all the different posts that everyone has written. My daughter loves playing soccer. She made the Club's Travel A team for U12 this upcoming season. I hear soccer get's a lot harder after U12. It is so comforting to know, if I should have any questions in the future regarding my daughter, there are very educated coaches and parents here on this forum. Much love to all of you who have taken the time to post.
I am thinking this might just be a trick question? My sport was dancing until my senior year in high school. Then, I entered the medical field and had 2 children. When I have spare time, I try to get my kids outside as often as I can. We mostly swim or ride our bikes around the neighborhood. Are you going to tell me to play soccer so my son will love it more? I am afraid that just isn't going to happen at my age. Not sure I would have been able to do it in my younger years either. I love to watch it though!!!! Are you going to kick me out of the player forum?
I started playing when I was 6. I can't ever remember being scared, not against kids the same age anyway. I remember being worried when I played older kids. I had a feeling they might go in hard and break my leg. I wouldn't worry too much about it at this age, just make sure he concentrates on receiving the ball and passing the ball well. I'd say they are more important than tackling for a very young player. Confidence going into tackles can come in time and when he gets more comfortable with the kids he's playing with. Your problem with him moving to another sport is that if he's small there wont be many other sports he could take up anyway, from what I understand of American Football and basketball, height is something that is very much needed. Get him some good shin pads, I always felt better wearing big quality shin pads, less worry of someone snapping my leg
ha ha. No not trick question. And I'm not kicking you out. Not yet at least. I'm just curious and obv your daughter loves it despite it not being either of her parent's sports.
If no parents played the game I would advise one or both to start playing some where on a rec team. You may think you know what it is really like when you try to help your kids with the game, but you don't. You have to play at some level to really see what it like to play under pressure. Then you can see why the first touch of the ball is very important. So you scan the field before you get the pass. Then you know where to put the ball on your first touch so you can do whatever you want to do on your second touch.