1. Toronto FC will win the Supporter's Shield. 2. Ike Opara, actually plays the entire season injury free. 3. Jordan Morris scores a brace in the season opener and never looks back, setting an MLS season scoring record. 4. Chicago and Colorado each manage to win four matches. 5.LA's superstar laden lineup fails to gel. They manage to sneak into the playoffs and are immediately dispatched by Seattle. 6. Bruce Arena retires (lol, just kidding). 7. Jason Kreis replaces Klinsmann following group stage loss at home to Guatemala. Benny Feilhaber and Matt Hedges are immediately called in. Both FCD and SKC lose their matches in their respective absences. 8. David Beckham actually finds a stadium site. The Miccosuke Indian Nation become invested in Major League Soccer. 9. Don Garber experiences an assassination.attempt by crazed Big Soccer fan, who believes the Don was holding Jurgen back. The NRA suggests that guns be allowed in MLS stadiums. 10. Ibrahimovic signs with the new Minnesota team. He thought he was going to Florida. 11. John Terry, now with Atlanta is arrested outside the Gold Club. Fans speculate that a teammate's wife was possibly working there. 12. After 20 games, Patrick Viera is the first coach fired for the season. 13. Wait, is Mix Diskerud growing an Andrea Pirlo beard? 14. Free Agent signings Brad Davis and Justin Mapp lead SKC to the MLS title. 15. MLS sets another attendance record. 16 The New England Revolution reveal plans for a new stadium on the Mashpee Wampanoag Indian land near Taunton. 17. After sitting out half the season, Jermaine Jones signs with New England for $100,00. In his first game he is red carded for a late tackle on Jair Marrufo. He is utilized as a part time starter and off the bench spark. He retires at the end of the season. 18. Mr Warmth reveals he is actually Andrew Hauptmann. 19. In the USA News and Analysis forum an, ahem, "obnoxious jerk" is finally banned. He ultimately uses the words "troll", "trolling", "never played the game", "don't watch the games" and other insults toward posters enough that it is realized he may be bad for business. The Press offer he may have been exchanging pms with the crazy assassin. 20. Michael Bradley and Sebastian Giovinco are named Co-MLS Players of the year. 21. The MLS all stars defeat Leicester City 4-0 in San Jose. MVP Jordan Morris scores a hat trick and says he has never been happier. It is mentioned that Seattle has given him a new contract, halfway through his first season. 22. Jamie Vardy signs a dp contract with Chicago, but only scores 4 goals in the remaining 16 matches. That's all from me, enjoy the thread. Cheers to Major League Soccer!
1. The league figures out a way to make Canadians count as domestics on American teams. As part of this, the Canadian quota is fully eliminated on the Canadian teams. As a consequence, Tiebert, Osorio, and Lefevre are all traded to American teams, and the actual minutes played by Canadians on Canadian teams decreases. Canadian fans still claim the whole thing is a USSF conspiracy.
Bold predictions? I don't know about Bold, but I can do Gold! Gold Prediction #1: Revs make MLS Cup Final. Lose for 6th time. GP2: Jurgen's USMNT is gifted the easiest group in the Copa, and ekes out of the group round. Dispatched immediately after. Sunil and the BS JurgenKorps hail the USMNT's glorious run to the QF's of a Major Tournament! GP3: High praise from ESPNFC as Jurgen's USMNT is not eliminated from the Hex in 2016! GP4: Giovinco has an incredible season.....until DeJong smashes his leg in. GP5: A third through the season Arena is drinking Black Russians as he realizes that Kennedy is the New Cudicini. GP6: Halfway through the season Arena takes to flagons of Whiskey as he realizes that the opposition is cutting through his Omar-less defense like a knife through Jelle. GP7: Two thirds through the season Gerrard is on the bench, and Cole is playing on the beach. Arena is gone the Full Mourinho...... GP8: After the humiliation of failure to make the playoffs, AEG sells the Galaxy to the consortium headed by Beckham. GP9: By the end of the year, the NYCFC crowd is chanting for the second coming of Kreis. GP10: By the end of the year, Adu will be playing for Orlando.
The Galaxy, at one point in the season, will field a lineup in which the average age of the players on the field will be 32+ (currently the starting lineup is projected to be an average of 30.5 years old on opening day). Jordan Morris has a disappointing season (though acceptable by rookie standards). NYCFC finishes above Orlando. Jozy scores 20+ goals. Jim Curtin is the first managerial casualty of the year. Miami finally gets their stadium approved. Only one Canadian team makes the playoffs. Drogba's 2015 form doesn't carry over to 2016. League attendance drops from 2015.
Easy: "Bold" is any wild ass prediction which may actually happen. "Gold" is any wild ass prediction which we fear may actually happen.....
The US will land in a group with Chile, Paraguay and Panama at the CA Centenario ... They will finish the group stage with 1 point ... Klinsmann will blame it on the Sounders for signing Morris ... Is that bold enough?
Just days after the end of the season, the Chicago Fire are sold to a local owner/operator for $145,000,000.00. Peter Wilt takes over the helm of the Fire and brings the Sting back to Chicago as the Fire's USL team. There are tears of joy. Andrew Hauptman blows the $110,000,000 he makes in profit for selling the team and all of the TAM he has been squirreling away to make "Thunderpants 2, the Legend of Curley's Hole" starring Rupert Grint. He loses $100,000,000 in the process. There are tears of joy. Yes, "Thunderpants" was actually a movie Andrew Hauptman produced. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283054/ "An 11-year-old boy's amazing ability to break wind leads him first to fame and then to death row, before it helps him to fulfill his ambition of becoming an astronaut."
Jordan Morris scores a brace his first game. Ends the season with five. Freddy Adu is signed by the Revs in June. The USA goes three and out at Copa America and Sunil Gulati extends JK's contract through 2022 so he can coach his son. Zoidberg is arrested outside of US soccer headquarters brandishing a firearm. Landon Donovan is signed by the Chinese Super League Freddy Adu is released in October when the Revs refuse to give him a DP contract.
The Mark Cuban backed futsal league will come with promotion and relegation, and immediately relegate MLS to the backwaters of soccer in this country.
Sanders wins presidency and like a good socialist/commie outlaws MLB, NFL, NHL and NBA, making soccer our new national pastime.
But the deal fell through when the Wampanoags rejected Krafts offer to "more than double" the value of Manhattan Island, offering $50 worth of shells and beads, leaving the Revs in the dreary, soul-less suburban concrete edifice for another 15 years, or whenever the Patriots decide it is "obsolete," whichever comes first. The one time the Revs do the right thing--signing a player like Xavier Kouassi--it backfires. He tore his MCL and ACL and won't play at all in 2016. The Revs will likely have to overpay Jones if they want him back. Otherwise, Jones will train with the Galaxy while playing for the Nats the whole summer, and then sign with some German club for the European season. And the Jonesless Revs will get an MVP-like year out of Lee Nguyen, and they will show stretches ranging between brilliance and competence, combined with long stretches of USL-level play, and they will limp into the playoffs for another one-and-done postseason. Heaps and Burns will be rewarded with raises and extensions to their contracts for yet another "successful" season. Burns will proclaim that they "have a good core of players," and there is no need to sign any new players over the following season.
NE won't need to sign anyone for 2017, they'll (maybe) have a healthy Xavier Kouassi by then. (Although, I'm sure a guy coming back from an ACL and MCL tear will be keen to take to the Field Turfs of MLS and NE.)