Blue States, Lacking Martial Spirit & Guns, Cancel Plans To Secede From U.S. Plans drawn up by the Blue States to secede from the United States were scrapped yesterday, as would-be militant separatists realized "it's kinda hard to secede when you don't own any guns." The "Blue States" – the U.S. coastal areas and a few states in the Upper Midwest that traditionally vote Democratic – are feeling increasingly isolated and some Blue State People openly called to secede from the rest of the "God-fearin', sister-marryin', (and here's the key) gun-totin' Red States. "When we were making fun of those Red State hicks," said a Blue Stater, "we never realized that, to secede, we'd need some firearms. They have guns and we don't. Onward, atheist soldiers, to Plan B." According to a recent study, the only Blue State people with "decent amounts" of guns are "a couple thousand deer hunters" spread throughout rural Pennsylvania and "several hundred gang-bangers" in large California cities. "Thanks to our liberal sensibilities," said an anonymous Blue Stater, "we're not even able to start a second revolution. It's difficult to set off another 'Shot Heard Round The World' when you lack the device that does the shooting." Military analysts said the only serious attack that could be mounted by the Blue States (besides the hunters and hoodlums) was an advance on Virginia by the 5th Connecticut Watergun Regiment. "But I'm pretty sure the Virginians could defend themselves," said military historian Caleb Carr, "because they've heard of raincoats."
damn i had my pitchforks and molitov cocktails ready. Now what am i gonna do with my Y2K Bunker?????????
Did you ever notice that it is always in the blue states that sportfans attack the players? Just like in Europe. It seems like people in red states are more civilized.
However, players from a red state team were the first ones to go into the stands. And, the Clemson-original USC brawl was between two teams from a red state .
Ian McCracken's Militia stand ready. The men are making bullets and the women making hoods from pillow cases. http://www.michiganmilitia.org/
I put that up as humour but now after reading some of it, I have to swallow my words. Ian would NEVER agree to 'some' of the liberal thoughts here. Example: http://www.michiganmilitia.org/html/fighting terrorism.html Most of the rest though is the usual claptrap.
Conservatives Continue Comedy Boycott - in ongoing protests against the cultural divide in the United States, a loose coalition of Republicans, conservatives, fundamentalists, and dickheads in general continue their resistance to anything resembling funny. "That them there humor stuff is from liberals like Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, and such," said the guy with the "Get a Brain! Morans" sign. "By God, we'll stick with our Jeff Foxworthy or, Christ help us, Mallard Fillmore. I mean, Jesus God, Mallard god-damned ass-********ing Fillmore. That's what we have. He makes that piece-of-******** Onion rip-off Scrappleface look like Blazing Saddles. Just ********ing put us out of our misery."
Does anyone else see the enormous humor in this... Reputation points to the first person to post a France surrender joke!!!!
Ever heard of a Glock or a Tec-9? You may have Billy Bob from West Texas with his double barrell but I'll take my man from South Central with his arsenal ANY DAY.