BBC for Kids - Why 9/11 Happened

Discussion in 'Politics & Current Events' started by MasterShake29, Sep 11, 2007.

  1. zippy85

    zippy85 Red Card

    Jul 4, 2007
    England
    Club:
    Manchester United FC
    Its seems every thread i read has people in it saying how much of a cancer the British Empire was on the world, other coutries have done worse and the USA has not been perfect, you should focus your hate on something that actually deserves it, like maybe the French or Germans, just saying.:)
     
  2. John Galt

    John Galt Member

    Aug 30, 2001
    Atlanta
    That's actually an easy one, assuming the average 4-year old is just learning math and how to tell time. By the time he got done looking at the clock, figuring out which was the hour hand, what time it was and if 5 + 4 = 9 he'd have totally forgotten what an erection was.

    It's much harder to explain to a child who hasn't seen a Disney movie yet that not all strangers want to fly an airplane into his house.
     
  3. monop_poly

    monop_poly Member

    May 17, 2002
    Chicago

    And candy. Don't forget razor blades in apples and cyanide injected into a fruit roll-up.
     
  4. argentine soccer fan

    Staff Member

    Jan 18, 2001
    San Francisco Bay Area
    Club:
    CA Boca Juniors
    Nat'l Team:
    Argentina
    The French are nice. They always let you win.
     
  5. PhillyQuakesFan

    PhillyQuakesFan New Member

    Jun 25, 2007
    Delaware County, PA
    Club:
    Philadelphia Union
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Classic....

    I was 4 or 5 when Tyson got arrested, was on the floor playing with Legos while my mom was watching the news and of course when they started talking about it I asked her what rape was. She replied that "it's when somebody makes you do something you don't want to do".

    A few weeks later, we had company over and my dad asked me to do some sort of chore; I didn't want to do it, and when he insisted I yelled "DAD, STOP RAPING ME!!!".
     
  6. white riot

    white riot Member+

    Apr 27, 2005
    Southampton, England
    Club:
    Southampton FC
    Nat'l Team:
    England

    Coming from an Argie?
     
  7. tcmahoney

    tcmahoney New Member

    Feb 14, 1999
    Metronatural
    [​IMG]

    It's completely irrelevant to this thread, but I saw that shirt for sale in a window along my bus route.
     
  8. Heinz

    Heinz Member

    Nov 19, 2005
    Evergreen State
    Bin Laden was further angered by America's post-Gulf War efforts to oust Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein by imposing an embargo against his nation.

    WTH??? I thought Bin Laden hate Saddam??
     
  9. wallacegrommit

    Sep 19, 2005
    :D
    An erection is when the little hand becomes the big hand.
     
  10. PhillyQuakesFan

    PhillyQuakesFan New Member

    Jun 25, 2007
    Delaware County, PA
    Club:
    Philadelphia Union
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Q: How can you tell it's bedtime at the Neverland ranch??

    A: When the big hand touches the little hand
     
  11. Chris M.

    Chris M. Member+

    Jan 18, 2002
    Chicago

    "Son, we have a general erection every four years which results in another dick in the white house."
     
  12. wolfp10

    wolfp10 Member

    Sep 25, 2005
    So if 9/11 were rape, and the U.S. were a women, would our involvement in world affairs be a miniskirt and some make-up?
     
  13. wallacegrommit

    Sep 19, 2005
    More seriously, the quibble I have with the article is that it makes it sound like there was a military occupation of Saudi Arabia by U.S. troops, which I think is misleading by not mentioning Sadam and Kuwait.
     
  14. argentine soccer fan

    Staff Member

    Jan 18, 2001
    San Francisco Bay Area
    Club:
    CA Boca Juniors
    Nat'l Team:
    Argentina
    Or the fact that the Saudi Royals actually invited the US troops to their country. That is one thing that really pissed off Osama. He wanted to be the one to fight against Saddam and become the hero.
     
  15. RichardL

    RichardL BigSoccer Supporter

    May 2, 2001
    Berkshire
    Club:
    Reading FC
    Nat'l Team:
    England
    if the question was "what made the rapist choose that woman?", the answer could be yes.

    Saying yes in that case wouldn't equate to saying the woman deserved it, or that it was justified.
     
  16. nicephoras

    nicephoras A very stable genius

    Fucklechester Rangers
    Jul 22, 2001
    Eastern Seaboard of Yo! Semite
    Re: Revisionist Posting

    Actually, rather amusingly, there's a small prayer for the queen that's part of the Jewish high holidays in the UK. I found that really funny. Especially since I'm a Catholic, of course.
     
  17. JBigjake

    JBigjake Member+

    Nov 16, 2003
    Revisionist Posting

    Much like your post #2.
     
  18. YankBastard

    YankBastard Na Na Na Na NANANANAAA!

    Jun 18, 2005
    Estados Unidos
    Club:
    AS Roma
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    President's Remarks Preceding Moment of Compulsory Silence Commemorating Annual Orgy of 9/11TM Patrio-Grief

    THE PRESIDENT: Please be seated. This morning, I'd like to take a moment to remind everyone that today happens to be the day after the day after that formerly taut jailbait cheerleader slutwich Britney Spears zombie-danced like a Twinkie sponge cake with eyes at the MTV RINGTONE AWARDS. OMG, it was truly outrageous. I mean, did you see Puff Ditty making that horror movie "O" face? (Laughs.) Oh yeah, and today's also the sixth anniversary of that 9/11TM thing.

    As such, I'd like for all of you to take a moment of silence in order to think about all that you would have lost if you were one of the three thousand and change who got blowed up because a bunch of brainwashed Puerto Islamoricans got it up their asses that just because the cheaper-than-soda-pop oil our entire civilization runs on gurgles up in their back yards, then maybe they oughta be the bosses of us. As if.

    Seriously, take a moment and imagine that you were one of those poor ********ing bastards who worked in the World Trade Center, and make sure to hug your iPhones, TiVo, Crate & Barrel throw pillows, and SUVs extra tightly tonight. Because you never know when a great big jumbo jet full of screaming people is going to fall out of the sky and careen into your local Home Depot while you're shopping for interior latex to accent the crown molding in the third den of your new McMansion, the one with the mortgage you're going to default on any day now.

    On this holiest of holy days, this fortuitous gift from the political gods, just remember that the only thing that stands between our society and having to take responsibility for our actions, appetites, and lifestyle is my thunder-bolt shaped Zeus cock.

    I realize also that many of you have seen the video of a certain ethnic looking Voldermort mother********er named Oooh-Samma telling y'all to come to the Dark Side, and to reject democracy because it totally doesn't work. I know the question you want to ask: "When the hell did Jeff Goldblum grow a beard?" I want to state fair and square to those fringe critics of my policies, who include but are not limited to fat cat Washington pundits, Limousine liberals, and almost 70% of Americans polled, that going after Saddam Hussein for the crimes of September 11th is just like going after the Nazis because of the Holocaust. Saddam Hussein brought those towers down, and that's why we went into Iraq to destroy his invisible nukular bombs, so that the terrorists wouldn't invade Florida D-Day style. Got it? It's so simple. Just nod.

    When I recently visited the Iraqi province of Anbar, my first thought was "I sure am glad we landed here, and not that crumbling, bullet ridden death trap Baghdad!" When I visited Anbar, I was taken aback at how one man was able to tame Sunni tribesman, and turn them against the only people crazier than us Americans: Al Kada. He did this with the power of American Express, and promised those Sunni we'd stand by them as they inevitably go to war against the Shias who we've promised to stand by as they inevitably go to war against the Sunni, who we promised to... oh you get the idea. Then there are the Kurds, but they're so docile and nice, I call them "Dirt Canadians."

    The man who managed to purchase a momentary, tactical downturn in violence is none other than your future president, General David Petraeus. This dude is so badass. I mean, here's a guy who's served in the military and seen combat, and he's actually RUNNING this war! Like, you can't buy that kind of credibility. I mean, I should know, my dad tried with me! The good general told all them congressdudes that the surge is working; that we can draw the peeps down next summer, that while counterinsurgencies can last nine to ten years, this here conflict can become a stalemate eight to nine and a half years long. IS THAT NOT THE MOST FABULOUS NEWS EVER!!!!

    And so, on this day of loss I bring you news of victory: we shocked and awed them in order to destroy their weapons of mass destruction -- mission accomplished -- then we bravely fought them there, so we wouldn't have to fight them here, and I still believe that once the Iraqi army stands up, we will stand down.

    Until then my fellow Americans, and I'm more or less quoting General Petrolus:

    STAY THE SURGE!

    STAY THE SURGE!

    STAY THE SURGE!

    Thank you and God Bless.
     
  19. YankBastard

    YankBastard Na Na Na Na NANANANAAA!

    Jun 18, 2005
    Estados Unidos
    Club:
    AS Roma
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    President's Remarks Preceding Moment of Compulsory Silence Commemorating Annual Orgy of 9/11 Patrio-Grief

    THE PRESIDENT: Please be seated. This morning, I'd like to take a moment to remind everyone that today happens to be the day after the day after that formerly taut jailbait cheerleader slutwich Britney Spears zombie-danced like a Twinkie sponge cake with eyes at the MTV RINGTONE AWARDS. OMG, it was truly outrageous. I mean, did you see Puff Ditty making that horror movie "O" face? (Laughs.) Oh yeah, and today's also the sixth anniversary of that 9/11 thing.

    As such, I'd like for all of you to take a moment of silence in order to think about all that you would have lost if you were one of the three thousand and change who got blowed up because a bunch of brainwashed Puerto Islamoricans got it up their asses that just because the cheaper-than-soda-pop oil our entire civilization runs on gurgles up in their back yards, then maybe they oughta be the bosses of us. As if.

    Seriously, take a moment and imagine that you were one of those poor ********ing bastards who worked in the World Trade Center, and make sure to hug your iPhones, TiVo, Crate & Barrel throw pillows, and SUVs extra tightly tonight. Because you never know when a great big jumbo jet full of screaming people is going to fall out of the sky and careen into your local Home Depot while you're shopping for interior latex to accent the crown molding in the third den of your new McMansion, the one with the mortgage you're going to default on any day now.

    On this holiest of holy days, this fortuitous gift from the political gods, just remember that the only thing that stands between our society and having to take responsibility for our actions, appetites, and lifestyle is my thunder-bolt shaped Zeus cock.

    I realize also that many of you have seen the video of a certain ethnic looking Voldermort mother********er named Oooh-Samma telling y'all to come to the Dark Side, and to reject democracy because it totally doesn't work. I know the question you want to ask: "When the hell did Jeff Goldblum grow a beard?" I want to state fair and square to those fringe critics of my policies, who include but are not limited to fat cat Washington pundits, Limousine liberals, and almost 70% of Americans polled, that going after Saddam Hussein for the crimes of September 11th is just like going after the Nazis because of the Holocaust. Saddam Hussein brought those towers down, and that's why we went into Iraq to destroy his invisible nukular bombs, so that the terrorists wouldn't invade Florida D-Day style. Got it? It's so simple. Just nod.

    When I recently visited the Iraqi province of Anbar, my first thought was "I sure am glad we landed here, and not that crumbling, bullet ridden death trap Baghdad!" When I visited Anbar, I was taken aback at how one man was able to tame Sunni tribesman, and turn them against the only people crazier than us Americans: Al Kada. He did this with the power of American Express, and promised those Sunni we'd stand by them as they inevitably go to war against the Shias who we've promised to stand by as they inevitably go to war against the Sunni, who we promised to... oh you get the idea. Then there are the Kurds, but they're so docile and nice, I call them "Dirt Canadians."

    The man who managed to purchase a momentary, tactical downturn in violence is none other than your future president, General David Petraeus. This dude is so badass. I mean, here's a guy who's served in the military and seen combat, and he's actually RUNNING this war! Like, you can't buy that kind of credibility. I mean, I should know, my dad tried with me! The good general told all them congressdudes that the surge is working; that we can draw the peeps down next summer, that while counterinsurgencies can last nine to ten years, this here conflict can become a stalemate eight to nine and a half years long. IS THAT NOT THE MOST FABULOUS NEWS EVER!!!!

    And so, on this day of loss I bring you news of victory: we shocked and awed them in order to destroy their weapons of mass destruction -- mission accomplished -- then we bravely fought them there, so we wouldn't have to fight them here, and I still believe that once the Iraqi army stands up, we will stand down.

    Until then my fellow Americans, and I'm more or less quoting General Petrolus:

    STAY THE SURGE!

    STAY THE SURGE!

    STAY THE SURGE!

    Thank you and God Bless.
     
  20. FrankCasper

    FrankCasper Red Card

    Mar 4, 2005
    Re: Revisionist Posting

    Personally, I'd be more worried if there were discriminatory laws against naturalized British citizens becoming Prime Minister... hint hint.
     

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