Bad stories

Discussion in 'Referee' started by Law5, Oct 27, 2021.

  1. JasonMa

    JasonMa Member+

    Mar 20, 2000
    Arvada, CO
    Club:
    Colorado Rapids
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Maybe he should stop worrying about you and pay attention to the game
     
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  2. Gary V

    Gary V Member+

    Feb 4, 2003
    SE Mich.
    The instructor at our original cert class (yes, in person, way back then) told us this one.
     
    dadman repped this.
  3. Chaik

    Chaik Member

    Oct 18, 2001
    Club:
    Tottenham Hotspur FC
    Junior college game yesterday, I call a foul giving attacking team a free kick from 20 yards. Defender complains "but they still had possession!" Well, yeah, but one attacker is lying on the ground, in the way of the second attacker who regained possession after the foul, who also happened to be facing the complete wrong direction. Textbook advantage, I suppose.
     
    dadman repped this.
  4. the_phoenix612

    Manchester United
    United States
    Sep 13, 2022
    Houston, TX
    Defenders complaining that you didn't play advantage is my absolute favorite. The very fact that you're complaining about it means there wasn't advantage!
     
    superdave and Law5 repped this.
  5. MetroFever

    MetroFever Member+

    Jun 3, 2001
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    Croatia
    If you do this in our state, most of the assignors will likely not be giving you games with that specific team (and possibly the entire club) for a while. If it's a club with Academy teams, you are removing yourself from good matches and for the younger guys with hopes of advancing, you're sabotaging your own career.

    Calling the SRA would accomplish nothing and would refer you back to the assignor of that match....and probably some laughs in the background.
     
  6. soccerref69420

    soccerref69420 Member+

    President of the Antonio Miguel Mateu Lahoz fan cub
    Mar 14, 2020
    Nat'l Team:
    Korea DPR
    It’s quite a silly proposition… some players cheer their coach being sent off you you immediately report it to the state referee administrator. The sky is falling
     
  7. RefIADad

    RefIADad Member+

    United States
    Aug 18, 2017
    Des Moines, IA
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    So how do you address the clear culture issue with the team and/or club? Because if we are going to effectively deal with the these types of issues, coaches ingraining the “referee is the enemy” mindset with a team sure seems like a low-hanging fruit type of item to get out of the game.
     
    IASocFan repped this.
  8. MetroFever

    MetroFever Member+

    Jun 3, 2001
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    Croatia
    The culture has existed for a while and none of us here is probably going to make a dent to change it. The event the referee mentioned is a U13 girls game who no doubt watch our USWNT and their behavior and see them as their "heroes".

    I know from your posts, your state has a different and more positive way of dealing with things. If you do that here, you are only drawing attention to yourself and become a conversation piece (instead of the match itself).
     
    Beau Dure repped this.
  9. soccerref69420

    soccerref69420 Member+

    President of the Antonio Miguel Mateu Lahoz fan cub
    Mar 14, 2020
    Nat'l Team:
    Korea DPR
    If I got really offended about that, I would just add it to the send off report and let the league administration decide if they want to contact the club to look into the issue. But like metro said, I’ve seen some other of your posts where you personally confront people who treat referees poorly, so maybe your state and/or your position allows you the ability to take more steps to deal with these problems
     
    frankieboylampard repped this.
  10. AZOldRef

    AZOldRef Member

    Chelsea
    United States
    Apr 5, 2021
    Semi of our U16G State playoffs, Red cruising up 4-0 with 5 minutes to play. I am AR1 on the Red side.

    Massive collision in the Red PA, Black striker goes down. From far away it was a tough call, couldn't see who got the ball first. Center pauses, AR2 waves Center over for a chat while Black player is getting looked at by the trainer.

    Red Coach starts fuming. "All Ball! No way that's a pen!" ALL BALL!" Dude is highly invested. This goes on for a while.

    I have no idea if the tackle was legal. You could maybe call excessive force even if it was shoulder to shoulder ... Black player was down for several minutes.

    After the discussion Center points to the spot for a PK. Now Red Coach is seriously pissed. Screaming at the top of his lungs. I say quietly, "Hey Coach, we get you disagree. You're winning 4-0 with a few minutes left. In the big picture what difference does it make? Maybe let this one go."

    Red Coach still irate. "I HAVE IT ALL ON VIDEO. I'M GONNA TALK TO [our SRA] RIGHT NOW!"
    Name dropping the SRA was odd ... he was very proud to throw the name around. Like we're supposed to crumble at the mere mention of [SRA]. Oh, in that case, let me change the call.

    Sigh.

    As the game winds down ... "BEFORE THIS IS OVER I WANT ALL THREE OF YOUR NAMES!"

    Uh, no. You can talk to the State staff if you're really interested.

    At final whistle he takes several purposeful steps towards the Center. I hustle over and cut him off. "Coach, you have a final tomorrow. Don't do anything that will prevent you from being there. I suggest you go back to the bench and celebrate with your team. Good luck in the final."

    We hustled back to the ref tent.

    Holy cow. That was the most extreme zero - 100 in five seconds I've ever seen.
     
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  11. Baka_Shinpan

    Baka_Shinpan Member

    Mar 28, 2011
    Between the posts
    Club:
    Vegalta Sendai
    Nat'l Team:
    Japan
    Ha. That reminds me of an average Sunday last Fall. I was AR2 on an adult match and the GK starts yapping about something trifling and notes that he’s going to call the assigner and implying that he’s buddy buddy with him. I just laugh and think whatever floats your boat. You go ahead and do that knowing full well that I have known the assigner for 10 plus years and he will ask my opinion on newer refs that he sends out on my games.

    Later that night I arrive to my UPSL game where I am AR1, we have two pretty good teams and the center is a national candidate and guess who AR2 is. Yep, the GK from earlier in the day doing his first ever UPSL match. @@

    We end up having a laugh but I told him that as a ref new to the area and who doesn’t even have a regional badge, he should probably refrain from name dropping refs and assignors until he has proven himself and gotten to know the other refs in the area.
     
  12. Dayton Ref

    Dayton Ref Member+

    May 3, 2012
    Houston, TX
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    I like how you turned the coach around after the game, but there needs to be some kind of sanction for what was done during the game. The three tiers of dissent discipline are
    • minor/low-level disagreement (by word or action) with a decision
    • dissent by word or action
    • deliberately leaving the technical area to:
      • show dissent towards, or remonstrate with, a match official
      • act in a provocative or inflammatory manner
    With a bonus of:
    • entering the field of play to:
      • confront a match official (including at half-time and full-time)
    My gut says yellow at threatening to go to the SRA, but at least a warning there. Maybe we avoid the yelling for your names, but that is a yellow card no matter what you file it as (dissent by word, acting in a provocative manner, or showing lack of respect for the game).
    We frequently have higher threshold for coach dissent at the youth level because 'It is just youth, they don't know any better.' But, they are the models for the youth, they should be expected to behave better than the professionals. They can claim, that it hasn't been a problem before, but that's like making slight contact with an opponent on a challenge in the PA, eventually a referee will determine that a foul occurred and call it.
     
  13. MetroFever

    MetroFever Member+

    Jun 3, 2001
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    Croatia
    I wouldn't expect you to say anything negative about your partner, but anyone who doesn't issue a caution (at the bare minimum) is doing the referee crew and all of us a disservice.

    It's irrelevant that it was a semifinal.
     
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  14. Law5

    Law5 Member+

    Mar 24, 2005
    Beaverton OR
    I agree, but....

    The fact that it is a semifinal is not a reason for the referee to do anything different. But it is a weapon for the referee to use, as AZOldRef did, to remind the guy that there are consequences beyond today.

    And screaming at the top of his lungs has to be a caution instantly. The idea that 'well, it's youth so the coaches don't know any better' is well in the past by now. This is a 'state semi-final.' At least in my neck of the woods, anyone coaching at that level has been a high level player themselves and is a paid coach.
     
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  15. Gary V

    Gary V Member+

    Feb 4, 2003
    SE Mich.
    Story re: "I'm going to report you!"

    The center got this from a coach, He replied fine, here's the contact for a league admin ...

    The coach said he didn't need any contact info - he knew who to report it to, Cindy (the assignor).

    Cindy is the ref's wife. I guess this was one case where the ref could find out if the threat to report was actually followed up. I'm guessing most cases, it's just an empty threat, no action.
     
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  16. soccerref69420

    soccerref69420 Member+

    President of the Antonio Miguel Mateu Lahoz fan cub
    Mar 14, 2020
    Nat'l Team:
    Korea DPR
    Personally, I wouldn’t be telling a coach something that’s basically “you’re winning 4-0 so who cares about this call”, would just leave it at “coach please control yourself/watch your conduct” something like that. Turning away a coach from a postgame confrontation is okay

    But leaving this game with this coach not receiving at the minimum one caution for dissent, either for his behavior during the game or attempts at it after the game, is unacceptable. Hell, he could have gotten two dissent yellows and let the unhinged maniac use his suspension as a time to reflect on his behavior in a children’s game.
     
  17. Pelican86

    Pelican86 Member

    United States
    Jun 13, 2019
    About 15 minutes into my men's league center this morning I turned to follow the play and felt a twinge in my hip/groin area. So I spend the rest of the match pretty much unable to run at any pace faster than a light jog. At halftime I ask the assignor (who usually watches most of the men's league games) if he has anyone who can cover for my AR stint on the next game. Nope.

    2nd half starts off a little chippy, but nothing too bad. Then, with about 10 minutes left, one team commits a foul. The other team doesn't like it, gets in the fouler's face, and the next thing you know it's my first ever men's league full-on brawl. Punches are flying. One guy kicks an opponent. After the teams are separated I talk to my ARs (the brawl was right in front of AR1) and I start showing the cards. Two reds for one team (one for punching, the other for kicking the opponent), a red and a yellow for the other (red for punching, yellow for the original foul). The kicker decides to kick another opponent on his way off the field, nearly setting off another brawl.

    I was going to restart the game (the team playing 10v9 was down one goal), but when I was ready to do so I look over toward the team areas to see the guy who kicked two people, and his opponent who punched someone, punching and kicking each other. Nope, we're done, y'all can go home now. I spend my break before my next game writing down the report. The assignor called the league president and I told him what happened. At a bare minimum per the league rules it should be two-game suspensions for all the sent off players. The league can also add on to that (and I'd hope they would given the post red-card misbehavior from multiple players).

    Then I had to "run" a line on the next game. Thankfully there weren't any close offside decisions and it ended in a lopsided win. Fortunately my hip is feeling okay just walking around, and I'm optimistic that a couple of days off from running should get me back to normal.
     
  18. Barciur

    Barciur Member+

    Apr 25, 2010
    Club:
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    Poland
    Just came back from a game that makes me sad.

    Was an AR2 for a U12 state cup game. It was posted yesterday as an open game and "need somebody for this". Round of 16 so need a winner. Turns out, center is a referee who works MLS matches. I have refereed for 12 years, I don't come close to his experience, but I am definitely more experienced than the average referee who gets those U12 games and younger...

    It was one of the most toxic games I have ever been involved in and the referee told me he thought he should have abandoned it and regretted that he did not. The kids were great, playing a fantastic game, some fouls, some wild slides, but nothing crazy. Until the parents were starting to ramp up the excitement. And yelling. And screaming. And both sides started to transmit the energy to the kids that became really toxic.

    The away fans got so loud and obnoxious the referee stopped the game and went over to the coach to tell him to calm them down. The coach just yelled across the field for them to stop. The R actually asked him to come over, not to just yell from across the field, and tell them that if they do not stop, the game will not be restarted. He just told him "oh they know, we've been through this before" :eek: great... how did that turn out?

    They calmed down for a little bit, but going forward, the pressure they were putting on the kids, the screaming for every call, handball, perceived fouls, imaginary offsides... it was just so obnoxious. And to make matters worse, it was 2-2 and this game needed a winner, so the emotions were running high. We went to ET, and that did not help. The home team was clearing the balls out for a throw with a lot of force, so the away fans were getting angry at how they "can't do this". That made them even more aggravated, but they actually delayed the game by throwing a ball onto the field in order to hasten the restart. The tension and stupidity in all of this was so crazy - all of that for a game played by 12 year old boys. Of course at the end of the game away parents were just yelling the most obnoxious things such as "you're the worst referee we've ever seen", "you're terrible you sold this game" etc etc. And the stuff I heard running the parents sideline throughout the game... just makes you lose brain cells.

    And I bet games like this happen everywhere, repeated many times over. And young referees, sometimes their first or second year, go to these games, get abused like this, do not know how to handle it, and they quit. They leave, because this is not enjoyable. And that really sucks, because adults in society act like this over something so trivial.
     
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  19. soccerref69420

    soccerref69420 Member+

    President of the Antonio Miguel Mateu Lahoz fan cub
    Mar 14, 2020
    Nat'l Team:
    Korea DPR
    Sounds pretty par for the course. The younger games you do, the worse the parents are. This happens over sports too, not just soccer. Well, high school rivalry games/playoffs with people in the stands are about as bad as youth can get actually.

    But your last paragraph is definitely the worst part. Even worse when it’s normal to have U12 and below as solo games. A newer ref being an AR on a U13-14 games will usually have a better and more positive experience than being a center in a u10-12 game.

    It wasn’t parent behavior but I remember soloing a u10 game a year back where some girl was a terror on the field and racked up what should have been two reckless yellows and a DOGSO red but only ended up with one yellow and me verbally kicking her out of the game. I was thinking about some poor first year teenage kid who would probably have to deal with that situation and be unable to and little girls would end up hurt
     
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  20. mathguy ref

    mathguy ref Member+

    Nov 15, 2016
    TX
    Club:
    Manchester United FC
    This last Sunday I was playing site coordinator for 4 fields, all club games between U13 and U19. Nothing at all is happening and I’m sitting under a canopy trying not to bore myself to death when I hear a hard whistle and see players in a U14B match walking to the benches and the referee talking to coaches. So I go over to figure out what is going on and sure enough it’s parents.

    These knuckleheads were about to fight each other over noisemakers. Seems Maroon was up 4-0 early 2H and those parents were using clickers and other mechanical noisemakers to celebrate goals. And of course White parents weren’t taking the drubbing and exuberance very well and wanted to fight over the noisemakers. So the R stopped play, sent the kids to the bench and got the coaches involved.

    I get there and had to settle everyone down. I explained to White that the things yes are in fact legal so relax and watch your kids. Then I begged Maroon to win with a little less enthusiasm. And stood there to baby sit these idiots while play resumed.

    Not 30 seconds later White scores out of nowhere on a banger and Maroon parents start cheering and using their noisemakers while grinning like loons and I thought some White parent was going to come unglued.

    Knuckleheads.
     
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  21. Dayton Ref

    Dayton Ref Member+

    May 3, 2012
    Houston, TX
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    That is some expert level trolling and I'm here for it.
     
  22. El Rayo Californiano

    Feb 3, 2014
    Yeah, respect.
     
    JasonMa repped this.
  23. Law5

    Law5 Member+

    Mar 24, 2005
    Beaverton OR
    Had a routine youth tournament game, U-12 or 13 boys, IIRC. In the last minute, one team takes a shot from maybe 15 yards out that is headed for the goal. My watch beeps and I hit the whistle. "No goal!" Coach yells "Ref! The ball was in the air!!!" I gave him the chin down stare, not saying a word. He says, "Oh. I get it." I think I just smiled. The shot would have made the score 11-0.
     
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  24. Dayton Ref

    Dayton Ref Member+

    May 3, 2012
    Houston, TX
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    It would seem that a number of referees did not realize that next week is finals week and they needed to study, not referee games. I've gotten 2 emails in the past 12 hours that say something like, "Due to referees not managing their availability correctly, I have quite a few holes to fill. Please let me know if you are available."

    Meanwhile, I have an NPSL game missing 1 AR and 4O. Not hopeful about who else gets assigned at this point.
     
  25. the_phoenix612

    Manchester United
    United States
    Sep 13, 2022
    Houston, TX
    I may or may not have aggressively scheduled myself on Saturday with intentions to do a 5:00pm U19B game and then a 7:45 NPSL game 30 minutes away...

    Thankfully my NPSL assignor is wiser than I am and took me off the NPSL whistle.

    Moving President's Cup finals here last-minuteish is really putting strain on our resources.
     

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