I read this thread and the ref shortage thread and i swear i am <this> close to just refusing to do a dual in high school or run a short crew in ussf (for 11v11). Given that people have literally lost their minds, now doesn’t seem the time to be in a set up to not be able to do a great job in a game, now doesn’t seem to be the time to have an even worse ratio of us vs them. It will probably be infuriating to my assignor and I’ll probably work less but the degradation of our experience has to stop somewhere.
Tournament last weekend ... I am walking to my field before my match. As I'm walking by another match in progress I hear two parents (they're on the west touchline, AR is on the east). "He's off! He's way off! That's gotta be offside!" A goal is scored by the attacker on the play. Center awards the goal. Now the parents get ugly - "Hey center, you gotta step in there. You gotta overrule on that call. AR doesn't know what he's doing. You gotta call that offside!" Center (an adult) goes over to the AR (probably 14-16) for a brief chat, points to the center circle again to give the goal, and play restarts. Parents grumble loudly and then sit down. Two things for me - Hey parents, it's never ok for adults to yell at kids. Maybe the play was offside, maybe it wasn't. But it's not your job to yell. You want to be involved, take the test and grab a flag. Otherwise, shut up. The fate of the next World Cup is not hinging on this U13B match in a minor tournament. Hey center, stick up for your younger / inexperienced ARs. At a minimum that should have been a discussion with the coach for a warning. For the "AR doesn't know what he's doing" comment I would have made the coach eject the parents. We have enough problems with ref shortages, nonsense like this doesn't help. How is that kid going to feel good about coming back? STICK UP FOR THE NEWER / YOUNGER FOLKS. Sigh.
Nothing worse than a center who doesn’t shut down parents and coaches abusing a teenage ref. I was recently running line on a higher level U19 game. I was AR1, center was a guy who also apparently coaches HS and AR2 was a teen. Home team coach was riding AR2 about an offside. I tell him to stop. Visiting coach then pipes up about an offside call and when I tell him that’s inappropriate, he gets argumentative. Center comes over and rather than warn him or caution him, he gives him the hey, I hear you, wink and a nod from a fellow coach, and not only fails to put a stop to inappropriate behavior, ends up encouraging it. The further irony is that the coach complained that my telling him to behave was “unprofessional” and that this was a high level competition that was supposed to be professional. After the game, I asked the center if he had recertified for 2023 (he had the badge) and if so, was he not paying attention to USSF stressing training on inappropriate behavior by coaches. He claimed ignorance.
I have no doubt he was ignorant of it. We do the best we can to support the referee's into making correct decisions, but as the adage goes, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink." I once told a referee that, while the ball was out for a throw-in, a player looked at and stomped on an opponent lying on the ground. The referee gave a yellow. After the game, when I asked why, he said I hadn't communicated that it was a red card. I wanted to yell, "I didn't say accidentally stepped on!"
Ask a parent who tries to confront a youth official “how would you feel if one of your teammates parents confronted your kid after they missed an open goal and told them how bad they are”
To be fair i do see this issue (young ref getting dissent) as a balancing act. If they call me over, i will do what they ask: always in my pregame I will tell AR1 to please do ask and tell, and if they call me over I am ready to dismiss no questions. If it is something that i hear or see and i want to deal with it, I will always go to the AR first and see how they want such a thing to be handled: sometimes they are shy and relieved that i will address it, sometimes they find such a thing trivial and embarrassing if i escalate, sometimes they want to manage themselves. I think it is good to support, but also not emasculate or remove agency.
Sorry, but you shouldn’t be putting that onus on the young referee. If you see or hear dissent from a parent or coach that is directed at the young AR, put an immediate stop to that. It can be as simple as drawing a line of “Coach - no more. We are not going to behave that way today.” Putting the onus on the young referee further puts the spotlight on them.
Yeah, apparently I can’t get the eye roll emoji to work on here. Yes, he was ignorant of it or more likely simply didn’t care which was what his body language conveyed after the match. I made sure to make a big deal about it to him more for the younger AR’s benefit than for his. The kid was probably 17 or 18 and much more open to feedback than this 40 year old coach/ref.
I think the keyword was “emasculate”, indicating a tough-guy approach to refereeing. Fine for the old “alpha” centers, but less helpful to young ARs who may not feel a desire to prove their valor on the youth soccer battlefields.
Letting an abusive coach (or parent) go on without engagement from the center is not emasculating towards an AR. It’s called proper game management and has nothing to do with being “alpha” or go along get along. Also, if you see or hear someone abusing your AR, you can or atleast should be able to read the situation to know whether your AR is confident enough to effectively manage the situation on his or her own. If they are, great, they are assisting you with managing a game. But at the same time, ultimately a coach or parent’s behavior will have a negative effect on the game and it’s incumbent upon the referee to minimize that through effectively addressing and putting a stop to such behaviors.
IMHO, a lot depends on the level of misconduct and whether that falls within the “manage” range or is in the “sanction” range. (And we get to the sanction range a lot faster with youth ARs.) if it is the sanction range, the R has to intercede, as he’s the only one with authority to sanction. If it is in the manage range, the. It really depends on reading the coach and the AR. There is a big difference from a 17 year old AR who has been doing it for a few years and a 13 year old in the first season. I’m going to err on the side of shutting it down.
To be sure. But in general, i prefer empowerment over paternalism. The young people I have worked with seem to prefer it as well.
i don’t think this completely works anymore. “Tell” has (more or less) been replaced with a caution. And only the R can do that. You can!t send off for second cautionable offense if the first one isn’t cautioned. (I know there is debate on this, but at youth levels I love cards for coaches—they may not always understand and a “tell,” but the card is completely unambiguous and everyone else knows what happened and that the behavior is unacceptable.)
Do teenage referees look at emails? We had a relatively small tournament scheduled for today and tomorrow. 62 games today, 41 Sunday. Thursday the parks and rec folks and the tournament director agreed to postpone it to April because of the weather. It rained Thursday, Friday and is still raining today (Saturday) as I type. Thursday I sent an email out telling all the refs the tournament is being postponed. Friday I sent another out, adding the dates of upcoming academy friendlies. This morning I get an email from a 15 year old referee who lives 45 minutes away saying he is "at the complex, it is locked, and no one is here." I checked the previous two emails and they were sent to the same address that he sent this morning's email from. I'm sure his parents were thrilled to find out they drove him here for nothing.
He only emailed you because his parents told him to. From his perspective, you might as well have sent that via telegram. His issue, but it is a real thing these days with that age. Email is not a form of communication checked as often. (With so much spam I'm not surprised.)
This sounds like a value added feature for assigning software? Something that sends you an up to date contact list of cell #s that you can use to send a broadcast text.
4 middle school game duals today. Figured it would be easy, low level play, $50 for a 50 minute game. Had to give three red cards. Two for a post game handshake fight, and then one right in front of me on the touchline when ball went out of play for a throw in and the kid just left his feet and did a two footed slide right at the other kid into his feet. Just unbelievable.
Should have said, Coupled with a reminder that what we need is the ref's info, IN ADDITION TO mom or dad who paid the fee. Assignment comms mediated through 3rd parties never pan out well.