Anyone been this close to becoming a Professional Footballer.

Mel B · Nov 11, 2004

Signed for Boro, Newcastle and Sunderland wanted me, played against Liverpool boys, Scored a hat-trick, photo took with Peter Beardsley, Mick Harford, Wilf Mc'Guiness. Tournament in Holland, for England, playing against Scotland, Holland, France, Germany. Zenden and Janker played, Zenden was shite. Beat Holland twice, 8 - 0 and 11 - 0. Not to worry though, i'm just interested if anyone else had a chance to make it.

Acronym · Nov 11, 2004

What happened? Pot?

Mel B · Nov 11, 2004

Acronym said:

What happened? Pot?
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Car bumper at 70 mph. Coma and ********, not to worry though.

Acronym · Nov 12, 2004

Good luck son.

Wingtips1 · Nov 12, 2004

Played for a year as a 14 year old with the Guingamp (France) youth. Was a D3 All-Region player, then went on to the PDL, spent time in the A-League before a busted hammy stopped the dream.

Mel B · Nov 12, 2004

Wingtips1 said:

Played for a year as a 14 year old with the Guingamp (France) youth. Was a D3 All-Region player, then went on to the PDL, spent time in the A-League before a busted hammy stopped the dream.
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Thats unlucky fella. Lifes a bitch and then you marry one.

Pazarius · Nov 12, 2004

Mel B said:

Car bumper at 70 mph. Coma and ********, not to worry though.
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And you managed to perform with the rest of the spice girls while in this coma?

Now that I remember the music, it all makes sense...

Mel B · Nov 13, 2004

Pazarius said:

And you managed to perform with the rest of the spice girls while in this coma?

Now that I remember the music, it all makes sense...
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Eh, what you on about. I was 12 at the time.

Taxi for Pazarius.
Tim Lovejoy.
Back of the net.
1 - 0.

Matt Clark · Nov 13, 2004

So, erm, tell us more about this England youth game in Holland that you won 8-0 ... that sounds amazing.

When Hell Unfreezes · Nov 13, 2004

Mel B said:

Signed for Boro, Newcastle and Sunderland wanted me, played against Liverpool boys, Scored a hat-trick, photo took with Peter Beardsley, Mick Harford, Wilf Mc'Guiness. Tournament in Holland, for England, playing against Scotland, Holland, France, Germany. Zenden and Janker played, Zenden was shite. Beat Holland twice, 8 - 0 and 11 - 0. Not to worry though, i'm just interested if anyone else had a chance to make it.
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I had a piss next to Bobby Moore in a pub loo once, nearest I got!

Mel B · Nov 13, 2004

Matt Clark said:

So, erm, tell us more about this England youth game in Holland that you won 8-0 ... that sounds amazing.
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Against Holland, i scored a couple and had a perfectly good header, ruled offside. I just think the officials were a bit pissed off because we were hammering the favorites.

We won the Sphinx Cup, held in Maastricht, Holland. The back end of May 89. Beat West Germany in the final 3 - 1. Whats written on the Cup is in Dutch. But here goes. Maastricht 27 - 28, Mei 89 vv De Heeg D - Toernooi. Is that alright Scouser or shall i nick you a video. Hey Hey Calm Down Calm Down

Mel B · Nov 13, 2004

When Hell Unfreezes said:

I had a piss next to Bobby Moore in a pub loo once, nearest I got!
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Thats class, i would have pissed on his leg.

MightyMouse · Nov 13, 2004

I got scholarships to play in three different colleges but in 1991 there was no league to shoot for and the grunge music wave was picking up steam. So I practised with Washington University's DIV II team for a while but I couldn't bring myself to go jogging at 6 AM every morning and leaving my female catch of the night in a warm college dorm room. So there went any chance at a career for footy and in came beer, the added pounds, and MLS years later to rub my nose in the poop. I support US soccer from top to bottom, I love this game even though I grew up with NFL and MLB left and right. I always thought soccer was a team chessmatch and that not just any idiot off the street can play it.

Mel B · Nov 13, 2004

MightyMouse said:

I got scholarships to play in three different colleges but in 1991 there was no league to shoot for and the grunge music wave was picking up steam. So I practised with Washington University's DIV II team for a while but I couldn't bring myself to go jogging at 6 AM every morning and leaving my female catch of the night in a warm college dorm room. So there went any chance at a career for footy and in came beer, the added pounds, and MLS years later to rub my nose in the poop. I support US soccer from top to bottom, I love this game even though I grew up with NFL and MLB left and right. I always thought soccer was a team chessmatch and that not just any idiot off the street can play it.
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Dude, if you had the chance to make it then why didnt you. No woman or beer would have got in the way of my career, just so happens i had a scap with a car. Unlucky.

Matt Clark · Nov 13, 2004

Mel B said:

AWe won the Sphinx Cup, held in Maastricht, Holland.
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Oh, right. So when you said "for England", you didn't actually mean you were playing for an FA England side, you were just the English club side in a club tournament featuring competitors from various nationalites. Shame, I thought you were talking about a real England game. An 8-0 tonking of a Dutch junior national side would have been quite some story to tell!

Is that alright Scouser or shall i nick you a video.
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A video? Where do you live, the Gateshead end of "Newcastle Brown Std"? We all moved on to DVD's ages ago, out here in the First World.

Mel B · Nov 13, 2004

Matt Clark said:

Oh, right. So when you said "for England", you didn't actually mean you were playing for an FA England side, you were just the English club side in a club tournament featuring competitors from various nationalites. Shame, I thought you were talking about a real England game. An 8-0 tonking of a Dutch junior national side would have been quite some story to tell!

A video? Where do you live, the Gateshead end of "Newcastle Brown Std"? We all moved on to DVD's ages ago, out here in the First World.
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It was a top Competition, Boudwiin Zenden and Carsten Janker both played. Janker scored an absolute beauty to put West Germany in the lead. But we came good in the end. Gateshead are still using Betamax, the numptys.

Matt Clark · Nov 13, 2004

So were Zenden and Jancker playing for PSV and Rostock youth respectively? And Jancker must have seemed HUGE to you then, given that you were 12 and he was 15. I mean, he's huge now, but was he the same as a kid? You must have been well pissed off to be made to play 15-year olds at that age. Didn't your coaches complain about that? I know I would have done. Brave of you.

subbuteo · Nov 13, 2004

I was (probably) very good when I was 12, too

Cap me, Bruce.

Matt Clark · Nov 13, 2004

And another thing - I've just realised you were talking about playing West Germany. But then you said it was May 1989. Carsten Jancker was, until November 1990, a citizen of the German Democratic Republic (or East Germany, as it was more commonly known).

nicephoras · Nov 13, 2004

Hey Mel B, are you related to Wildman, by any chance? Nephew maybe? I do hope he gives you pointes on finding sweet hot pvssy online.

Mel B · Nov 13, 2004

Matt Clark said:

And another thing - I've just realised you were talking about playing West Germany. But then you said it was May 1989. Carsten Jancker was, until November 1990, a citizen of the German Democratic Republic (or East Germany, as it was more commonly known).
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I'm not aguing. It was a under 12's comp. The managers had to submit an official team sheet. Germany's sheet had Carsten Janker on, i saw it myself. He is in the right age bracket, was very skillful, so i asume it was Carsten Janker. On the Boudwiin Zenden front. Masstricht was the town he was born in and he is also in the right age bracket. Jeez.

Mel B · Nov 13, 2004

Matt Clark said:

You must have been well pissed off to be made to play 15-year olds at that age. Didn't your coaches complain about that? I know I would have done. Brave of you.
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It was the same when i played Liverpool boys. I still scored a hatrick. My brothers are 6 years older than me, and when we played footy, i skinned there mates. Stop it now please. I do not have to prove myself to nobody. I have the Spinx cup. I have the photos. So please, go and hide somewhere you scouse twat. Theres a good lad.

Matt Clark · Nov 14, 2004

He is in the right age bracket, was very skillful, so i asume it was Carsten Janker.
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Well, I knew you were lying from the outset of course, but as clinchers go, this takes some beating ...

Eddie26 · Nov 14, 2004

Mel B said:

Dude, if you had the chance to make it then why didnt you. No woman or beer would have got in the way of my career, just so happens i had a scap with a car. Unlucky.
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I would scrap any career for a night with Lindsey Lohan and beer...though, she would need the beer, not me.

Mel B · Nov 14, 2004

Matt Clark said:

Well, I knew you were lying from the outset of course, but as clinchers go, this takes some beating ...
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Whatever.