Allegations, Investigations, & Bad Behaviors, Oh my!

FWIW I was able to read the Washington Post article without subscription on private safari on my iphone. Just a tip for those unaware.

 

You don’t hear it spoken about often, but do you think that players are subjected to similar behavior on the men’s side? Maybe not of a sexual nature, but verbal and physical? But they don’t speak out out of fear of being ridiculed and embarrassed for not being able to handle it? I have seen and experienced some brutally tough coaches on the men’s side as a player, but it was just sort of accepted and brushed off. If players were really miserable, they left.

 

This is not surprising to me. I've heard the rumors for years and I've witnessed the degrading behavior. None of my kids played at the Eclipse but I have nieces that have and many of my friends' kids have. I gave them a heads up to be careful and to listen to their kids and ask often how they're doing and if they were having fun. Most parents have a pretty keen sense of how things are going with their children if they listen to them closely and talk to them often. They'll know if something is up even if the child insists that everything is good.

All of this is a symptom of a larger problem and instances that are similar occur more often than is known. Perhaps the sexual abuse aspect isn't as prevalent as the article depicts but the degrading comments and mental abuse is definitely prevalent. Even the sexual comments and innuendos are probably more common than we want to admit.

What got us to this point is shown in the article. Kids want to do what they need to in order to get playing time and get promoted by the coach so that they can potentially be looked at by collegiate coaches. Parents are willing to turn a blind eye or not listen to their children so that they can get that elusive college scholarship. I have never understood that mentality. I would rather pay full price to a school than for my child to be faced with potential psychological issues due to what they faced at their club just for the sake of potentially getting some scholarship money. This is something that was created by club sports and what many perceive as a potential "payoff." The club coaches are aware of the power that they have over kids and families and they exploit that. Certainly not all coaches but far more than there should be. Even little mind games should not be tolerated. Soccer is not unique here. It happens in just about all sports.

This also points to the need for more women coaches in the club ranks and at the collegiate level. Let's look at the ECNL. If you were to look at coaches that are coaching girls' teams, you will see that there are few females. Some clubs do a better job than others but, in general, there is a lack of women in the field. There are some great male coaches out there that coach female teams but there are a lot of them that have no business coaching females - or anyone else, for that matter. Many men don't understand that females can't be coached the same as males. Even so, abusive behavior toward females or males has no place in sport. Nobody deserves to be degraded as is depicted in the article.

There is a lot of work to be done to make things right and we can do so much better.

 

Katie Naughton, a fellow native of Chicagoland and currently with the Houston Dash, had this to say last November. Katie works hard for the rights of the players in the NWSL and is a Players Association representative. She has worked countless hours working with and bargaining with the NWSL owners for better working conditions. It is worth noting that Katie played her youth soccer for the Sockers and not the Eclipse. So many parents in Chicagoland wrongly believe that to get to the next level, their child has to be in Oak Brook and at the Eclipse. The Eclipse is not the only game in town. There are other good clubs that can help get kids to where they want to be.

Listen to Katie and, in particular, what she has to say from about the 20 to the 40-second mark of the clip. She speaks of the power imbalance between the coaches and players that starts early on. Players are expected to obey and be respectful no matter what because of the position of authority that the coach has and the power that they have over the players. All of this is shown in the article about the Dames' situation.

Wanted to share video of @k_naughton24's remarks supporting proposed legislation re: workplace harassment called the EMPOWER Act — key provision would stop NDAs as part of employment. Video is in two parts. (@nwsl_players) #NWSL

(More on the bill: https://t.co/sKUK2TseWM) pic.twitter.com/e2Paqxs1Qe

— Meg Linehan (@itsmeglinehan) November 4, 2021

 

I never understood how a parent let their daughter play for Rory Dames and that is not even knowing about the sexual aspect. From the first time I was at one of his games recruiting, I thought the guy was an abusive a-hole. As you said @PlaySimple, the amount of parents who will look the other way for a soccer scholarship is appalling.

Also as you pointed out, these guys have no busy coaching little boys either. While this a women's college forum, we are also increasingly seeing how many sexual predators were enabled on the boys side of athletics as well not just in this country, but across the globe. We have spent too much time with our head in the sand on these issues.

Even ignoring these predators, we need to let young girls AND young boys know that being treated like crap in the name of "tough" coaching is not okay. You can have standards and ask a lot of your players without physical and emotional abuse. It is possible.

 

Tom Anagnost….

 

Many men’s sports teams support a culture of open homophobia. Hopefully that’s improving, but it’s been widely tolerated for a long time. I left my high school team after one year after, among other things, the coaches made us “run like f*ggots” — carrying another teammate on our backs — after a loss. I couldn’t even imagine speaking out at the time. That was late 90s.

 

Winwinchick is speaking above to why U Miami (Fl) terminated his contract, and then many posters on BS wondered why he was fired when he was doing so well at a school that had always been second tier. The answer: tirades and bad sportsmanship that parents got to see at games, and some of them complained... which (now I am guessing) may have produced tighter scrutiny by the university and they decided that winning games was not worth the potential emotional damage to players and the school's reputation.

 

Sadly there are many more like Dames at clubs across the country. The sexual abuse aspect may not be there with all of them but other abusive behaviors are and that is not OK.

As the current generation of youth players ages and move into the roles of coaching and all of that, I'm hoping that we will see a culture change.

There's a lot of chatter about this in the Chicagoland youth forum from about the middle of page 228

https://www.bigsoccer.com/threads/changing-landscapes-chicagoland.2037831/page-228

It was not mentioned in the WaPo article but apparently, a girl attempted suicide over how she was treated. This is really all sickening.

Many in the Chicagoland thread seem to think that the Eclipse should be thrown out of the ECNL and I would tend to agree. There are plenty of capable clubs that could take their place in the league. TBH, I always thought that it was strange that Chicago only had one ECNL club. The Sockers were about 10ish years ago but not since. It was Dames' political influence and sway in the league that kept other clubs out. It's all really disgusting and unfortunate.

 

There have been some hockey stories of sexual abuse against male athletes over many years (by coaches and staffers against youth and pro players). The Chicago Blackhawks are currently dealing with a very public situation regarding a staffer threatening a PRO player's career for sexual favors.

 

An investigation last year into historical abuses in the youth system in England identified 240 suspects and 692 survivors from 1970 to 2005 often at some top, top clubs. Unfortunately, more and more of this stuff is coming to light on the men's and women's side in so many sports all over the world. Too many examples of massive failures to protect children.

 

Allegedly of course, but I heard the AD found out on a Sunday afternoon in April that something very serious may have been discovered by players. Text messages were reviewed. The coach was fired on a Tuesday morning. No comments ever made by university or coach.

 

I think the big problem at the club level is how much power these club coaches have. They have parents crawling up their behind because they want their kid to get a scholarship at a top school to justify all the money they spent and too many college coaches are competing for the bum space trying to get club coaches to send players their way.

I don't know the solution to this one, but they definitely have too much power.

 

I know it’s easy to jump on the pile, but there are far more decent coaches (both in terms of teaching and being decent people) than you might think from reading the papers these days. Never an excuse to mistreat a player, but think about the number of clubs and coaches in the country. Are there a few that go unchecked? Absolutely. But the vast majority are good people that are now getting lumped in with the others.

Someone posted about needed more women in the club game. I don’t see a lot of women looking for jobs in the club game to be honest. Could be a variety of reasons. The travel and hours aren’t conducive to family life? They have better jobs than club by coaching in college? I’m sure there are other reasons too. With the current landscape, female coaches can pick and choose whatever job they want. But even some of them are unhappy. It isn’t a just a male coach issue. It’s a coaching issue in general and if it continues, the pool of coaches to choose from is going to wind up really small.

 

Club coaches are, and have been for some time, the power brokers in youth soccer - at least in terms of those following the collegiate path. They close doors before they were even open. They steer kids to programs that will look good for their club, not necessarily which is the best fit for the kid. How to fix it? As mentioned earlier, parents need to do what is right - but they don't. They need to be willing to potentially close a door to the promised land of college scholarship soccer - but they don't. They need to quit worrying about what other parents think - but they don't. They will wait until way down the line and say "oh yeah, me too, they did that to my daughter". And so coaches are allowed to carry on.

I agree however with the poster who said the majority of club coaches are trying to do what is right. They may have different methodologies and somewhat inflated ego's - but ultimately they want each kid to succeed. As is always the case, it is the dimwitted minority that casts a shadow.....

 

The new recruiting rules do take some power out of the club coaches hands. The college coaches can now reach out directly to the player/family without the club coach being involved. Before the recruiting rule change, the college coaches were at the mercy of the club coach to pass along interest in the player, then the player would call the college coach. The club coach held all the powere to deliver the message or not. I have heard college coaches say they are relieved that they no longer have to go through club coaches to reach a player.

 

Don’t the new rules make it more difficult? In the past, college coaches could reach out to players as Sophs and players could call them at any point. Now coaches need to wait until Junior year, although they could reach out to club coaches sooner. Plenty wrong with early recruiting, but it gave college coaches direct access to the players sooner, which eliminated the club coach.

 

My experience as a former club coach is the exact opposite of what you are saying. We used to try and steer kids where they would play and get a good experience. It reflects poorly on a club if kids are constantly transferring or sitting on the bench of a big name school. The problem isn’t clubs pushing kids to big programs. It’s parents (and kids) that don’t want to listen and try to jam a square peg into a round hole. They overshoot their ability level and wind up unhappy. I can’t tell you the number of conversations I had when I was coaching club where parents didn’t want to hear it. They wanted to go where they wanted to go, advice be damned.

 

No. The new rules say that college coaches cannot make offers before June 15 after their sophomore year. They cannot talk to a prospect AT ALL either, even if the prospect calls them. They cannot tell a club coach to pass along their interest either. So on June 15th, everyone is in the same boat. Ready, set, go. Call the kid directly.

Previously, the only way college coaches could talk to young recruits was if the recruit CALLED THEM. So the way to make that happen was to have the college coach ask the club coach to relay a message to have the players call them. That was how early recruiting worked for top players. The club coach acted as the agent between player and college coach.