All-Purpose Soccer Parents Thread

Discussion in 'Youth & HS Soccer' started by becomingasoccermom, Apr 15, 2020.

  1. sam_gordon

    sam_gordon Member+

    Feb 27, 2017
    First, if a kid is that good, it will come out in practices and games. You said he's already on the team, right? Surely they'll have some practices and possibly even friendlies before the season starts.

    Second, the next highest scorer where? On the team? So what? In the league? How do you know? If they're posting scoring stats from every team, then the coach already has the information.

    Once again, let the coach coach. You get your son to and from games & practices, cheer him on during the games, encourage him, and kick the ball around with him. That's your role.
     
  2. sam_gordon

    sam_gordon Member+

    Feb 27, 2017
    My time in youth soccer ended last weekend with DD's final game. The tournament didn't go the way we wanted (red card 15 minutes into game one w/2 game suspension, broken nose in 2nd half of game two, girls not showing up after that, but we did end with a a tie), but there's nothing new there.

    There were actually more tears after that final game (parents and players) than after graduation. Many of these girls have been playing together for up to 10 years, and the majority of the team has been together for at least five. I think only two are planning on playing in college. A third might walk on.

    I'm not sure it's totally sunk in yet. DS is still playing in college and an amateur league over the summer, so I'll still get my "fix" for another couple of years. But it's going to be strange only dealing with one set of games at a time.

    It's been a hell of a ride.
     
  3. bigredfutbol

    bigredfutbol Moderator
    Staff Member

    Sep 5, 2000
    Woodbridge, VA
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    My post reads harsher than intended.

    I just mean--the coach might get a little something out of the information, but it wouldn't be worth the likely awkwardness of bringing it up. That's all.
     
  4. bigredfutbol

    bigredfutbol Moderator
    Staff Member

    Sep 5, 2000
    Woodbridge, VA
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    It's really bittersweet when you can see the end coming (which it always does). I hope you're able to fully enjoy what's left.
     
    Fuegofan, CornfieldSoccer and sam_gordon repped this.
  5. CornfieldSoccer

    Aug 22, 2013
    It sounds like your daughter had a good run and had fun. That's about as much as we can hope for.

    I'm now five years removed from the end of watching my older son run years of cross country and track and I still miss it, I realized when I went to watch the son of one of my wife's friends run at a college meet a few weeks ago. Great memories, no matter.

    I'm hoping for at least one more season from my college-soccer son but there are never any guarantees. I only hope that, when they're both done, they can look back on that part of their lives and feel good about the experience and the memories.
     
    sam_gordon and bigredfutbol repped this.
  6. CornfieldSoccer

    Aug 22, 2013
    I'd add that, were I the coach, I'd cringe if a parent did that and likely do my best to avoid that parent going forward.

    Not to be too blunt, but if I have learned nothing else in my many years of youth sports parentdom (in which I have made many mistakes), I can say with great certainty that it's best not to be that parent.
     
    CoachP365, bigredfutbol and sam_gordon repped this.
  7. NewDadaCoach

    NewDadaCoach Member+

    Tottenham Hotspur
    United States
    Sep 28, 2019
    If I were coaching and assessing players I would like to know some things. Who's good at defense? Who's good at scoring? etc. I would also like to see video footage of their recent games. Not a big deal if I didn't have this information but it would add some color to the assessment.
     
  8. sam_gordon

    sam_gordon Member+

    Feb 27, 2017
    Didn't you say your son is already on the team? The coach will do his assessing at practices and throughout the season. It's very possible he's already talked to other coaches about specific players.

    This is U10 soccer. Stats don't mean a lot, INCLUDING "Goals scored". There are too many other variables including the quality of the opponents and the quality of the teammates. If someone told me "Johnny had 10 more goals than everyone else", first, I'd be questioning why a parent felt I needed to be told that. Second, I'd wonder if little Johnny was a "ball hog".

    Last but not least, what exactly do you want the coach to do with this information? You want him to start/play your son more? Play him in a certain position (which is ironic, because didn't you ask not that long ago about asking the coach to play him in different positions)?
     
    Fuegofan, Pete. and bigredfutbol repped this.
  9. NewDadaCoach

    NewDadaCoach Member+

    Tottenham Hotspur
    United States
    Sep 28, 2019
    He is in the group of all kids born 2014. U11

    They will form 4 teams out of the group.

    I would not think Johnny was a ball hog. I would think he's a good finisher. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

    Well if a kid is the highest scorer, on the top team, for 3 years in a row, that would tell me something and where he might fit and his skill level and skill set. Not saying it's super important, but I also don't think it is irrelevant. But anywho I probably won't say anything.

    At what age does it mean something? Surely at some age it does...
    age 12? age 16? age 18? age 21?
     
  10. NewDadaCoach

    NewDadaCoach Member+

    Tottenham Hotspur
    United States
    Sep 28, 2019
    @CornfieldSoccer @sam_gordon @bigredfutbol
    If you are forming a baseball team, would you want to know the players batting averages, on-base percentage, ERA for pitcher?

    If you are forming a basketball team, do you want to know how many points each player scored in the recent season and how many assists and blocks and steals and rebounds and 3 pointers?

    If you are holding football tryouts, do you care how many touchdowns a QB threw, how many interceptions, how many yards a running back ran?
     
  11. CornfieldSoccer

    Aug 22, 2013
    I promise I'm going to let this go after this post, but when they're 9? Nope. I would not care about any stats a parent insisted I needed to see (or from any league or prior team, or video -- seriously, they're 9). But I would have serious doubts about the parent and serious reasons to steer clear of that parent going forward.

    Let the coach coach. Or, if you must, choose to do it yourself.
     
    Fuegofan, bigredfutbol and sam_gordon repped this.
  12. sam_gordon

    sam_gordon Member+

    Feb 27, 2017
    To answer your questions,

    1) Stats start to matter in club ball MAYBE in U15. In school ball, MAYBE in MS, but probably in HS, but only if they do a "golden boot" award.
    2) I'm not a coach, but previous year's stats don't a difference, ESPECIALLY at the ages you're talking about (sorry for taking a year away from your son). Again, there are too many variables that can affect stats.

    Much more important, IMO, is are they good students of the game, do they respect teammates and coaches, do they build up teammates or tear them down?

    Still wondering what decision you want the coach to make based on having the goal stats that he can't make based by watching practices and games on his own.
     
    Fuegofan and CoachP365 repped this.
  13. NewDadaCoach

    NewDadaCoach Member+

    Tottenham Hotspur
    United States
    Sep 28, 2019
    U11, not many are 9

    Anyways, at what age then?
    MLS Next starts soon
     
  14. CoachP365

    CoachP365 Member+

    Money Grab FC
    Apr 26, 2012
    When I was coaching that age what I wanted to know was " who has played travel before vs who is coming over from rec; who plays other sports/waht are the sports; who watches soccer - do they like a specific team have a favorite player? "

    None of the parents gave me stats.

    it was a pretty good predictor. Kids who watched and had a favorite player turned out to be the better players/player longer into HS collegiate club soccer, even if they were coming from rec, over kids who had done 2 years of travel but didn't really watch soccer.
     
  15. sam_gordon

    sam_gordon Member+

    Feb 27, 2017
    What information do you want the coach to get about your son that wouldn't be visible in practice and games? If you son is that much of a stud, shouldn't it show on it's own?
     
  16. NewDadaCoach

    NewDadaCoach Member+

    Tottenham Hotspur
    United States
    Sep 28, 2019
    In the short term it is difficult to assess kids. You need a couple months ideally. So much can happen in soccer. Its hard to get a clear picture in a short period, imo.
     
  17. sam_gordon

    sam_gordon Member+

    Feb 27, 2017
    Sorry, that doesn't answer the question. What do you want the coach to do with your information?

    And I also disagree to an extent. Within a couple of practices, and after two games, a coach should be able to see who his better players are.
     
  18. NewDadaCoach

    NewDadaCoach Member+

    Tottenham Hotspur
    United States
    Sep 28, 2019
    You can see who is "better" in general.
    But not in terms of positions necessarily. Because you should be rotating them and they need to time to show their stuff, not just a few touches here and there.

    Well if I were a coach, it would be a piece of information, it would not be the whole puzzle. It's just a bit of information to create a more complete picture of a player.
     
  19. saltysoccer

    saltysoccer Member

    Tottenham Hotspur
    United States
    Mar 6, 2021
    If a kid is scoring tons more than the next leading scorer because he's really that much better than everyone else, it tends to make itself apparent in a very short time in practices alone—the coach just needs to watch the player against his own teammates. By comparison, last year's stats against unknown opponents are almost meaningless.

    If you're talking about coachability, motivation, etc., then that could take time, although I can't imagine it taking months. But again then that has almost nothing to do with his stats from last year...
     
    CoachP365 and sam_gordon repped this.
  20. CornfieldSoccer

    Aug 22, 2013
    Apologies for shorting him a year. But the my answer still applies. They're 10. Who scored the most goals last season is meaningless. Honestly, I'd look at Coach P's post above for a solid answer to your question.

    I know a community college coach -- good coach, good program -- who has mentioned that he's pressured to recruit locally and that pressure sometimes takes the form of suggestions that he should take a hard look at this player or that player who is scoring buckets of goals in high school soccer. Per the coach, scouting those players usually reveals that the those players score the vast majority of their goals against teams that basically can't play. Scouting them, he's said, generally makes obvious that those players would be of no use to his teams.
    So what do those stats, recorded for 16,-, 17- and 18-year-olds tell him? Not much.

    As has been mentioned above, if your son has ability, it will show. Some coaches may frustrate you in what you think they don't see -- believe me, I've been there -- but a bunch of stats for 10-year-olds won't reveal much of anything.

    Now I really am done here.
     
    Pete. and saltysoccer repped this.
  21. NewDadaCoach

    NewDadaCoach Member+

    Tottenham Hotspur
    United States
    Sep 28, 2019
    Scoring doesn't mean you are better necessarily.

    It means you are a good finisher. It doesn't mean good per se. The best player might be a defender or a midfielder who doesn't score a lot.

    I don't see the point in starting an assessment from scratch if you have some background info readily available. But also you're right its not that big of a deal.
     
  22. NewDadaCoach

    NewDadaCoach Member+

    Tottenham Hotspur
    United States
    Sep 28, 2019
    It depends on the position. If you are scouting a forward then you would want to see goals and assists.

    Some coaches only look at technical ability regardless of position. I want different qualities based on the position they are playing. Certain positions require more running, some require more heading, some require more scanning (eg center mid).
     
  23. RealChicago

    RealChicago Member

    Real Madrid
    United States
    May 21, 2018
    Stats at U11 mean close to nothing. Many kids at this age who score buckets of goals do so because the competition is weak, they had a growth spurt early, or they aren't the ones picking the flowers during the game, U11 is still 9v9. Sure, at U11 you can see potential in a kid, but I have seen it many, many times that these high performing good athletes move on to another sport, or when they get older, their lack of technical ability outpaces their younger growth spurt or athleticism. Unless the kid if a natural born baller, and I mean super skilled for his age, U11 isn't telling me much as a coach. Main things I'd be looking for at U11 is coachability - does this kid take direction well, is his effort good, and does he have some technical ability.

    No, you should not relay stats to a coach, or generally get in his way, don't be that guy. He knows what he's doing, and if he doesn't, move to another club.
     
    tobu, kinznk, CoachP365 and 1 other person repped this.
  24. sam_gordon

    sam_gordon Member+

    Feb 27, 2017
    Again, YOU. ARE. NOT. THE. COACH.

    It really doesn't matter whether you'd want to know or if you'd watch videos of 9yos (previous seasons) to figure out a player's strengths.

    You said you're at the same club. Do you think this year's coach may have talked to last year's coach?

    You asked the question, the answer (from coaches and parents) has been a resounding "No, don't be that guy", and you keep trying to justify it. So, go ahead, tell the coach that your son has outscored his teammates for the last three years. While you're at it, make sure you send him an email with who the starting lineup should be and what formation to play.

    As far as some positions "requiring more heading", I thought heading wasn't allowed until U13 nationwide.
     
    Fuegofan, CoachP365, Hefty CB and 2 others repped this.
  25. saltysoccer

    saltysoccer Member

    Tottenham Hotspur
    United States
    Mar 6, 2021
    IIRC it's limited practice and allowed in matches at U12 to U13. No heading at U11 and for 10 and younger playing up in any age division.
     
    sam_gordon repped this.

Share This Page