All-Purpose Soccer Parents Thread

I thank you all so much for this discussion. We're all in this together and the similarities in developmental challenges makes me realize that I'm not alone and that my son isn't any different. It's a needed reminder.

 

Happy New Year everyone! I wish much success for you and your kids.

 

An indoor team asked my kid to play as a sub/guest. He's not formally on this team.

The level of players on this team was very low. Mostly beginners.
My kid got a lot of minutes as he was the only one who could score. But boy was it frustrating to watch. I just don't enjoy watching my kid play with beginners and I am not sure how valuable that is for him. There was no one playing defense and the goalie just stood there.

(He's still on his comp team which is going well)

I'm not sure if it's worth him subbing for this rec team. It's just so hard to watch, I want to blurt out instructions to the team but I can't. It reminded me of why we left rec.

But it's extra touches he otherwise wouldn't get so in that sense I figured why not.

Maybe I should form my own indoor team that we keep going year round, the problem is the kids we know are doing various things in addition to soccer (eg baseball) so the attendance would likely be hit and miss. But maybe that's ok if we just form a just-for-fun team and not take it too serious.

 

Simply do not go to the games. Ask the person who invited your son if they can pick him up because it does not fit your family schedule, but your son would like to play. This gives your son space to make the game his. Hopefully he has friends on the team and that makes the outing more about friendship than soccer, but he still gets in his touches.

Each spring for years, my boys where asked to quest play with lower level club teams at a tournament at a beach community. They always had friends on these teams and would go with one of the friends family, my wife and I rarely went. They would spend the long weekend playing soccer, hanging out at the beach with friends. It gave my boys a break from the theirs parents and vice versa. They always had fun, I stopped asking about the soccer. This tournament was usually one of the last of the spring season, after my sons teams where done playing or there was small break. There are a lot of kids who love to play, the just do not develop into good players for one reason or another.

Your son is still young, but to be successful, he has to make the game his, not yours, not your families, not his coaches. It's him and the ball, then him and his teammates.

It is fun to watch, that is our pleasure as parents

 

Thanks but he doesn't know anyone on the team. And I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone taking him there without him or his mom, he's too young. Maybe in a couple years.
I could drop him off there and go run an errand and come back though.
But I love to watch him play. Just hard watching the rest of the team.
But he's getting to dribble a lot. I think that works on valuable skills.

Maybe we'll just go occasionally and not stress it too much.

 

There's your answer. What does HE think about this team? Does he have fun? If he doesn't know anyone on the team, does HE really want to keep playing with them or is he doing it because YOU want him to?

Sure, extra touches on the ball are good, but, IMO of course, development isn't going to happen without challenges, at least not significantly.

 

I don't know if he'll still want to play with them. Probably won't be his first choice but he prob won't say no.

The other team was better than ours. So he was challenged by the other team. They had decent defense he had to contend with.

 

I wish I could show you his highlights. He made a couple amazing goals. I don't really want to post it publicly though

 

Tryouts are in May. All the clubs here have them on literally the same days. Wth. Is this intentional so kids can't tryout at different clubs? Or is it just coincidence?
We'll prob stay at same club but I kinda feel obligated to at least explore a couple other clubs for due diligence, as we didn't do that last season.

 

That's always been a bone of contention with me. Many clubs will also announce their results the night of (or day after) their last tryout day and only give you 24 hours to commit (ie: pay a deposit if not the whole thing).

The other part of me says they're simply not coordinating ahead of time. Some clubs have more than one try out day for teams. That might let you go to other clubs.

I really wish area clubs would get together, designate a two week "try out period" and coordinate among themselves who's holding tryouts on which days. Two weeks would get you at least 15 tryout "sessions"/times (assume one each evening M-F, three on Saturday (morning, afternoon, evening), and two on Sunday. Then every club posts their selections on day 16.

If you try out for three clubs, REALLY want club A, but Club B is your "safety", if Club B is popular and announce their team before club A does and wants you to commit, you may make club A, but need to commit to Club B before you find out the results to A.

Still believe clubs are in it to develop kids?

 

Thanks that's a good approach. I just need to keep telling myself to focus on the reps he's getting. He's getting to dribble a lot and shoot which I can't say is a bad thing.

 

I hear a lot of parents on other teams yell "be an option!"
Did this become trendy at some point? I must have missed it.
I guess it's the new "get open!"
I mean, I guess it's not the worst saying. Yes, it's good to "be an option". But also it does get kind of annoying to hear, not sure why, maybe because I'm just not used to it and no one on our team uses the phrase.

 

For our HS team, mine was "keep it simple!"

 

Levels of play too - although I was surprised this weekend at a showcase when the opposing coach kept yelling to his team to "send it!" - which usually is limited to travel soccer and lower level HS.

 

"Get the ball off your foot!"

 

I used to always yell "Find feet!" - then, inevitably when the pass went to the other team, "Your own team's feet!"

 

I picked up one from a coach both DS & DD had...

"We're in blue <insert appropriate color>... have been the whole game."

 

Just some random ramblings...

So DS' HS had their "signing day" yesterday. All the athletes who are committing to a college/university to play their sport got a chance to do a thank you speech, sign their letter of intent, and get pictures with family/friends teammates.

It's starting to sink in. We're coming up on the end (more on that in a moment) of something that has occupied much of our time for 15(!) years. It has been an interesting ride. We've been on good teams as well as bad. We've had good coaches/teammates as well as bad. We played in an international tournament (in Spain), we played at Disney's Wide World of Sports, he got to play in Germany and Pulisic happened to be on the same flight with his ODP team.

We've met many wonderful parents (and some not so wonderful ones). We've experienced good referees and terrible referees. We've seen DS have outstanding games and some that you just want to erase from your memory.

I remember when he started playing select hoping he was good enough to contribute to his HS team. As he kept growing and progressing, I was hopeful he'd find somewhere to play in college. Part of his thank you speech yesterday mentioned his continued desire to play professionally and I really hope it happens for him.

I know this really isn't "the end". He'll play in college and he's going to be close enough that we can go watch the games. Hopefully road games are streamed so we can watch them.

Soccer has allowed him to grow and has taught him how to be responsible (maybe not as much as I'd like ) and treat others with respect. We have a lot of memories and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

For those of you on the "early" side of this ride, it's easy to get wrapped up in how "important" this game/tournament/team is. But believe me, it will all even out at the end. Even when things go wrong, they're learning. Take mental pictures of your child enjoying the game. Take mental pictures of them struggling. That's what makes them stronger.

Our youngest daughter still plays (travel & HS), for up to two more years, but her plans might change.

As I said at the beginning, this is just a ramble, it's just hard to believe we're getting close to the end (unless we win state, he's down to ~10 games left). I wish we had counted how many games he's played in his career. Rec, Select, ODP, Middle School, & High School.

If you've read this far, thank you (and sorry?) Enjoy the ride you're on with your kids.

 

Does anyone have an idea of the % of kids who tryout that actually end up on the team? Some kids will decide not to sign, and some may just not make the cut. So what % actually are accepted and decide to stay?

 

I was going to ask "what team", but I don't think it really matters. It's going to depend on each club/city/year.

We've been involved with teams that have had 80 kids tryout for the "top" team in that age group/club, they've named 18 with two alternates, and one alternate ended up on the team.

We've also been involved with teams that have had 13 show up for tryouts (for 11 v 11) and the teams are scrambling all year to have enough players.

Now, I fully believe tryouts are nothing but a formality. The coaches already know who they want on their team. They're looking at tryouts just in case there's someone who had a year off/moved into the area and is just a stud player.

 

Is this true in larger metro areas where a lot of players churn through clubs? We don't live in an that kind of area, so I don't know. At younger ages -- U11-U13 -- I do remember hearing complaints from parents of B-team players that their kids were stuck because coaches had decided that's what their kids were.

Re the question that led to this response, I'd agree that it depends on the club and the age group, and my son's been through different scenarios just about every year (50 or so try out, 24 are kept; 45 or so try out and 32 or so are kept in a pool that competes for first-team spots the rest of the year; 55-60 try out and everyone gets a spot on the A,B or C teams, ...).