15 minutes with parents of U11 teams!

Discussion in 'Referee' started by NHRef, Aug 27, 2007.

  1. NHRef

    NHRef Member+

    Apr 7, 2004
    Southern NH
    I have about 15 minutes before a "friendly" scrimmage to talk with the parents of two new U11 teams. Teams will be getting offside involved for the first time ever so the league asked me to come talk to the parents and kids before a friendly scrimmage which I will bring 3 refs to.

    If you had 15 minutes to talk to parents, what would you talk about? Remember I am suppose to explain offside and other stuff, what's the "other stuff" you would fit in?

    If you had 15 minutes with these folks, what would you talk about?
     
  2. ref47

    ref47 Member

    Aug 13, 2004
    n. va
    myths of the game. the ussf video is good, but you can explain them pretty quickly. "handball", high kick, playing on the ground, you fall it must have been a foul, etc. also, why everything is not called. and the most important, itootr.
     
  3. Claymore

    Claymore Member

    Jul 9, 2000
    Montgomery Vlg, MD
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    It will take the entire fifteen minutes to explain offside, and even then they won't get it. :p

    If you can fit it in, I'd try talking about how the game is for the kids, and that they, as parents, set the example for proper behavior.
     
  4. chrisrun

    chrisrun Member

    Jan 13, 2004
    Orlando, FL
    Club:
    Orlando City SC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    The biggest thing is that you can guarantee that the refs will make mistakes, and yelling at them will not make those mistakes go away. There will be bad calls, and both the players and the parents will have to just learn to accept them.
     
  5. Gary V

    Gary V Member+

    Feb 4, 2003
    SE Mich.
    You might mention that play is stopped for injuries, not boo-boos. At U11 they are just getting to the age where they sometimes have to suck it up and get on with the game.

    Deliberate handling, concentrating on the deliberate.

    Trifling fouls don't get called.

    You might broach the subject of advantage as well.

    For offside, first stress the 3 points of position - ahead of the ball, ahead of the 2LD, in the attacking half - and that all 3 must be there - but mention that it is NOT an offense simply to be in an offside position. If speaking to players, you can say that they will never be offside if they keep something between themselves and the goal line - the ball or 2 defenders or the half line. Then talk about involvement - interfering with play, interfering with an opponent, gaining an advantage - and note that only one of them is needed, but that one definitely is needed. Then note the official definitions of involvement, especially the part that gaining an advantage is so narrowly defined (i.e. gaining from a rebound).

    I think we're in triple overtime already.
     
  6. intechpc

    intechpc Member

    Sep 22, 2005
    West Bend, WI
    Club:
    Manchester United FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I agree with most of what's been said. First explain offside posisiton to them and that it's not an offense to be in that position. Then explain to them when the offside determination is made (I find this is the least understood part) and then finally mention the three options for involved in play. I wouldn't get into explaining those three options any deeper than ITOOTR because that is what will mire you in details for an hour.

    If after that you have time left, explain deliberate handling and how that call is made. Explain the other myths in brief (high kick, playing from the ground, etc).

    Then I'd say your closing remark is to remind them that they will encounter many young referees and that all referees will, as chrisrun stated, make mistakes and yelling about it isn't going to change anything. Damn now you have me thinking of how I could organize a quick rules clinic for the parents in our league.
     
  7. Gary V

    Gary V Member+

    Feb 4, 2003
    SE Mich.
    One more thought ... you might remind them that just as the players are still learning how to play, the referees are still learning how to ref. Cut them a little slack.

    If you can somehow tactfully remind them that U11 isn't high on the food chain ... so they won't be getting FIFA or National referees.
     
  8. Bill Archer

    Bill Archer BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 19, 2002
    Washington, NC
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I used to tell the parents that I had had undefeated teams that won championships and I had had winless teams and it was pretty much all the same to me. I told them that I intended to teach the kids what I thought they needed to learn and that if that went well enough they would win games and if it didn't then it wouldn't and if they couldn't live with that philosophy that they should go home and call the league registrar and ask to be moved to a different team.

    Then I told them that it was highly embarrassing and distracting for a kid to try and play while his father was on the sideline yelling at the referee and making an ass of himself. As a result, I intended to spare my players that embarrassment, so any time I thought a parent was being obnoxious during a game and abusing an official I was going to pull their kid off the pitch out of respect for his feelings.

    Finally, I told them that if they had any complaints or problems with how I handled the team that rather then stand around shooting their mouth off they were cordially invited to be an assistant coach, come to practices, stand with me on the sideline during games and I would let them participate in training as long as I didn't feel that what they wanted was completely stupid.

    It was hard to decide what was more amusing - the mothers smiling at me and nodding, or the fathers with stunned looks of disbelief.

    As for the rules, they can download videos and rules interps online any time, and most of them will do a better job than I can explaining the offside rule.
     
  9. macheath

    macheath New Member

    Jul 8, 2005
    DC
    I like Intertech's idea of telling them to be kind to younger refs later in the season, and maybe asking them to be proactive and keep other parents (of course, none of them!) calm in future games, even if there's something they disagree with. Also, this is somewhat like a pregame, so it probably needs to be pretty simple--so ITOOR, and offenses can be trivial and not called. Goal is to keep play fair, safe, and moving.
     
  10. gosellit

    gosellit BigSoccer Supporter

    May 10, 2005
    Find out when the next Grade 8 course is being offered in your area. Put together a flyer with the course info and pass out at the meeting. You may be suprised how many will take up the challenge.
     
  11. intechpc

    intechpc Member

    Sep 22, 2005
    West Bend, WI
    Club:
    Manchester United FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Geesh, around here the mothers are often times as vocal if not more so than the fathers. Fathers are usually the ones arguing offside calls and such while the moms gotta let you know every time little Tommy gets bumped by another player.
     
  12. refontherun

    refontherun Member+

    Jul 14, 2005
    Georgia
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    ....and referees don't have three weeks of practice before the season begins.
     
  13. NHRef

    NHRef Member+

    Apr 7, 2004
    Southern NH
    thanks everyone! It's tonight and I am about to head out of work to get ready. I will incorporate lots of the suggestions and let you know how it goes!!
     
  14. Yellowshirt

    Yellowshirt New Member

    Aug 21, 2007
    15 minutes to talk to parents? To relay the Laws?

    An exercise in futility.

    Tell them to cheer for their children and have and good time....they wil NEVER get this time back...enjoy your kids and what they do...end of story.
     
  15. NHRef

    NHRef Member+

    Apr 7, 2004
    Southern NH
    It seemed to go really well, we'll see as the season goes, here's what we ended up doing:

    - I brought three teenage refs, two where my sons and one friend, all grade 8's with experience from 2-5 years.

    - Sat all the kids AND parents AND coaches down

    - Travel coordinator for the town was there and stressed via introduction that we are doing this to help the kids and parents and coaches understand some things they haven't dealt with yet (prior to this year they where 6v6 teams, single ref, no offside). It helped that alot of the kids and parents knew the 4 of us.

    - Started with offside, pulled players from the crowd to demonstate:
    1) offside position
    2) needing to get involved
    3) ref signals and what we watch for
    4) DO NOT STOP WHEN THE AR FLAGS IT wait for the whistle

    - covered plays in a dangerous manner, why playing on the ground MIGHT be perfectly legal

    - handling (ie handball) and when its ok for the ball and hand/arm to come together.

    - when is contact not a foul. Basically I pulled two kids up, tossed a ball on the ground and told the kids to walk DIRECTLY to the ball to stand right infront of it, evntually they want the same space and this is a legal "contact". Then pulled up a BIG and SMALL kid and did the same thing and pointed out the little guy is probably going to get knocked down and even go flying, laws of physics and all and it isn't necessarily a foul.

    - went over IDFK v DFK and how to tell which without having to ask the ref.

    -then got into mistakes. Started with asking the kids how many have been playing soccer for more than 3 years. Most of them have. Asked if they ever make mistakes, they all said Ya. Asked parents/coaches if they get upset when the kids make mistakes, they said no (of course they don't :rolleyes: ). I then pointed out that they have been playing soccer LONGER than most of the refs they are going to get this season have been reffing, and if the players and coaches are still making mistakes, then they should understand that refs will too, so please cut them some slack. Everyone makes mistakes and while there may be some bad refs around, the refs ARE trained on the LOTG (16 hour course, plus a test, then 6 hours/year here in NH is required), the refs will understand the LOTG but they make mistakes, we all do. Many of them are teenagers and may be very inexperienced refs since you have to be 12 to be a ref and at this age, its all they can ref. so just be patient with them.

    There was, I think 2 questions during all this which I was a bit dissapointed in.

    they teams then played with 3 full refs for the first time, I had the refs call it VERY tight to get the kids use to seeing the signals. While the game went on, I wandered among the parents and coaches and to my delight, got about 10-15 more questions from parents and coaches.

    It went really well, lets just see if it has any effect.
     
  16. DC Braveheart

    DC Braveheart Member

    D.C. United
    Scotland
    Jan 2, 2001
    Oak Hill, VA
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    Scotland
    Brilliant!:) Though that post really belongs on the Coaches forum.
     
  17. DerbyRam54

    DerbyRam54 Member

    Apr 26, 2005
    This has given me food for thought. This is my first season coaching a U-14 boys team, and I have a meeting with the parents this coming Saturday, a week ahead of our opening match.
    I've had a number of talks with the boys about behaviour, what we expect from each other and what they expect from their parents. They are pretty unanimous in understanding why I don't want them yapping at the ref (leaving considerations of sporting behaviour aside, it breaks a player's concentration) and equally unanimous in wanting their parents to be quiet (some of them wanted total silence!).
    I think it was the former Leicester City manager Mickey Adams who had a rule for parents back in the days when he coach youngsters. They had a choice of two things they could shout: "well played!" or "good pass!".
     
  18. DC Braveheart

    DC Braveheart Member

    D.C. United
    Scotland
    Jan 2, 2001
    Oak Hill, VA
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    Scotland
    I have a rule for all my parents (as a coach) ... the only words that can preceed the word "referee" are "good game" or "thank-you":)
     

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