The "Let's All Laugh at aust!n" Thread

Discussion in 'Columbus Crew' started by jack sticker, Jan 14, 2019.

  1. Bill Archer

    Bill Archer BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 19, 2002
    Washington, NC
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Wasn't 2017 the year he wasn't going to bother coming to the Cup semifinal and Garber reportedly forced him to show up?

    C R E, Double U, F*CK YOU PRECOURT WE ARE THE CREW.

    Then of course Mr Classy traveled to Toronto for the 2nd leg, stood in the locker room with his arms folded during Gregggg's pregame talk, never said a word to anyone and then went over to the TFC locker room and wished them all good luck.

    And after the game he did not set foot in his own teams locker room but instead went again to the TFC locker room, shook everyone's hand and offered his hearty cogratulations.

    Yes Austin, you're getting a really class act.
     
  2. TKyle

    TKyle Moderator
    Staff Member

    Columbus Crew
    United States
    Dec 28, 2014
    Nordecke’s Porch
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Dong Garble forced him to show up (at his own team’s playoff match)???

    I didn’t remember that detail.

    Huh.
     
  3. stanger

    stanger BigSoccer Supporter

    Nov 29, 2008
    Columbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Yup. He knew we were going to yell at him the entire night.
     
    Robbo Crewfan, TKyle and Bill Archer repped this.
  4. Bill Archer

    Bill Archer BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 19, 2002
    Washington, NC
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    That's something you have to give Garber; when the Crew broke ground he knew he was in for it and he showed up anyway.

    As it turned out the Crew fans threw him a curve and instead of screaming insults, which he expected, many (I don't know how many - 5 hours of driving to insult that shithead seemed obsessive) stood and turned their backs on him when he spoke, which was a) classy b) was a lot more respectful to Dee and Doc and c) really seemed to bother him.

    J. AntKnee is a spineless, gutless coward.
     
  5. stanger

    stanger BigSoccer Supporter

    Nov 29, 2008
    Columbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I wasn’t in the bleachers at the groundbreaking but I did turn my back on him as he spoke, right next to a few people holding single fingers in the air [emoji16]
     
    DGA57v2 and Bill Archer repped this.
  6. KCbus

    KCbus Moderator
    Staff Member

    United States
    Nov 26, 2000
    Reynoldsburg, OH
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I didn't believe that story then, and I still don't believe it now.

    It sounds like fan-fiction written to maximize badness. It's too perfect.
     
  7. Bill Archer

    Bill Archer BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 19, 2002
    Washington, NC
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Its certainly true that I am ready to believe almost any horrible thing anyone says about him, its apparently also true that the players themselves had turned on him, several were asking to be traded and openly siding with the fans.

    I can easily see his fragile, worthless, fat boy in the band ego being out of joint at these actual athletes who think he sucks. Its his high school experience all over again.
     
  8. KCbus

    KCbus Moderator
    Staff Member

    United States
    Nov 26, 2000
    Reynoldsburg, OH
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    THAT I believe.
     
  9. loonytoony

    loonytoony Member

    Newcastle
    Sep 6, 2018
    Austin, TX

    "What the fnck did you just ********ing say about me, you little btich? I'll have you know I'm a supporter of one of the original MLS teams, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Swansons, and our team has won 2 supporters shields, 1 open cup and 1 MLS cup. I am trained in gorilla warfare and a commenter on Big Soccer. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fnck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fncking words. You think you can get away with saying that siht to me over the Internet? Think again, fcker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your helicopters are being tracked right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic new team you are excited to support. You're fncking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in gatekeeping, but I have access to the entire arsenal of high and mighty and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little siht. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fncking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you gddamn idiot. I will siht condescension all over you and you will drown in it. You're fncking dead, kiddo."

    Nothing personal OP, it just needed a bit of translation for us know nothings down here in TX :laugh::laugh:
     
  10. Bill Archer

    Bill Archer BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 19, 2002
    Washington, NC
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Well, since hes trained in "gorilla warfare".......
     
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  11. KCbus

    KCbus Moderator
    Staff Member

    United States
    Nov 26, 2000
    Reynoldsburg, OH
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    And raids to "Swansons."
     
    shoplifter and Bill Archer repped this.
  12. loonytoony

    loonytoony Member

    Newcastle
    Sep 6, 2018
    Austin, TX
    That's it confirmed, Bill is NOT a Navy SEAL after all.
     
    shoplifter repped this.
  13. Ueberjames

    Ueberjames Member+

    Columbus Crew
    Mar 28, 2009
    Stow, Ohio
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Got to load up on the Hungry Man Dinners.
     
    shoplifter, cleazer, stanger and 2 others repped this.
  14. Kryptonite

    Kryptonite BS XXV

    Apr 10, 1999
    Columbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States


    100% accurate.

    I heard that anyone caught booing Dawn Garbage would have been tossed from the groundbreaking. I mean, it probably wouldn't have been a huge loss.
     
  15. Kryptonite

    Kryptonite BS XXV

    Apr 10, 1999
    Columbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    That one TFC fan called you a prima donna, right?
     
    Bill Archer repped this.
  16. russ

    russ Member+

    Feb 26, 1999
    Canton,NY
    Club:
    Liverpool FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Y'all *cant even copy the right words into your reddit pasta.
    So cringe.So try hard.Youre still trying to get into the frat as a senior,for Christs sake.Its embarrassing. Move on.We ain't ever gonna be boys ,aight.

    *Showing respect to your goober heritage.
     
    Bill Archer repped this.
  17. LaMacchia

    LaMacchia Member+

    Jul 12, 2008
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    This is hilarious, given that today is the 6th anniversary (based on my Facebook memories) of a 17 year old being met in the Crew parking lot by a gaggle of Ohio State Highway Patrolmen after directing the copy-pasta that the above is based on at me in a public Facebook group. The related phone call from Dan Lolli is one that I'll never forget.
     
    loonytoony, russ and Bill Archer repped this.
  18. POdinCowtown

    POdinCowtown Member+

    Jan 15, 2002
    Columbus

    Wow, I hadn't heard the story about Precourt visiting the TFC locker room the night Meram missed the tap in that kept us out of MLS cup.

    At the groundbreaking, I just turned my back but there were definitely audible boos for Garble.
     
  19. Bill Archer

    Bill Archer BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 19, 2002
    Washington, NC
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I had a girlfreind named Donna years ago. From tiny little Crestline, Ohio. What a great broad. Right until she dumped me like last weeks cat litter.
     
  20. LaMacchia

    LaMacchia Member+

    Jul 12, 2008
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I spent my formative Elementary School years in neighboring, and equally tiny, Galion. It ain't every day you see some on the internet mention Crestline.
     
  21. kgilbert78

    kgilbert78 Member+

    Borussia Mönchengladbach
    United States
    Dec 28, 2006
    Cowlumbus, OH
    Club:
    Borussia Mönchengladbach
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Hey, I have a buddy who's married to a nice gal from Crestline (no, her name is not Donna;)).
     
    russ repped this.
  22. TKyle

    TKyle Moderator
    Staff Member

    Columbus Crew
    United States
    Dec 28, 2014
    Nordecke’s Porch
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Marion Countian here.
    Ran a lot of cross country and track meets in Crawford County.
     
  23. MLSinSTL

    MLSinSTL Member+

    Columbus Crew
    United States
    Mar 20, 2009
    Ohio - near a city
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I was born in Crawford county. Bucyrus.
     
  24. LaMacchia

    LaMacchia Member+

    Jul 12, 2008
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Small freakin' world, eh?
     
  25. MLSinSTL

    MLSinSTL Member+

    Columbus Crew
    United States
    Mar 20, 2009
    Ohio - near a city
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Yes it is.
     

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