The things we hear returns

Once you hit 40, the years get shorter but the minutes get longer.

 

"He's offside!"

"Not when it was kicked coach!"

"OK sorry, I didn't have a good angle."

 

I have heard that a lot.

Well, two out of three of those.

 

"Ref!" "What?" "My shoe laces--I need to tie them!"

This was during the run of play in a HS varsity boys game. At least his team had possession.

In other news, in 13 HS games so far this season, I have called three passbacks to the keeper. Only one of them scored on the ensuing IFK.

 

In a HS VB game last night, the visiting team was wearing red and liked to cheer each other on by saying things like "c'mon red!", "let's go, red" or "you gotta get that, red." The home team's play maker, who had red hair and went by the nickname "red", had his teammate calling out to him regularly. It seemed like both teams were talking to me all night.

 

You are chumming the water, we're gonna need a bigger boat.

 

Not trolling, just throwin' streamers.

 

Last night I experienced the five most irritating words spoken to a referee several times. "How is that a foul?!" Not from a coach, but from players in a U14 game, which compounded the level of irritation.

 

Last night the coach of a VG team that is leading her district commented that last week (penultimate week of the regular season) their keeper finally learned that picking up the ball on a pass back was not a good idea. I didn't ask how many lessons that took.

 

I can go at least four club seasons without calling a passback. Heck maybe six.

 

You know you just jinxed yourself . . .

 

See his earlier post.

 

I got that last weekend from a player in a U8 indoor game!! Complete with the arms extended. They are so used to only getting fouls called when the other player goes down at this age....they don't get that pushing another player off of the ball is a foul if he is able to keep his feet.

I so000 wanted to pull a YC, but as soon as I pointed to him and said "hey!" he immediately went meek and said "oh, sorry..." so I went with the AC for dissent (and explanation of pushing) instead. This same kids flops/dives all over the place at the slightest touch from the other team or his own teammate.

Boy, they start them young nowadays....

 

Answer: "Read law twelve". If I'm irritated it's "Can it with the mouth".

 

Boys U11. My first match reffing anything, I'm AR on parent's side.

I flag for offside.

Parent: "I hate you ref. That was a really good call, but still...I hate you." Was said in fun, so we all had a good little giggle.

 

You haven't lived until a 9 year old cusses you out at a rec indoor game...

 

You choose those five over "You've got to be kidding!" ...?

Hmmm ... I think I feel a haiku coming on.

 

Or "Come on Ref Er Reeeeeeeee."

Oh, wait...

On the passback, I didn't have one Saturday. U11B. Blue crossing attempt and a White defender whiffed on clearing it but it did deflect off his leg. Keeper started to pick it up but then thought better of it and booted it out. Coach said "You can pick it up with your hands. It was only deflected to you." Keeper said "That depends on the referee." I told the keeper it was a deflection and he could have picked it up. Then I silently cussed the last referee who called a deflection a passback.

 

That's a keeper who's been burned before. 10-11 years old and already jaded.

 

Last night Boys Varsity, Black mid puts his boot up mid chest height to attempt to play a ball. He misses the ball but not the White defender, who walks right into it with said boot right in the chest. Fortunately he walked into it instead of running into it. Whistle and foul against Black.

Player: "But I was just standing there. He ran into me!"
Coach: "Just shut up. You aren't winning this one."

 

Last night I had a player ask me to watch the offside. I said I was, that's what I'm here for. Her coach chimed in "They aren't offside, they are running with the kick of the ball, not standing there watching the ball go past them before they start." He was down a couple on goals scored off of long balls.

 

Smart kid.

 

I have told this story many times, so skip over it if you have heard it.

When my younger played sweeper for a U9 team, he liked to run an offside trap, stepping up to put a forward offside just before a free kick, if he thought the AR's were tuned into it. He did that a few times in the first half of one game, and we could hear their coach all the way across the field in his half-time speech - "They're doing it to you on purpose!"

 

For me, the biggest problem is "several times." First time I hear that, I'm taking the time to let EVERYONE on the field know that type of commentary is unwelcomed. The second and every subsequent repitition is a caution for dissent. That question is rarely asked in a way that is seeking information or explanation. It is almost always to call your ability into question.

However, the sarcasm answer I usually start with is "what part of that challenge was fair?"