Charlie Bedard -- Quakes' 2016 MLS WORKS Community MVP

Done

 

ditto

 

Me too... done.

 

I was caught completely off guard when I got a call just a few days ago from Major League Soccer to tell me that I had been nominated for this award. I have no idea who nominated me and but I am honored to even have been considered for such an acknowledgement.

I expect that the person who nominated me was motivated by the story of me and my family and our involvement with the soccer community over the past many years. And, as coincidences go, the start of that journey began exactly 12 years ago today. I have never brought it to this forum, but maybe now the circumstances are appropriate to share this with you.

Those of you who have attended the SSVCF banquets in previous years are already familiar with the story. But most of you have not heard this before. Hopefully you will find the story compelling and maybe it will help you to see your life, your family and your community a little differently.

My wife, Karlina, and I were enjoying the job of being the Mom and Dad of 2 very energetic and boisterous boys. We started them in AYSO soccer at a young age and Saturdays were all-day soccer (AYSO = All Your Saturdays Occupied). I got hooked on soccer initially as a referee and loved to watch my boys play and referee games when they were not playing. We started going to ‘Quakes games in 2001 and became STH almost immediately. I have many fond memories of the Spartan grass on the East side and tailgating at most home games.

On Wednesday, July 7th, 2004, 12 years ago yesterday, there was a home game at Spartan. As we sat in the bleachers waiting for the game to start I remember thinking “It doesn’t get any better than this!” Sadly, I was right. It didn’t.

The next day, my youngest son, Andrew, a month short of his 9th birthday, collapsed into a seizure while playing with a friend and Andrew’s older brother. Andrew had suffered a brain aneurysm which caused internal bleeding leading to severe brain swelling. He was brain dead by midnight that day.

At the hospital, awaiting what we knew in our hearts was the inevitable tragic news, we decided that we could not let this terrible thing destroy our family. We immediately decided to donate all of Andrew’s organs through the California Transplant Donor Network (CTDN) now known as Donate Life California (http://livingdonationcalifornia.org/). Karlina also volunteers her time to that organization.

A few days after Andrew’s death, there was another ‘Quakes home game. We decided to go and were greeted by ‘Quakes front office people who knew of our loss and helped us feel welcome at the game. I know many of you hold Alexi Lalas in great disdain, but I must report that how he and his front office treated us at that time was wonderful and supportive. And, much to my surprise, being at the game lifted the crushing pain that I felt everywhere else in my life.

And that continued on the soccer field with the kids. For reasons I do not understand and cannot explain, being around kids playing soccer, refereeing games and helping families enjoy soccer was the only place I felt any relief from the unrelenting grief. I decided that the “dad” energy that I still had but had been robbed of the opportunity to share it with Andrew could be redirected toward bringing soccer to more kids in my own community.

Andrew was a charming and extremely positive person. His unbridled positive outlook made him a great kid to be around all the time. I like to tell the story of one fall soccer match, where he loved to play goalkeeper. His team had a tough season with never winning a game. And as he walked off the field after losing another game, I asked how he was feeling. “I feel great Dad,” he said. “If you have the right attitude you’re a winner”. And no, I have not made that up. I was startled by his response at the time, which is why I have never forgotten it.

Thankfully, the ‘Quakes were around in 2004. At the end of the 2005 season, with the knowledge that they would be leaving town, I was devastated again. One of the very few places where I was able to feel better and happy was being ripped away from me. I know most of you feel anger and disappointment with the team being dragged off to Houston. For me, it was a deep personal loss. It was almost like ripping my heart out again. I will never forgive AEG for that foul act.

So, when the reborn ‘Quakes returned in 2008, those fantastic people at Soccer Silicon Valley, and Don Gagliardi, in particular, asked Karlina and me if we would sponsor a Community Award in Andrew’s name. We jumped at the chance and have been helping to choose the award winner and handing out the award every year since 2008. And I want you, the fans to know, that this comes from Karlina and me. The team does not provide the award. We do this in gratitude to the sport and the organization that reached out to us when we most needed it.

Gratefully, we acknowledge that the 'Quakes offered to mount a plaque and award designation in the new Avaya stadium. We worked with Dave Kaval and others to design the plaque and chose to mount it next to the player tunnel because it is about and for the players. I invite you to visit it the next time you go to Avaya.

Now, 12 years later, I am the Regional Commissioner for our AYSO region. My wife, Karlina, was the RC for 3 years prior to that. We have brought hundreds of people as guests to ‘Quakes games over the past decade+ and many became STH. Being in love with the game, I took training to be a coach a number of years ago in addition to being a referee and I also instruct both disciplines within AYSO.

And Karlina and I still give out our Andrew Bedard Sportsmanship award at our year-end U10 tournament (which we did the very first year in 2004 when Andrew would have played in U10). It remains a very special award in our soccer community and we use it to remind all those parents that soccer is game to be played for fun and for learning about life.

And we also remind parents that it is too easy to take your kids for granted. The times with your kids are literally “once in a lifetime”. Extract every ounce of joy that you can while they are with you. There is no guarantee that they are there tomorrow.

I am sad today on the anniversary of losing my son. I am sad every July 8th. But I am grateful that we were able to survive our loss by sharing our own love of the game with others. And I do not see that ending any time soon.

Thanks to those of you who managed to read this far J.

I’ll see you at Avaya tonight…

 

Inspiring story, SeaJayBee. Thank you for sharing it.

I voted too .