Tom Veit was in on the conference call. They mentioned two incidents from last Thursday's home game: Someone tossed a t-shirt in festive manner in the Supporter Section during the LA Galaxy game, and it got close landing on the pitch. Apparently, the grass is now suffering from severe Post-Tramatic Stress Disorder, and may file a lawsuit against the team They also talked about rumors that someone might have used a naughty word during the game. An eight year-old may have overheard this naughty word, as the child has been hopelessly addicted to heroin since Friday. After mentioning this, the two said, "So that's it: We're shutting it down". When I asked, "What are you shutting down?", they both answered in unison: "All of it." In the future, Chester Police in full riot gear will be patrolling the parking lots, tazering and arresting anyone suspected of having fun. Also, undercover secret police will now be stationed throughout the stadium, dressed as Union fans. Should anyone cheer at a higher-than-acceptable volume during the run of play, they shall be executed. If anyone should have the audacity to include a swear word during this cheer, their entire section will be water boarded. Flame throwers were also mentioned as a way to test BAC levels of anyone entering the park. They asked me to post this on here, so everyone can understand how dramatic and important this is. You have been warned.
i demand a full transcript of the conversation. if we stop cheering do we get a coin operated custom scarf knitting machine?
I have signed up for this special task force and will be enforcing the no fun policy. All sarcasm will be displayed as a violation of this notice and I will have to conduct myself within the guidelines of these laws. All coin operated scarf machines will be moved to a non disclosed location for further investigation to make sure no bantering or fun is had with thus said machine. I do not believe this machine can be used in accordance to section 1.a.b.12 in which an inanimate object can be associated with any teasing at another persons expense and may fall into the guidelines of a harassment type situation.
Did this conference call address the need for the immediate creation of an "Autograph Police?" If people are getting autographs from opposing players, and not just Union players, that could be a huge detriment to the FO's bottom line.
Due to personal issues experienced by the scarf machine's operator, the machine will be be patrolled constantly by APEX staff. No gesticulating at the machine will be tolerated, even if it fails to deliver the right change.