Comedy on Tyneside--Other Team's Thread [R]

Ooooh, new thread. Very nice.

 

So Kevin Keegan notices some problems with Michael Owen and takes him to see a doctor from outside the club.

"The diagnosis is that Michael has either lethal rabies or Alzheimers."

"Alzheimers or the rabies? Isnt there a bit of a difference?" says the startled Keegan.

"Well, they start off the same and develop" informs the doctor.

"So what am i meant to do?" asks the bewildered Kevin.

"Well, if i were you i would take him for a drive out to the country and leave him somewhere, and if he gets back to Tyneside shoot the cnut."

 

Liverpool are so ********ing jammy, its unreal. Another Inter player sent off this leg, I dont know how that sly little cvnt Babel is still on the pitch.

 

Inter needs to learn from MeeLan and pay the ref just alitte more =)

 

Looks like it was Liverpool doing the paying. IF you taped this game, dont bother watching it.

 

so basically, give me any non-english team besides Barca in the next round!

 

give me barcelona, for all those obvious reasons.

i definitely want no part of any english team, would be boring personnally.
how lucky is liverpool to have those 2 decisions go their way in each game, killed off both ties.

 

the "distance covered" statistic is just stupid during these CL matches.

 

Liverpool weren't all that great either, but Inter were just dreadful. The goal by Torres was really well done, but other then that every time Inter had an oppurtunity to make a game of it, they blew it. I don't know what Mancini was thinking, they were still down two goals on aggregate with about 30 minutes left in the match and he hadn't made a change.

 

Inter were pretty good in the first half, but they completely gave up after the rediculous sending off. I dont blame them, there has to be some sort of conspiracy behind those sending offs. Babel was a prick in the first half, a violent tackle, a shove in the back and a deliberate handball and yet the little bastard diddnt get sent off.

 

It's true that they were better in the first half and it seemed like they quit after the red card, but even in the first half, they had multiple oppurtunities to get into the match and couldn't produce. Ibrahimovic may have had his worst match ever today. He blazed at least three or four freekicks well over the bar and had the touch of a seven year old in the box.

 

How much of Ibra have you seen?

He's an incredibly talented player, but "worst match" for him at this point can't even begin until you have a perfect storm of unbelievably poor play, sulking that would make Henry blush, and ridiculous stupidity leading to a red card...

 

Haha, I was about to reply with the exact same thing until I scrolled a drop and saw your post

 

Too bad I read that after watching the game on my dvr. What a waste of space.

I get the feeling all 4 english teams will be drawn against each other - uefa don't want to face the prospect of an all english semi/final (a very real possibility with only Barca probably standing in the way of that).

Chelsea - Liverpool (it just wouldn't be a season without this)
Arsenal - Manutd (TV ratings will be off the charts) Dueled in the FA cup, dueling in the league, and finishing the fight in the CL with 3 matches between us in 13 days - not to mention they need to revive everyone who died watching the Chelsea - Liverpool.

 

Maybe I am the only one watching the USA U-23s... but Charlie Davies is a diving machine.

Is this what they teach them in Sweden?

EDIT: Damn it... Cuba actually scored. 1-1.

 

Agree. Three terrible dives. Well deserved yellow card for him.
But Adu looks good with his shots. And a few of his free kicks have been pretty good. Wish we had someone other then RvP would could whip something in like that.

 

Adu looked good but has vanished since Edu and McCarty lost control of the midfield.

Honestly, I wouldn't be hurt if Davies never put on a US shirt again the way he has played this first half. Stupid.

I'm trying to reserve judgment on the team selection, but let's just say I am not a Nowak fan. I figure he's got three games in five days... He can't pick the same team for all three games, so maybe he will get it right eventually.

 

He's got so many attacking players on. I think they're gonna get tired over the 5 days.

And that was a poor shot from a good chance for Cuba.

 

Wayne Rooney on for the US U-23s...

He can't be worse than Davies.

Yet again, Adu is the best player we have despite being the second youngest player on the team. No one else has ideas or the requisite skill to impose themselves on a pretty poor Cuba team.

 

Cuban player gets a red card for putting the ball in the net after the whistle.

2nd yellow.

 

Speaking of Zlatan on the last page, he did the same thing in a game I believe it was last season. Got his second yellow continuing a play after an offsides whistle.

 

Not a real good performance to start Olympic qualifying. I know Altidore missed two clear chances in the first half, but I don't really agree with him coming off at halftime.

 

1-1 Ft for the U-23s
Finishing was crap for the States
Bunkering for the last 40 minutes was great for the Cubans