The Landon Donovan Fiction Thread

Discussion in 'USA Men' started by Nidal Baba Superstar, Jan 20, 2008.

  1. Nidal Baba Superstar

    Sep 20, 2006
    Far away
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Now that some "Landon Donovan Fact Thread" is dominating this forum, I feel compelled to counter its malign influence with some sweet Landon Donovan fictions.

    - Landon Donovan has no heart.
    - Landon Donovan plays in MLS because he doesn't care about his country or himself.
    - Landon Donovan doesn't show up for the big games, like USA vs. Italy and sh*t like that.
    - Landon Donovan is a coach-killer.
    - Landon Donovan is a "p*ssy".
    - Landon Donovan is a poor leader for his teammates.
    - Landon Donovan should be stripped of his captaincy, and a True American (tm) with the guts to play in Europe, like Joe Lapira or Giuseppe Rossi, should be given the job instead.
    - Landon Donovan has a full head of hair.

    Feel free to add to the list!
     
  2. Landon Donovan is slow and a terrible penalty-taker.
     
  3. tacubo

    tacubo Member

    Jul 8, 2004
    Chicago, IL
    Once ate a baby whole, just unlocked his jaw and swallowed. :eek:
     
  4. Bookthekeeper

    Bookthekeeper Member

    Jul 15, 2007
    DFW


    [youtube]feyeIIwuJyo[/youtube]
     
  5. thejuggernaut

    thejuggernaut Member

    Mar 25, 2007
    PA
    Club:
    Manchester City FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Landon Donovan had the most blatant dive in last year's world cup!!... It's fiction because everyone knows Malouda had the most blatant dive.
     
  6. j.fisher

    j.fisher So Much Better

    May 3, 2007
    Winston Salem, NC
    Club:
    Chelsea FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I heard he practices his penalty kicks by punting midgets in his back yard past Bianca.
     
  7. ChelseaMatt

    ChelseaMatt Member

    Apr 12, 2005
    Memphis
    Club:
    Chelsea FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    It takes real talent to write a joke like that. You should be using your wares in more important places than this forum. I commend you.
     
  8. j.fisher

    j.fisher So Much Better

    May 3, 2007
    Winston Salem, NC
    Club:
    Chelsea FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    God bless you, sir.
     
  9. izha

    izha Member

    May 24, 2002
    Donovan is a winger. The coach that is playing him there isn't an idiot.
     
  10. studzup

    studzup New Member

    Nov 11, 2007
    Winthrop;Kinsale,IRE
    Fiction: he's good on set pieces.
     
  11. mcnaulty21

    mcnaulty21 Member

    Feb 6, 2007
    Wisconsin
    Club:
    Fulham FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Landon Donovan's pre-PK routine is a ritual prescribed by his Scientologist master.
     
  12. TheRustyEunuch

    Oct 16, 2007
    Medellín
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake

    Good one buddy.
     
  13. Beazley17

    Beazley17 Member

    Dec 30, 2006
    South Florida
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Um, lets see, he dosent want to play in Europe because he likes where he lives, just because you wish you hasd his life dosent mean you should make threads like these.

    Dosent have heart? He is the most dedicated player to the team by keeping fit, and running around the pitch for all 90 until he cant run at all.

    Dosent show up, he played amazing against Italy, he was the best player on the pitch for either side, so just becuase he dosent socre, dosent mean he played bad. And yes, he didnt play too well vs Czech or Ghana, and you should of used those as your example, but played well in all 5 2002 games. So thats 6 good World cup games, to 2 bad. I'll take the 6, and learn to watch soccer if you think he played bad against Italy.
     
  14. mcnaulty21

    mcnaulty21 Member

    Feb 6, 2007
    Wisconsin
    Club:
    Fulham FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    You really missed the point of the thread.
     
  15. wooglin12

    wooglin12 Member

    Mar 26, 2005
    Birmingham, AL
    Club:
    Reading FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    A hairline to die for.
     
  16. Beazley17

    Beazley17 Member

    Dec 30, 2006
    South Florida
    Nat'l Team:
    United States

    I get it now, but its still stupid to pick on the best player the US has ever had.:DSrry
     
  17. Dadinho

    Dadinho Member

    Feb 19, 2005
    San Diego
    Club:
    Vitoria Salvador
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    More than one testicle... :eek:
     
  18. owian

    owian Member+

    Liverpool FC, San Diego Loyal
    May 17, 2002
    San Diego
    Club:
    Liverpool FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    he's got an ugly wife
     
  19. metroflip73

    metroflip73 Member

    Mar 3, 2000
    NYC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Took Europe by storm and returned a conquering hero.
     
  20. FreedomJess

    FreedomJess New Member

    Nov 7, 2005
    AZ
    Making the starting lineup in a World Cup as a teenager, scoring against a powerhouse, taking Mexico out, and having a stellar quarterfinal game against another powerhouse actually sucks and nobody, especially people on Big Soccer would ever want to do that. Yuk! Makes me sick even thinking about doing something like that.
     
  21. Optimizer

    Optimizer New Member

    May 14, 2007
    Edison, NJ
    Landon Donovan just shrinks when playing against Mexico.
     
  22. wooglin12

    wooglin12 Member

    Mar 26, 2005
    Birmingham, AL
    Club:
    Reading FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Inspires awesome ideas like "fact" and "fiction" threads.
     
  23. dcpohl

    dcpohl Member+

    Feb 9, 2007
    Club:
    FC Barcelona
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    On March 31st, Landon Donovan's calendar automatically skips to April 2nd because no one fools Landon Donovan.
     
  24. Maximum Optimal

    Maximum Optimal Member+

    Jul 10, 2001
    As a member of the U17 team, defeated teammate DaMarcus Beasley in a one-on-one pissing contest, an event that foreshadowed their later exploits.
     
  25. thejuggernaut

    thejuggernaut Member

    Mar 25, 2007
    PA
    Club:
    Manchester City FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    And ever WILL have! damn it!
     

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