Phone tap: regular Monday AM conference call, 10/6/03: John Wagner: Good Morning; Clark, are you there? Clark Hunt: Good morning John. JW: Jim Smith in Columbus, are you on? Jim Smith: Mother*#*#*#*#er *#*#*#*#*#*#*# *#*#*#*#*# Andrulis is *#*#*#*#ing up my *#*#*#*#ing JW: OK, Jim seems to be there, so let's start with Clark; CH: Well, since I didn't get a chance to see the game on Saturday, maybe Jim can tell us how it went. JS I WANT ANDRULIS DEAD!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME???? DEAD!!!!! CH: Now Jim, I really don't think we can do that. The contract doesn't even let us give him a good beating or anything. Now if you have some issues, maybe we could.... JS: ISSUES???!!! I'll give him some *#*#*#*#ing issues!!!! I worked my ass off putting this team together - veterans, All Stars, national team members, promising young kids, the whole package. Then I had to turn it all over to that bearded *#*#*#*#head to *#*#*#*# up. JW: Now Jim, it can't be as bad as all that. JS:BAD???? I had to wear a dress and a wig just to walk to the car last night; there were 100 fans with a rope out in the parking lot. CH: I hope they didn't damage any of those new trees. They were expensive. JW: So the fans are in a bad mood Jim? JS BAD MOOD??? Yesterday I saw some smoke and I thought somebody had started a fire to keep warm. I sent some ushers over, and it turns out that they were season ticket holders burning the balance of their package. JW: Well, that sounds bad, but... JS: ...and they threw the ushers into the fire too. CH: Dad hates it when that happens. Usually costs a fortune to clean all that up. JS: I'm telling you, we gotta fire Andrulis. Now. Today. Right this second. JW: Well Jim, you know the deal - we figure that if we let him go we'd have to give the job to Bobby for the reat of the season, and he'd have to get all those free meal tickets and the leased car. It could cost as much as $200 or $250 extra. JS: But the fans are revolting! CH: Now hold on Jim. I've been there, and while some of those guys in the North End DO smell a little, and a couple of them look a little grifty, I really don't think you can say... JS: I mean they're angry - pissed off - they want blood. CH: ...And there was that strange girl, can't remember her name, used to throw herself over the rail and start humping my leg... JS: Well I TOLD you not to carry that camera. Look guys, there's a crowd gathering outside right now, Torches, pitchforks, the whole deal. JW: QUICK!!! Open the concession stands and raise the price of beer!! CH: Are you charging them for parking? JS: I'm not sure you guys are grasping how serious this is. They've overpowered the guards and are trashing the lobby!!!!!! JW: And the tent!!! If it starts raining we can charge them ten bucks for some bad snacks. CH: BIG SCREEN TV'S!!!!! BIG SCREEN TV'S!!!!!!! JS: I HEAR THEM IN THE HALL!!! THEY"RE COMING THIS WAY!!!! NO!! IT' S NOT ME YOU WANT, IT'S ANDRULIS, I SWEAR IT IS!! I'LL TELL YOU WHERE HE LIVES!!!!!! JW: I wonder if we could get some T-Shirts made real quick: "2003: Sacking The Stadium". Let's see, 200 shirts at $18 a piece.... CH: Dad really likes T shirts. JS:..................