Letter to Season Ticket Holders

Discussion in 'Columbus Crew' started by Eggy, Nov 30, 2004.

  1. Eggy

    Eggy New Member

    May 28, 1999
    CBUS
    My spies from MI5 have gotten their hands on the rough draft of a letter that will be going out to season ticket holders.

    It goes as follows....

    Dear Season Ticket Holder #45479,

    Now comes the time of the season where we will be requiring most of what's in your bank account. Please do it before Christmas to fund our shopping. If any of you would like to send us your bank details we can calculate how much we think you should spend every week and have it automatically deducted from your account. There is a $25 service charge for that.

    We have done alot of work here at Crew headquaters developing barcodes to put on the back of your children's necks. We can't tell you why but we can tell you that it only stings for a second. Honest.

    We have good news and bad news on the parking situation. The bad news is that the price has jumped to $20. The good news is that prices are per-wheel so if you ride a bicycle your getting deal.

    Are you ready for another exciting season? Kyle Martino will be playing out of his own 18 for another year. We look forward to it. We're also looking of signing some more young promising players so that we can dash their hopes of every playing for their country as well as keeping you aasholes from saying that we aren't ambitious.

    So come on and renew your season ticket. And by the way. The Hunt family forgot about us at the Crew FO because they were dealing with their other sports teams. Since we were snubbed on Holiday Bonuses we're takin' out yer azz bítchez. Skeet skeet skeet skeet.....

    Pay up,

    The Crew
     
  2. Ch(Elsey)

    Ch(Elsey) Member+

    Columbus Crew
    United States
    May 2, 2003
    Green, Ohio
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    We need more of this singular post.
     
  3. KCbus

    KCbus Moderator
    Staff Member

    United States
    Nov 26, 2000
    Reynoldsburg, OH
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    But then it wouldn't be singular.
     
  4. CBusCrew12

    CBusCrew12 Member

    Apr 19, 2005
    Ohio, USA
    Club:
    Chelsea FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Necrobump ftw.
     
    Lucky Day repped this.
  5. POdinCowtown

    POdinCowtown Member+

    Jan 15, 2002
    Columbus
    An example for newer members of how long the fans and front office have been annoyed with each other. We won the shield in 2004 and attendance promptly dropped for the disastrous 2005 season.
     
  6. Draghignazzo

    Draghignazzo Member+

    Feb 24, 2007
    Columbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    I miss Eggy.
     
    Ch(Elsey) repped this.
  7. Ch(Elsey)

    Ch(Elsey) Member+

    Columbus Crew
    United States
    May 2, 2003
    Green, Ohio
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    The bicycle deal gets me every damn time I read that post.
     
  8. puttputtfc

    puttputtfc Member+

    Sep 7, 1999
    Not sure if you ever had a chance to knock down a few cold ones with Eggy but he was a blast to drink with. What happened to him?
     

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