1- Convey and Reading will be promoted, by the skin of their teeth after a late push by Leeds and Eddie Lewis. (for future reference, they are currently clear of third by 17 points). 2- JOB will get more threads than appearances for his club. (so far, Threads 1, Appearances 0) 3- Rossie will get more threads than CAPS for ITALY, yes, like most other New Jerseyans, he would rather be Italian. (Threads 1, CAPS 0) 4- Reyna will be injured no less than 5 times (each more than a 2 week lay-off). Manchester hostpital wing named in his honor.. 5- Landon will be linked to every Prem club and blood will be shed between posters of varying opinions, all while LD lays on a beach in LA.. 6- Spector signs on with Charlton but keeps the mullet. 7- Beas leaves PSV after WC 06 and finally cracks the 140lb mark.. 8- Gooch signs with German giants Bayern Munich 9- Eddie Lewis and Leeds just miss out on auto promotion and he loses in the playoff final again. 10- RichardL retires from posting on Bigsoccer and is picked-up by The Guardian..
1) jay demerit will not be at watford by the end of next year 2) gooch will not move anywhere as Standard needs him for Europe 3) heath pearce shines in the Jan. friendlies, makes World Cup and gets a contract in Germany 4) gibbs comes back to MLS 5) Beasley goes to EPL over the summer 6) Howard get sold to Charleton 7) o'brien will not be fit for the world cup 8) quentin westburg hooks up with a french league 2 side and is their #1 9) kenny cooper will be starting for a colaship club sometime next year. 10) reading get promoted...marcus stays, bc gets sold
1) Gooch will quit football and hire Don King to promote Onyewu-Klitchko bout. The pre-fight stare will be worth the price of the admission. 2) Bobby Convey will be sold to Feyenoord after he is tempted by the Dutch club offer - "$100 each month + all the macaroni&cheese he can eat". Within a year, wondering bystanders will be asking, "Did Matt Le Tessier unretire?" 3) Kasey Keller will enter WWE where he will continue to 'rassle every mascot that has ever been inside a sports arena. A humiliated Philly Phanatic be drop kicked ... over the ropes and out of bounds, as usual. 4) Brad Friedel will be sold by Blackburn to Bordeaux, after which every second word out of his mouth will be, "Qui, qui", followed by a manaical laugh. That however will not stop him from winning the French GK of the Year award and earning a cult following in the wine region. 5) Tim Howard will be loaned to the crosstown rivals Manchester City where he will top the "Calamity" James' record for the number of the most boneheaded plays by a goalkeeper ... all that while rotating in goal with the said David James. 6) Landon Donovan will be loaned to Fulham ... after getting drizzled on in London, he takes a flight back to the US without unpacking his suitcases. His fans inexplicably will still blame Klaus Augenthaler for the latest gaffe. 7) Brian West and Robbie Russell will pull each other's groins by mistake ... not that there's anything wrong with it. 8) Adin Brown's Aalesund will get relegated again into the Norwegian Regional Arctic League, just on the outskirts of Petsamo. Responding to the BigSoccer posters pleas of "When are you coming back to MLS?", Adin produces an album of all the blonde chicks that crossed into his own GK crease .... if you know what I mean ... the album produces a Petsamo stampede of the Big Soccer posters. 9) Steve Cherundolo shortens his last name to just "Cher" and spends an obscene percentage of his Hannover salary on plastic surgery. It'll prove to be a wise investment as he'll come out of the surgery looking like David Beckham and gets sold to Real Madrid for $40M. The Beckham duo, albeit rather creepy, sets all sort of Real shirts sales records. 10) Claudio Reyna's medical team will finally meet John O'Brien's ... the gathering will have a higher head count than the Chelsea-MLS AllStar game at the Rose Bowl. 11) Brian Ching will be sold to Le Havre, thereby becoming the first 'avaian to play there. 12) Tony Meola will finally make it into the Italian calcio ... as a Zebra the Juventus mascot. He'll meet his maker after the Borussia Mönchengladbach-Juve Champions League match as the deranged Kasey Keller repeatedly slams him into the ground screaming, "Cover the near post, you nitwit." And with that, folks, Happy 2,006.
1. Hahnemann, while parading around the center of Reading on a float celebrating promotion, attempts to show off his skills by whirling his guns "cowboy style" but accidently shoots Convey in his only good eye. 2. After the accidental shooting, Convey is determined to fight his way through a grueling recovery. He succeeds and is the first blind player to play professional football. Kraft foods loves this feel good story and signs him to a record endorsement deal. 3. Keller takes his infatuation with mascots to the extreme and directs a series of low budget mascot porn using his castle as the setting. It becomes an instant hit and is the #1 video requested at local German brothels. His created mascot of Mochenjyners replaces the previous "un-hip" mascot for the World Cup. 4. Spector is brought by Charlton, where he sports a "Joe Dirt" as a result it becomes all the rage in London and he's named 2006 World Mullet Man of the Year. 5. Gooch is bought by Man U after the WC and makes his debut against Bolton. Borgetti learns of his arrival at Man U and refuses to play, thus Borgetti is told to pack his bags. The poor bastard goes back to Mexico with his tales between his legs. 6. Beasley finally starts his hip hop group of Run DMB and his debut album is chart topping in Holland. Rumors start to begin that he wants be in London to enhance his music career and Arsenal is the bidder. 7. Under the urging of his fans both in England and the US, Lewis legally changes his lastname to Beckham. The real Beckham is flatered and cries with joy as he thinks it will make his name even bigger in the States. 8. Hannover sign Cherundolo to a long term extension and mark the celebration with the launch of the Cherundolo bobble head doll. Later it is pull off the selves after they realized it was really life size. 9. Once again USSF and Arena graciously knock on Rossi's door and he responds "Leave me alone fat ass, I'm for Italy only" to Arena. Naturally, Arena is pissed and hits Rossi square in the face shattering his jaw and sidelining him for a month. It costs him a place with Man U's new manager. 10. Lastly, Friedel is posied for an international comeback. However, he declares his love for England and petitions FIFA to allow him to play for the Three Lions. Freidel insists that he is a different person and that the "other" Brad Friedel was American. FIFA laugh and urge Blackburn to seek help for Brad.
1. Landy July Spain. Landy July Spain. Landy July Spain. Landy July Spain. 2. Gooch won't make a move if Standard's playing CL. That's currently his only chance to be a starter in CL. Maybe a new Bobble 3. Bruce Arena is hired to coach Manchester United after a huge lobby pressure from the new president 4. Marcelo Balboa will read 'Soccer for Dummies' before June 06 and we eventualy won't throw up during ESPN2 WC's broadcasts 5. Howard back to NYMS 6. Berhalter back to MLS 7. Andrea Canales elected best female YA journalist 8. Beasley in Italy, after he scored twice against them. 9. Philipakos & Rossi together in Energy Cotbus to entertain the local US community 10. Spector in France, PSG
actually, that's the kind of thing that will make them cancel deals with players... just ask ahn jung-hwan
1. There are reports that a mid-table French or Portuguese puts in a bid for Landon, which he rejects. The heavy traffic of angry posters on BigSoccer causes the server to crash. 2. Despite playing out of his head for an entire season and leading Reading to promotion, Convey finds himself back on the bench after the Royals find another proven left mid over the summer. Three weeks after recovering from the Landon crash, BigSoccer crashes again. 3. With Wade Barrett in MLS, Conor Casey feels confident that he has the most extravagent facial hair of any YA. However, this confidence does not translate into goals, only "good effort." 4. After a poor showing in their opening match in the World Cup, van Bastan pulls Rafael Van der Vaart from his lineup, causing a massive drop in confidence. This lack of confidence carries over to his club form, leading Van der Vaart to team up with Benny Feilhaber at Hamburg II. They form an instant friendship (except when Benny tease Rafael about being born in a trailer park) and tear up the Regionalia. 5. John O'Brien retires from soccer to start a career in his new area of expertise: physical therapy. He quickly signs two clients: Brian West and Robbie Russell. 6. Kasey Keller purchases a thoroughbred (sp) and enters it into the Kentucky Derby. It finishes 9th, but everyone agrees the horse is well-fed and properly hydrated. 7. After a successful January camp and good showings in friendlies, Kyle Martino experiences a career breakthrough while playing for Sigi and the Crew. He signs with Schalke over the summer, but has to fight for playing time with fellow summer signing, Robson Ponte. 8. After Guus Hiddink leaves PSV, Beasley agrees to a $3M transfer to Mallorca in La Liga. He quickly reports that the food is "aight." 9. With the end of his MLS contract on the horizon, Eddie Gaven decides to try his luck in Europe. He turns down offers from teams in Belgium, Denmark and Norway in favor of a semi-pro team in Amsterdam. 10. Jonathan Spector returns to Manchester United. He and Kenny Cooper continue to show well in reserves games, but don't get any meaningful appearance with the senior squad. Spector is sold early in 2007. Cooper is left looking for a team after he's realeased from his contract.
Almost forgot about this thread.. let's tally the points.. 1. Correct- anything less than 30 points is considered "skin of your teeth" (see SPL). 2. Correct- not sure of the number of threads, but clearly my foresight is impeccable.. as opposed to my foreskin, which has gone missing some years ago.. 3. Correct- no CAPS for my fellow IROC loving New Jerseyan.. 4. Incorrect - I'm too lazy to count up the injuries and no word on the hospital wing.. 5. Incorrect - With the arrival of Becks the LD debate is sure to heat up after this season (can't have 'em both in 08). Early '08 prediction LD for Chivas USA.. He'll retire before he leaves LA again. 6. Half point - He did sign with Charlton, but did lose the mullet sometime in '06.. What an effen sell-out.. 7. Correct - He did leave PSV and all that sitting on the bench must have added a few pounds.. 8. Incorrect - on his current form, Cooch will be lucky to sign with SV Wacker Burghausen - or Man City for that matter.. 9. Incorrect- 12 points off auto and no playoff.. now it looks like the shine has been removed from Eddie's fivehead and he'll be MLS bound shortly after Leeds take the plunge to League One. 10. Incorrect - Poor Richard (ah, that's rich- another zinger..)... Not only is he still posting here (please keep it up btw) but he has started a blog. Richard, you need an agent.. I'm offering my services at my normal rate of 90%, please PM me.. total points.. 4.5 <edit> 6. Incorrect on both.. Either way, he'll be in the Cola league next year.
It was a record-breaking points total, and they were safe by feb. clinched in march. that's a lot of tooth skin. Maybe in an elway mouth?