2003 RPL Kits: Another attempt at an ubiased review

And, here we have the final standings:

In the first place, receiving the gold medal and the spot in the Champions League is the fashion crew of Torpedo Moscow with 9.5 points! Good job, lads! One must really please Shurik to win it all with only black and white at one's disposal.

A silver medal and a lot of griping about the refereeing will go to Rubin Kazan - 9 points. At least they didn't have to bribe the opponents to get this far. Maybe, next year, using something original will put them over the top.

A bronze medal and the "Yippee, we are in the UEFA Cup!" consolation cheer goes to Rotor Volgograd - 8.5 points. Remember those 1996 stripes? Now forget them quickly. Simplicity is the word for the new century, kids.

Deadlocked at fourth and needing some help to sneak into the European berth are CSKA, Spartak and Torpedo-Metallurg, a Moscow triumvirate with 8 points a piece. Of course, CSKA take the fourth eventually, by bullying the opposition.

Tying for 7th place are Saturn-RenTV and Krylya Sovetov - 7.5 points. Two teams that deliverred on providing something old and something blue, while totally flunking on the something new front.

Ninth place belongs to Uralan and Shinnik - 7 points. It's probably a shame that the Tires of Terror have to share a place with the inventors of the Unwatchable Kit, but this is what you get for indulging into corporate sponsorships.

Spartak-Alania occupy the 11th spot, which is better than their on-the-pitch performance. Maybe the French coach will provide some tutorship in the glamour department as well.

Rounding up the Dirty Dozen is Dinamo Moscow (how appropriate for the Garbage Men) who has found yet another way to screw up a simple concept.

Rostov is in the 13th spot, but they still argue that the gradient was simply a sun-faded spot.

And there is a violent battle against relegation between 3 sides, locked in 14th place: Zenit, Lokomotiv and Chernomorets all have 2.5 points. Of course, Loko receive some help from fellow Moscow sides in the last round to squeak away on goal differential, so it's Zenit and the Sailors who go to the fashion school next year.

Until we meet again, this has been "I on Fashion!".