Germany, Germany, Germany (r)

Discussion in 'Women's Rivalry Forum' started by jocasta, Sep 20, 2007.

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  1. jocasta

    jocasta Member+

    Oct 11, 2003
    Nat'l Team:
    Sweden
    #1 jocasta, Sep 20, 2007
    A century and a half ago, Caroline Ingalls wrote this in her famous daughter's autograph book:
    "If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:
    Of whom you speak, to whom you speak, and how, and when, and where."

    In other words, "Let the trash talking among like-minded anti-Germany folks begin."

    For starters, I'll just put up one more link to redcard816's love poem about Birgit Prinz.

    While I admire the irreverent attitude of using Herr Doktor Professor Seuss as inspiration, I shall take an anti-Seuss tack, channeling darkness and chaos in Germany's direction. Here's a sample chant I'll be doing tomorrow tonight, as I dance around around the goat-skull in the center of the pentagram while wearing my Pohlers jersey:

    O sacred sky-bunny, hauhyh hunnhuh
    Bite the noses of the Germans
    As you did in the ancient time
    Before Germans had knees and had to walk funny
    (clump-clump, clump-clump)
    Cramp their legs, o sky-bunny
    Blur their vision, give them shin-splints
    Oh boy, oh boy
    As you did in the ancient-time
    When you devoured the DFB-Elf
    When you made the sun and the moon from her shoelaces, hunnhuh hunnhuh
    I forget the rest
    (ever so slighty adapted from Tom Weller, Cvltvre Made Stupid)
     
  2. defensewins

    defensewins Member

    Nov 15, 1999
    #2 defensewins, Sep 20, 2007
    Birgit Prinz needs hormone testing
    In her shorts some nads are resting
    It’s a women’s game, so it’s not fair
    For a German star to have chest hair
     
  3. jocasta

    jocasta Member+

    Oct 11, 2003
    Nat'l Team:
    Sweden
    #3 jocasta, Sep 20, 2007
    Perhaps you are asking yourselves, "Why should I hate Team Germany?" If you've ever cheered for anyone else, you know why. If you need reminding, here's their own promo video, showing gut-wrenching montages of the various outrages the DFB-Elf has perpetrated over the years. Highlights include revolting celebrations that remind us that underwear is called underwear for a reason, and generally ought not be seen in public.

    USA, Sweden, and Norway fans, steel yourselves before watching this video. It cuts deep.
     
  4. kickinthehead

    kickinthehead Member

    Mar 17, 2006
    #4 kickinthehead, Sep 21, 2007
    I have the 2003 Germany:USA WC semi-final on DVD.

    Never gets old seeing the US women cry. Good times.
     
  5. kickinthehead

    kickinthehead Member

    Mar 17, 2006
    #5 kickinthehead, Sep 21, 2007
    We THRIVE on your hatred!! Most girly men feel threatened by La Prinz!
     
  6. kickinthehead

    kickinthehead Member

    Mar 17, 2006
    #6 kickinthehead, Sep 21, 2007
    Prinz Haiku

    You had a top knot in your hair
    Ghost Striker: The way of the Samurai.

    You leave lesser players behind.
    They respond by writing hateful things.

    Goal.
     
  7. jocasta

    jocasta Member+

    Oct 11, 2003
    Nat'l Team:
    Sweden
    #7 jocasta, Sep 22, 2007
    I think it's unfair to call Prinz a man; it is insulting to men. I know men, men are friends of mine, and you, Birgit Prinz, are no man. No, I'm afraid we women just have suck it up and take responsibility for her. Unless she's an alien hatched from a pod out that broke out of a meteor. Which is possible. (a funny poem, though!)

    Obviously my chanting and cursed Pohlers jersey didn't work this morning. My voodoo rituals are going to have to become more intense, I see, dammit. Performing black magic is not easy at 5am.

    And, by the way, haiku? 5-7-5.
     
  8. kickinthehead

    kickinthehead Member

    Mar 17, 2006
    #8 kickinthehead, Sep 22, 2007
    Jocasta, why don't you just come out and say it: "you want to loooove us, you want to huuuug us, you want to kisssss us, you want to make loooove to us".

    Birgit Prinz is no man. She too tough to be a man, so suck it!

    Sweetheart, it takes a REALLY evil spirit to voodoo us German girls out of the Cup. But practice makes perfect as they say.
     
  9. defensewins

    defensewins Member

    Nov 15, 1999
    #9 defensewins, Sep 22, 2007
    I wouldn't know about the girly man thing, but I did notice Birgit's sideburns appear to be coming in nicely.
     
  10. kickinthehead

    kickinthehead Member

    Mar 17, 2006
    #10 kickinthehead, Sep 22, 2007
    La Prinz is a butch hottie. Deal with it, milque toast!
     
  11. Bonnie Lass

    Bonnie Lass Moderator
    Staff Member

    Lyon
    Norway
    Oct 20, 2000
    Up top
    Club:
    Olympique Lyonnais
    #11 Bonnie Lass, Sep 22, 2007
    Aww, dw. Really ... Who knew a hatred of the Germans could bring us together?


    :D
     
  12. Bonnie Lass

    Bonnie Lass Moderator
    Staff Member

    Lyon
    Norway
    Oct 20, 2000
    Up top
    Club:
    Olympique Lyonnais
    #12 Bonnie Lass, Sep 22, 2007
    For my Norwegian blood, I conjure Thor, Loki and Odin. For my Southern upbringing, I've got the Vodoun loa of Baron Samedi and Babalu Aye in my corner.

    Hmmm. It's good to be a heathen ...
     
  13. kickinthehead

    kickinthehead Member

    Mar 17, 2006
    #13 kickinthehead, Sep 22, 2007
    You guys are so cute. I naturally understand how all this anger comes from hurt. Whereas we have "La Prinz", "La Divina" - a woman who basically is the Maria Callas of soccer, you poor little things are stuck with mouthbreathing thugs. It hurts. Chin up my little darlings, you can always watch La Prinz perform her forward arias of awesomeness.
     
  14. defensewins

    defensewins Member

    Nov 15, 1999
    #14 defensewins, Sep 22, 2007


    You spelled that wrong, it’s “mr. diver,” not la divina. And, na we don't have any penis envy-we just wish the German “women” didn’t have them. As for tears, some were certainly shed when we sent Germany packing to the third place Olympics match. Anyhow, Birgit is the Marilyn Manson of Soccer, just without makeup. It's odd, Germany seems to attract famous males singers. Trent Reznor played goal for them for quite some time unitl he had that acl injury:
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    *shouts out to Redcard*
     
  15. defensewins

    defensewins Member

    Nov 15, 1999
    #15 defensewins, Sep 22, 2007
    butch yes, hottie? [​IMG]


    She's sporting a 5'oclock shadow in this one:
    [​IMG]
     
  16. kickinthehead

    kickinthehead Member

    Mar 17, 2006
    #16 kickinthehead, Sep 22, 2007
    I don't know what you're talking about - I can barely see anything. I'm blinded by the bright, shiny trophy she's holding. Which makes her even HOTTER.

    :)
     
  17. kickinthehead

    kickinthehead Member

    Mar 17, 2006
    #17 kickinthehead, Sep 22, 2007
    What? Silke is MUCH more handsome than Trent, manlier, too. Hot, is what she is. Hot is what the US couldn't score on. Again, Birgit is much manlier than Manson, that wussie little wanna-be badass. I'd gladly carry La Divina's soccer balls anytime. I wouldn't mind being her soccer b*tch. Or Silke's for that matter.

    As for tears, those are for girlie teams like the US.
     
  18. Bonnie Lass

    Bonnie Lass Moderator
    Staff Member

    Lyon
    Norway
    Oct 20, 2000
    Up top
    Club:
    Olympique Lyonnais
    #18 Bonnie Lass, Sep 23, 2007
    I don't remember limericks being this hard ...

    :nods: OLY 2000. Out-********ing-standing.

    But, so as not to damage my newfound relationship with dw, I present to her the following:

    There was once a girlie from Munich,
    Whose gender was thought of as punic,
    She collapsed on the pitch,
    In a fit of jock itch,
    And now she's a guaranteed eunuch


    (Tell me again why we don't resort to xenophobic remarks like the men's fans? It's so much easier.)
     
  19. HMadass

    HMadass New Member

    Sep 22, 2007
    #19 HMadass, Sep 23, 2007
    Wow, that mug shot of Prinz could easily be mistaken for a less attractive and yet more masculine version of Mike Seaver.

    Dear lord, and I was trying to convince myself to cut her a break and give her credit for wearing earrings when she goes out in public...

    which incidentally, seems to be what a lot of the ladies of soccer do in lieu of make-up. Seriously, I'd break out the concealer because the earrings don't really hide your face as well.
     
  20. Nillan

    Nillan New Member

    Apr 30, 2005
    Lund Sweden
    Club:
    LdB FC Malmö
    Nat'l Team:
    Sweden
    #20 Nillan, Sep 23, 2007
    It seems it´s time for Norway to put down the foot and beat
    Germany on Wednesday.
    B. Prinz is old now and not as good as she use to be, so no problems
    for the young and the quick in Norway.

    HEJA NORGE :D:D:
     
  21. M9fanatic

    M9fanatic Member

    Oct 31, 2000
    North Side.
    #21 M9fanatic, Sep 23, 2007
    Nuttuck United can kiss my ass!

    Fifa needs to institute mandatory jock checks.
     
  22. Bonnie Lass

    Bonnie Lass Moderator
    Staff Member

    Lyon
    Norway
    Oct 20, 2000
    Up top
    Club:
    Olympique Lyonnais
    #22 Bonnie Lass, Sep 23, 2007
    M9! Hell, it's like an old-school BS homecoming! All we had to do was hate on the Germans ...

    Yikes. The more I look at dw's photos, the more I realize Silke makes Briana look dainty.
     
  23. M9fanatic

    M9fanatic Member

    Oct 31, 2000
    North Side.
    #23 M9fanatic, Sep 23, 2007
    Yep... nuttin like some Nuttuck hattin' to bring the Ole fam back together.

    Silke Rottencrotch makes US Navy Seals look dainty.

    That siht aint right... that's not natural.

    [​IMG]

    That's either testosterone or bovine growth hormone.
     
  24. kickinthehead

    kickinthehead Member

    Mar 17, 2006
    #24 kickinthehead, Sep 23, 2007
    She's a stud, baby!

    :)
     
  25. begtodiffer

    begtodiffer New Member

    Oct 28, 2003
    Boston, MA
    Club:
    Boston Breakers
    Nat'l Team:
    Germany
    #25 begtodiffer, Sep 24, 2007
    Conny Pohlers.

    That's all.

    P.S. Go Germany!
     
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