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Ray Hudson (born March 24, 1955 in Gateshead, England) was hired to replace Thomas Rongen as head coach of D.C. United in 2002.

His football career began with Newcastle United in 1973. After four years in the Football League First Division, Hudson moved to the United States, playing for the Fort Lauderdale Strikers of the North American Soccer League from 1977 to 1983. Hudson also played for the Strikers following their move to Minnesota in 1984, which proved to be the NASL's final season.

His coaching career began with the Miami Fusion in the middle of the 2000 season, then led the club to the Supporters Shield in 2001.

His wit and fiery tempermant, honed from the broadcast booth, endeared him to Washington fans and journalists. He once said, "There’s a lot of talent on this team, and I’m talking Anna Nicole Smith type of talent!" upon taking control of the team in 2002. He worked for ESPN's World Cup coverage in 2002, and came up with an amazing quote after the American team drew 1-1 with South Korea in group play. Expounding upon whether U.S. goalkeeper Brad Friedel should be thanking his defenders for their works, he said, "I'll be kissing their bums in the showers."

Despite his personality and love for the home fans (even wearing a Barra Brava jersey on the touchline), United finished at the bottom of the table in the East in 2002, and were ousted in the first round by Chicago Fire in 2003. "Someone get me a blindfold and a cigarette!" he said during a post-game news conference. He was replaced by Peter Nowak in 2004.

Beginning with the 2004-2005 season, Ray Hudson began TV commentating for GolTV. He is a color commentator for European league matches and is co-host of "American Soccer." During the 2006 World Cup, he was a co-host for the English-language segment of the nightly "Gol TV En Alemania" wrapup show.

Hudson keeps spinning great quotes in match commentary and in studio shows:

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"We had just strung like 17 passes together, beautiful silky soccer, and I turn around and see a guy yawning in the crowd. I wanted to jump over the fence and head-butt him."

"This team was as dangerous as my grandmother knitting a quilt."

"I mean, it's astounding. An absolutely incredible, miraculous situation that Rangers are champions now of Scotland. It was drama at its absolute all-time greatest. I mean, two goals within the last two minutes of the game to rob Celtic. Celtic choked right at the end; Rangers are dancing the jig, and eating the haggis until it comes out their ears, followed by whisky shots straightaway after the game, and it's marvelous for McLeish. I'm a Rangers man myself, so I had a good belt of whisky after that game."

"Congratulations, Seamus Malin -- you ugly man. Oh, come on, you didn't think he got (in the Soccer Hall of Fame) on his looks, did you?"

"If Bestie were still around, he'd have Ronaldinho opening beer bottles with those teeth of his. Oh, come on, he didn't get the (FIFA World Player of the Year) award on his looks!"

"The England fans were singing 'God Save The Queen,' and I was shouting, 'God save the rest of us if that's what we're going to have to watch throughout this tournament.' "

"Bruce Arena has to pick these boys up by their jockstraps and put lobsters in their jockstraps because they went down like flies against the Czech Republic, how humiliating to have that happen to a team that was coming out to the world scene seeking respect. What a joke!"

"Ronaldo is looking less like Homer Simpson every day."

"The brown ale will be flowing down the streets of Middlesbrough in vats!"

"Look at the angle. Look at the distance. That is absolutely exquisite. Dynamite finish. It's extraordinario! It's magnifico! When you see it again from this angle, it will take your breath away. It's postage-stamp delivery by a player that is as good going the other way defensively than he is going forward. You cannot give a higher compliment to an absolutely wonderful player who is at the absolute apex of his game! Look at that for confidence! That's world class! That's Zidane, beyond belief! That's an absolute exquisite footballer -- MVP, no question. Magnifico! Extraordinario! That should be in high definition! That wasn't just literature, that was Shakespearan beauty! Ah, God, I'm sorry, I love that guy. If I could love a man, I'd love Dwayne DeRosario!"

"With Switzerland, it's not just about Toblerones and cuckoo clocks anymore."

"That's orgasmic!"

"Genius, genius, genius. Absolutely superb strike. And look, not a smile! What makes this guy smile? I mean, come on, Román, give us a look, give us a smile, baby. I mean, is there anything more exquisite in life than watching this man play football? Look at this! Perfection. [...] That is an orgasmic goal, Phil. We said he treats them like penalties -- that's what he does. Enjoy him while you can, enjoy him at the World Cup next year when he's wearing that beautiful blue and white shirt for Argentina. The man is magic."

"Alexi Lalas looked great, first of all, doing a great Dorian Gray impersonation. He looks younger and younger every day."

"The Vikings are out; lock up the women and children, because Sweden mean business."

"In The Exorcist, Satan had control of Linda Blair for most of the movie, and that didn't work out too good in the end."

"I couldn't put it better myself, whatever the hell 'ickybalookie' means! That's what happening here! Scenes of absolute jubilation for Espanyol! And for myself, impersonally, I can't believe it! I'm not impartial today, I'm an Espanyol fan, I'd hate to say it for the Real Sociedad fans out there and for all the Alavés fans! But this is a team that would not be denied, Espanyol! They kept on hammering at the dam! They were hitting the goalposts, time after time, they kept on believing ... I don't even know who the hell scored!"

"It'll be real interesting when me and dog are watching the game tonight, and we're looking, and I'll kick him a couple of times. The dog is going to get a couple of kicks because of the chances that I believe we missed."

"We stabbed 'em right in the heart and it was beautiful!"

"No one gave us the lickings of a dog coming into the match, but we've come up with a spirit-lifting performance."

"We don't have a ruthless streak. We're like Dracula looking at a beautiful neck and we don't have the fangs to sink in."

"Their two goals were out of Looney Tunes, weren't they?"

"He needs to be on his tippy-toes, like a midget at a urinal."

"We have the slushy in the cup holder. The music is playing. There are no problems, and then all hell breaks loose."

"I'm higher than a hippie at Woodstock!"

(Hernán Crespo dribbling towards Fiorentina frame while outnumbered)"'He'll need help!' (Crespo unleashes fierce near post shot, blocked by GK) 'He'll need help my backside!'"

"I'd knock him out. Bind and gag him, put him in a safe and send him to the bottom of the ocean. Then maybe I'd be able to contain him. When a kid hits stride the way he has, playing with all the confidence and verve that he has, he's virtually indefensible in a lot of ways. You can only try to contain him. He only needs that crack in the door and he will kick it in. Clint Mathis is playing with that much ability right now."

"I mean, how long is it going to take for Real Madrid to substitute. Its obviously not working out for them; for crying out loud a blind man on a galloping horse could see that! (3 minutes later hudson sees Robinho warming up) FINALLY! Thank the LORD!"

"THATS A FIRECRACKER OF A GOAL!" (in response to José Antonio Reyes and his free kick vs Real Sociedad)

"For him [Sven-Göran Eriksson] to come to the United States, you might as well have a martian. He would have a better understanding."

"Because they [England] cannot play football, Lindsay! Because they are a set of neanderthals when they play the game! But in FIFA's eyes, they're No. 4 in the world. Caveman football! Caveman!"

"But I don't know what the hell that is!" (in response to him [Morientes] putting his thumb in mouth after scoring)

"He [David Villa] is as lethal as a Sherman tank!"

"Cannavaro is running around like a three-legged giraffe out there, but it's effective."

"Ruud Van Nistelrooy says to Lilian Thuram, 'You're my little lollipop here tonight, mate!' "

"He's funner than a barrel of monkeys!"

"Brad Davis has class coming out of his earholes."

"It isn't like gravy coming off of meat; it's not that easy."

"As electrifying as a hair dryer thrown into a hot tub, my friend. Absolutely breathtaking! It puts the Haitian Voodoo rattle on this one. When he finishes -- oh! Like Betamax, they do not make them like him anymore! What more can you say? An extraordinary goal by an extraordinary player! That will send these people into their dreams tonight thinking of heavenly things. Absolutely bamboozles his defender with this virtuoso goal ... Look at this, gets all of his angles right, sets it up for himself. Cygan is just a spectator, looks down at him and says, 'That's not human.' And it is not. It is superhuman."

"He was a bigger bust than Dolly Parton."

"That goal was orgasmic!"

"It was better than looking at a wet dream for me!" (In response to a Cambiasso goal)

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Hudsonia - the Wisdom of Ray Hudson is a blog dedicated to Ray Hudson quotes