Ladies and Gentlemen, I have the distinct pleasure of presenting you something that was thought only to exist for other clubs: a European Semifinal. We play Atletico Madrid at some newfangled place called Arsenal Stadium on Thursday, April 26, 2018, and play them in Madrid, at the Vincen...., err, at something called a Wanda Metropolitano, next Thursday, May 3, 2018. The game will be played at 2005 GMT/1505 EST/you really shouldn't be taking a long lunch for this Llama. The game will be televised on the circus that is Fox. Hopefully the undercard will be Celebrity Deathmatch between Warren Barton and Alexi Lalas. Now, on to the important questions: Q. What's a European Semifinal? A. It's a two leg match, much like round of sixteen games. The only difference is that the semifinal is the last match before the final. The final is a single game played at a neutral site. The winner of the final gets this shiny thing called a trophy. Q. When did we start playing at Arsenal Stadium? A. We play at the Emirates Stadium. However, there's this strange cartel of overfed walruses that insists that it's the gatekeeper for all advertising in European competition, which means that stadium naming rights go out the window. That's why Arsenal games in Europe are played at Arsenal stadium. This is unlikely to be a long term problem for Tottenham.