Weird News Thread Part III

From last summer. . .

 

Sounds like he felt the thunder.... from down under.....

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-47702527

 

So St. Louis has bagel slicing issues

1110917161734819841 is not a valid tweet id

https://www.eater.com/2019/3/27/18284283/st-louis-style-bagel-sliced-bagelgate-twitter-meme

 

That pizza looks naked. Drop some accessories on it!

 

Never mind slicing it in squares like a Sicilian pie. I just hope that's not from an actual dining establishment that charges people. Looks more like a 7th grader's first try in Home Ec.

 

That's what St. louis pizza looks like. As to the taste, remember the last time you got pizza to go? Imagine eating the box.

 

The regional variations can be scary. In NH I had one with cheddar mixed with the muzz. Weird shit.

 

There are a lot of places around me that have great pizza. The "official" regional pizzas are not among them. American cheese? Really, Old Forge, Really?

 

I work with a bunch of people from St. Louis who were in town last week. They have beef with all things Chicago, and someone made a crack about their pizza. I remember St. Louis pizza coming up in conversation here in the past and regardless of your perspective, I think almost everyone agreed that it was the worst on the planet, and maybe some other planets as well.

Don't remember the details, but don't they use some sort of artificial cheese-food on it? Cheddar might be a bit wee-id, but at least it's real cheese...

 

@usscouse doesn't happen to be traveling is he?

 

It's bad. It's like eating a hot circle of garbage.

 

Gross. Just gross.

 

Provel has a low melting point, and therefore has a gooey and almost buttery texture at room temperature.

 

I know!

The trademark on the Provel name, first used in 1947, is currently held by the Churny Company, Inc. of Glenview, Illinois. Churny is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Kraft Foods.​

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I had a friend in college who worked as a tour guide at a national park during the summers. One day they were driving to the next point of interest and she had finished her spiel for that portion of the trip, she asked for questions and one of the tourists asked her, "Why don't you mow the grass and clear out some of the brushes between the trees? The forest would look much prettier if it was well kept and clean."

 

You should have to take a test in order to get a passport. I remember many years ago I was in the Milan train station. Some overweight slob in sneakers, white socks about 3/4 up to his knees, shorts, a T-shirt and a baseball cap came up to me and said, "Where kin ah git me sump'n t'eat?"

I looked at him blankly for a second. Then he said, "Oh yew cain't even speak English, cain yew?" At that point I mustered up a generic "foreign" accent and said, Yis. A leetell beet." He repeated his first statement, only a little louder and pointing at his wide-open trap. In a tone that would make my imaginary English teacher proud, I clearly enunciated every word and said, "There are minny restaurant near-bah." He was all, "No, where can I git a hamburger or sump'n lahk that?" There was a friggin Wendy's less than 100 feet away. You could even smell it in the air.

I hope the bastard starved to death.

 

Fuggedaboutit! He was just checkin if da turtle knew his cousin Carmine in da Turtleshell Makers union.

 

and every one who takes the test should pass it and get a passport. Some who have low scores should find that their citizenship has been revoked while they were out of the country and they can't come back.

 

Well, the President of Finland "told" Trump we should rake the forests to prevent forest fires, so maybe this tourist was on to something. Or not!

“I was with the president of Finland and he said: ‘We have, much different, we are a forest nation.’ He called it a forest nation. And they spend a lot of time on raking and cleaning and doing things, and they don’t have any problem.”
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/nov/19/make-america-rake-again-finland-trump-forest-fire

 

From the Karma Department,

https://www.npr.org/2019/04/07/7108...lephant-eaten-by-pride-of-lions-in-south-afri

Rhino poacher killed by an elephant and eaten by some lions

A suspected rhino poacher was killed by an elephant and his remains likely eaten by a pride of lions, park officials in South Africa said.

Kruger National Park rangers received a call last week from the family of the suspected poacher, the park said in a statement issued Friday. According to the family, accomplices of their relative said he was killed by an elephant on Tuesday, while they were in the park to poach rhinos.

The elephant attacked "suddenly," police Brig. Leonard Hlathi told South African news website TimesLive. Hlathi said the man's accomplices claimed to have carried his body to a road before leaving the park.

Rangers began search efforts to find the man's remains and bring the family closure but could not locate a body.

"Indications found at the scene suggested that a pride of lions had devoured the remains leaving only a human skull and a pair of pants," the statement reads. The remains were found in the Crocodile Bridge section of the park.
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They were Hilfiger jeans though so he went out in style. They go on sale next week.

 

I was showing my Kiwi daughter around Stonehenge one morning. As we got back to the carpark there was a group of Americans getting on to their minibus with one woman in a fur coat and southern accent complaining that she'd gotten out of a warm bed to see a pile of rocks.

I noticed she sat alone.