- by women... I think it's about high time for a thread to discuss a phenomenon that I believe, happens much more frequently than we are aware of. because most such incidents occur in the privacy of the home, I think it's one of, if not the most under-reported crimes in our society. it's only when it happens in public, like in this case, that it gets reported, and the woman is charged and arrested. I mean how many guys would actually call the cops on their wife/girlfriend in a domestic violence situation, short the woman actually threatening his life? there's a social stigma against guys calling the police when a woman becomes violent with them. they're just supposed to shrug it off and "be a man." what guy would actually admit that his wife/girlfriend beats him? the social pressure to just shrug it off is significant. this is a great injustice that I believe needs to be addressed!
It happens enough that they have an entire TV series dedicated to it. Or were you referring to "garden-variety" violence against men?
Oh wow, yeah - I guess I don't watch Oxygen enough - which is to say, at all... Good to know they've embraced the cause?
certainly puts my own ex-wife into proper perspective. I mean my ex loved for me to buy her stuff, but in comparison, she's a saint!
Alone (well, with the child sleeping in the other room), I seriously did "lol" upon reading your comment... Thanks!
I think abuse against women is a far bigger problem. I don't know how big a problem domestic abuse against men really is. It is definitely something that society's nowhere near ready to talk about. I will admit in the confidentiality of this forum that it's something I've struggled with. I had a girl who would routinely hit me, throw shit at me, threaten me, bully me. She pulled a knife on me once. In a very real and conscious way, she knew she had me by the proverbial short hairs. She could be violent with me in any manner she wanted and I would never, ever tell anyone for fear of being ridiculed. I mean, I was bigger and stronger than she was, how could I get beaten up by a woman? But of course I couldn't hit her back or she would tell our friends or call the police. In short, she could do whatever she wanted with complete impunity, knowing that I could neither fight back or even tell anyone I was being victimized. She was, quite consciously, using society's expectations of masculinity against me. Just to be clear, I never in my life hit her or any other woman. I recall some basketball player a few years ago (in New Jersey maybe?) who claimed he was being violently abused by his wife and the sports pages had a field day laughing at him. But I sympathized. It's a bad, bad situation to be in.
No shit! Not wanting to deny any individual man's reality or the pains he might have suffered, but female on male violence is far, far less common an occurrence than the other way around. Yet this is the kind of nonsense men's rights group come up with to "disprove" male privilege.
Hmmm. Odd. When I was in 6th and 7th grade, living in a rough area that had a lot of fighting, some of the girls were physical bullies. No special rules for them. You could punch them in the face if they were asking for it. But you might get your ass kicked if they were bigger.
my post was sort of in jest, but I think it happens more than people realize. I was married to a bipolar crazy B who would get physically violent with me on occasion. it can only end in divorce. we were married about 3.5 years. I remember just being kind of incredulous the first time she hit me. like wtf is wrong with you?? are we not adults? is this how adults resolve their differences? but one thing I've learned from the experience - if it happens once, it will happen again. and the only solution is divorce - and the sooner, the better.
I think it's hard, if not impossible to prove this. guys don't generally talk about or report such violence. so my guess is that the vast majority of cases go unreported. my ex actually told me in a voicemail that she used to hit her previous ex-boyfriend as well. I do agree that violence against women is the bigger problem. but not because it is more common (it may be, but I don't think the figures are very reliable), but because generally, guys are bigger and stronger than women, and can and do inflict much more damage.
with kids, it's different. I think kids are a lot more likely to differentiate based on age than sex. I had the same mental block against hitting my ex back that Q*bert talked about. it never even entered my mind to ever hit her back. in my mind, it just isn't something a man does, no matter what a woman may do to him - unless I guess he felt his life was in danger. but usually, I would just laugh. which would just piss her off that much more.
I'm not that chivalrous. Well I think. I haven't been hit by a female in about 40 years, so I suppose I don't know for certain.
I'm not sure if it's necessarily chivalry. I haven't hit a guy either in my adult life. in my mind, it's just not something that a grown-up does. it's not how a mature, well-adjusted adult resolves his/her differences with others. the last fight I was in was in junior high.