To the kids? Yes, only the goals matter. Everything else is for parents that like to suck the fun out of the game by rewinding a 5-yard square pass 15 times.
I'd say 90% of the "top teams" in my son's age group want the kids who run around like idiots, not keeping their position, still ball hogging at age 15. He went to an open practice last week, and it was a huge difference. Passing, positions, working together, smart play. I do feel that my son is very unmotivated when he sees teammates who know nothing about the game - despite many being first-generation Americans with parents from "soccer countries". We find him the best trainers, but it's almost impossible to find the best team because so many pick flash and energy over skill and teamwork.
That was the best. With Toby Charles, soccer made in germany. I still have most of their weekly program guide.
Aggression is one of the biggest challenges for young players especially in girls Soccer. Most girls have been brought up to be shy and timid so breaking out of their shell on the Soccer field can be a problem. If she says she likes playing Soccer, that is the most important thing. If she just wants to play and have fun, then it doesn't really matter if she is aggressive or not but if she wants to improve and be the best player she can be, she is going to have to realize the advantages of being aggressive on the Soccer field. If she wants to be successful on the field she has to learn to be more aggressive. That is the bottom line. Somehow you have to get across to her, that if she wants to play at top level she can't be afraid to get her socks dirty and make that ball her own. For more advice check out this Youtube channel: [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R2Fux-ajMc"]Become A Better Soccer Player[/ame] Best of Luck. Keep me posted on her progress.
I think someone mentioned this already in this thread, but I thought I'd add my own, recent experience. We had a girl whose effort dramtically dropped off. She was fiery at the beginning of the season and she suffered a knock in one game midseason and just lost all her fight. But about 2-3 months later she'd yet to rediscover her fight. I ran into her mom in the grocery store and apparently my assistant had spoken to her about the drop off. Anyway, mom told me that there's stuff going on at home (either financial or divorce or both) that the daughter was now old enough to understand. Anyway, there's other stuff that could be influencing lack of effort. To me, it's another reason that the soccer environment be a fun environment (as opposed to always competitively driven). Sometimes, it's the kid's only refuge from stuff going on at home. Additionally, it may not be in-home issues. Could be abuse from an unknown source, bullying at school.
I am attempting to resurrect this topic, because I would love to hear how some of the previous players have done on their effort levels over time, and hear about any other stories people have. My 8-year old daughter has issues that appear to be effort-related, and not just in soccer. She is also a swimmer, and all the parents have noticed that she swims really well and fast in practice and then appears to get nervous at swim meets and swims completely differently. Soccer is harder to figure out. It doesn't appear to be an issue of nerves. She is in an Academy and also plays travel soccer. Academy is very low-key environment, and there usually aren't many/any people watching but a couple of parents and the coaches. But still there is this dramatic difference in her play day to day. Here is an example: -- Last Wednesday Academy, played with 7-10 year old boys and girls. Was really slow moving, several players dribbled around her in a 2 v 2 drill, was better in the 4 v 4 passing/scrimmage, but still not moving to the ball well or getting open. -- Friday Academy, played with 9-11 year old boys and girls. Started out slowly in a 2 v 2 scrimmage, but then in the 3 v 2 scrimmage with small goals started "coming alive." Was dribbling around the older kids, using moves (she loves the Puskus), stealing the ball, making quick passes, popping it into the net. One older boy tried to get her off the field by telling her she had to get her knee bandaged (it was bleeding slightly) and she ignored him. She was dominating a group of older kids, playing aggressively to repeatedly gain and keep possession of the ball. -- This Wednesday Academy, played with 7-11 year old boys and girls. Looked like a different player. Moved very slowly and lost the ball almost every time she got it, one time when passed to let the ball go between her legs. Didn't try to keep the ball when she had it, wasn't playing physically at all. Didn't use any moves when attempting to dribble. She didn't seem particularly thrilled with her play on Friday or particularly bummed out at her play on Wednesday. I try not to say anything other than point out what she did well on (e.g., on the second Wednesday she was doing a better job of not "diving in" while defending the more advanced dribblers.) but other than that I don't comment. She seems really happy when I point out what she did well. In the past, when I have asked "you seemed maybe a little tired today" I get a confused look and she doesn't seem to know what I mean, so I stay away from asking although part of me wants to ask "What happened today?!?!" Anyway, I am at a loss why this major difference in play. If I had just seen Wed Academies, I would think she is at most an average player. I would also think she has an issue with speed and quickness. After seeing Friday, I would think that she has some real talent and ability, including an ability to make quick decisions and to move quickly against kids older than her. Totally different player. I would love to hear any insights any parents have about variations in effort/ performance. Is it age-related or a personality characteristic? Do some kids "come out of it" or is it just part of the way some kids are -- they have more pronounced ups and downs than most kids?
The main reason for her inconsistent performances is that she's 7 years old. She's 7. Just watch and enjoy. Her identity as a player won't be formed for many years. What the parent should be looking to get out of this stage is for their kid to develop a love for the game and develop a touch and feel for the ball. Hitting those two major areas and a couple of other minor aspects (develop coordination and balance and a functional understanding of the rules of the game) will really get them ready for the next phase (11-14).
I don't know, in our case, my 10 year old has not gotten better since 7, and is still afraid of the ball and hesitant, if there are other players around. She has been improving greatly with individual ball skills. You have to support them and wait until they "get it". And it still might be variable. I find that in soccer, the kids who run around a lot but have less skill will always be picked by the coaches. It is very frustrating to play on a team of 11 players, and have four of them running around out of position. Yet those players running around, chasing the ball (and I am talking as old as HS age now), are the ones who get picked, the ones who show potential. A thoughtful player who scores a lot and gets a lot of assists due to positioning and great 1 v. 1 *when someone is in their area* will get ignored and lose playing time. It may be more a part of having fun. I play sports to do my best, and what I lack in skill, I make up for in effort (like playing hockey and getting matching penalties against their best player ). My oldest is 16, and he could be great, but he just isn't part of the time due to effort. He will still likely play college soccer, but he has missed opportunities time and again because his frustration with players who run around with idiots leads him to focus more on playing his position, which makes it look like he is standing still to coaches (he isn't). At age 7, consider modeling effort for her. I have been working out with my younger kids, and we use treadmills. Switching between walking and running shows them the difference, and I use that analogy for soccer and other sports. Also keep your ears open - it is possible if there is some negative banter, she is affected by it, or even a coach telling her where or how to play. Some kids have a mental aspect of the game that other kids just don't have, and those other kids just play and play 100% without thinking. Like the forward who gets 30 shots per game and is lucky to nail one of them; must be better than the forward who has four shots per game and hits two.
We're taking sample sizes of 1 into consideration here. What other factors come into play? I had a great little kid great ball skills but "low motor". Never got out of it even at U12. BUT I pieced together insight into her home life: McDonald's coming out of the van for practice, saw her dad at the market with shopping carts full of junk food, she plays on three soccer teams (2 competitive, 1 rec), she swims, she has a lot of weekends with sleepovers. Then there's church youth group too. And school. So she was "low motor" because she was malnourished and un-rested. I have kids with home problems that are low effort. Sorry, the treadmill thing sounds a bit ridiculous. If it works for you, great. But I do agree with the modelling advice. The hardest part is finding someone who can model appropriately. As I said in other thread . . . what you see on the field is the player's "default setting". It's habit. Evolve their habits, takes time, might take until about U10. 1v1s/2v2s in small areas are great at this age because there's no hiding. Full-sided games are awful for this because the play can be too far away from them.
She is really affected by negative banter, or any banter, that is one thing I have been able to determine over time. And it appears she gets her fair share of it, mostly when she is playing with boys; at Academy she is often the only girl playing (the boys seem to be more likely to offer "comments" to her). So that could be part of it. I also appreciate comments about just letting her develop (elessar) -- I know that is the best advice to heed, but I agree with previous posters that is really hard sometimes when it is evident (eg.from Friday's Academy) that she can do so much better.
I started this thread a couple of years ago. Having lived through it myself I would guess that your daughter just doesn't care about her performance as much as you do. Its not that important weather she is really dominating or just wandering around. She is 7, it probably shouldn't matter to her. She wants to play with the other kids, socialize and when in the mood play soccer. Thats pretty normal I think. Its a small percentage that really want to work hard everyday at such a young age. If she continues to like soccer she will do better as she gets older. My daughter still has occasional games where she really just doesn't try hard. They are fewer and fewer though. My recommendation is to give her tons of positive feedback and stay away from any negative feedback. When she gets to be older and not everyone gets equal playing time, she may run into a coach who benches her for lack of effort. That's a good time to have a conversation about effort.
At the horse track... (Looks at the racing form...) "Man, look at the pedigree on that one!" "Bullet workouts and has won the last three races!" (Goes to the paddock to look at the horse...) "Wow, he's huge! Look at those muscles!" (Places huge bet, watches the post parade...) "Why is he all sweaty and jittery?" (Gate opens, race is run, horse finishes dead last.) Horses aren't robots. Neither are your kids.
Frankly I feel if the positive feedback is there she will develop into a very fine player who LOVES the sport. Thereby she will less then likely be the one getting benched to begin with. Good program+good coach+positive parent(s) does not always equal a great all around player. The number one part of that equation which is usually missing is confidence. Once that hits everything else will fall into place. When it does it's a whole lot of fun to watch.
Thanks so much to all -- glad to hear oldntired that for yours it was something grown out of. And I appreciate the comments about positive reinforcement and just letting her grow and gain her confidence as a player. It is really good to take a step back from the situation and hear experience -- it is easy sometimes to get too close to see clearly. I recently gained some new insight into the situation: she told me yesterday that she doesn't want to go her Academy clinic, because she didn't have fun on Wednesday. She is signed up through the end of August, so I reminded her that we made that commitment. She said, "but I didn't have fun!" I reminded her that she had a lot of fun last Friday at Academy, and that she shouldn't decide she doesn't want to go to something because she had one bad day. She did not argue with me about Friday, which she certainly would have if she hadn't had so much fun that day. I am going to make her go, but if she has a horrible time the next two times, I am thinking of letting her drop the rest of August -- I don't want to ruin her excitement to play. The Academy has some very good players there, and it really pushes her to play her best. It is hard. She has to hustle and do her very best to keep up with these players, whereas other situations she can be less focused and still keep up -- so maybe she isn't finding that "fun" right now, and thus the lackluster / up and down performance. Are there times you have to push them through a hard time, or is it better to back off (after all, season practice starts in a couple of weeks)? I definitely don't expect her to be a robot but I'm not sure that will help her confidence to quit the Academy just because she had a bad day against tough players. The next day may be the best one yet (like Friday was).
Perfect time for the slushy method! My u7 is in a very skilled summer camp and here's what happened so far. Day 1 - wanted to go but when we got there she was affriad. Wanted to quick after 45 minutes but then made a social connection and came off the field at the end very happy. Day 2 - Excited to go but at the end did not like it - the other players were not good enough. She was right - she was much better but the skills training was worth it so I suggested we stop by our favorite summer spot and talk it over (slurpy). Day 3 - She was excited and made it all the way through - asked if we could stop for a slurpy and we did. Day 4 - Friends showed up - she was exstatic! She did not ask, but we stopped for a slurpy anyhow. Day 5 - Cousin - who she stays with during the summer, wanted to go. She asked on the way there if we could stop for a slurpy on the way back and I said yes - exstatic. This goes on for the better part of the summer... So a little bribe turned out to make it fun for her. When she gets older she can tell her kids how her and dad used to always stop for slurpies and who knows - maybe she will do that with her kids when I am pushing up daisies.
I love it -- slurpee and shared time with Dad. On my end, probably buying her a gatorade out of the machine at the end of Academy and her drinking it in the car isn't quite enough -- no way that can compete with a shared slurpee experience! I think you have effectively boiled it down to what is important to a 6-8 year old....