To Barros Schelotto

Discussion in 'Columbus Crew' started by S134R1S5, Jun 12, 2009.

  1. HSH_b

    HSH_b New Member

    Feb 28, 2008
    Cbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Barros Schelotto was the only person to never die from dysentery on the Oregon Trail.
    [​IMG]
    To Barros Schelotto!!
     
  2. S134R1S5

    S134R1S5 Member

    Aug 19, 2006
    Columbus of course
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I once saw Schelotto play hacky sack with a medicine ball.

    To Barros Schelotto!
     
  3. S134R1S5

    S134R1S5 Member

    Aug 19, 2006
    Columbus of course
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Schelotto knows everything Bo knows and much, much more.

    To Barros Schelotto!
     
  4. 9 Rush

    9 Rush Member

    Sep 9, 2004
    C'bus
    Schelotto once went twos up with the two Jessicas: Alba and Biel.

    To Barros Schelotto!
     
  5. footy5

    footy5 Member

    Feb 27, 2008
    The D
    There is no such thing as global warming. Guillermo was cold, so he turned the sun up.

    Some kids play kick the can. Guillermo played kick the keg.

    Guillermo wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

    To Barros Schelotto!
     
  6. naas

    naas Member

    Oct 6, 2008
    Centerville/Dayton, OH
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Barros Schelotto is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

    Barros Schelotto can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

    Barros Schelotto destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

    To Barros Schelotto
     
  7. BG13

    BG13 Member+

    Jun 25, 2007
    At Barros Schelotto's bachelor party, he ate the entire cake before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it!

    To Barros Schelotto!
     
  8. DAK77

    DAK77 Member+

    Nov 10, 2008
    Merion Village, OH
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I saw Schelotto drown Aquaman.
     
  9. Dave Brull

    Dave Brull Member

    Mar 9, 2001
    Mayfield Hts, Ohio
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    True story:

    My uncle was in the hospital undergoing a kidney transplant when the doctor called out that they were losing him. Sure enough, Guillermo showed up and instantly assessed the situation. He came out to the waiting room and removed my kidney using only his feet. With a series of deft touches he dribbled the kidney into the operating room where he completed the operation, closing the wound by kicking a spool of thread from the corner.

    Not only did my uncle recover, he can now piss on the Fire.

    To Guillermo!
     
  10. bradd

    bradd Member

    Jun 11, 2008
    Detroit, MI
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    So I was watching the History Channel the other day and was watching a show on the Top 10 World Records for buildings demolished. Did you know that in all but 1 of those top 10 demolitions they didn't really use explosives? They just called in Barros Schelotto who then urinated on the side of the buildings and they instantaneously collapsed. Interesting side note, in the 10th demolition that they showed, the business tried to not use Barros Schelotto and instead attempted explosives (dumbasses). Well, the building fell over on to a school and killed 379 children. The company president's final words before he hung himself after the tragedy was reported as being "I should have used Barros Schelotto...."

    To Barros Schelotto!
     
  11. Draghignazzo

    Draghignazzo Member+

    Feb 24, 2007
    Columbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    God cannot create a rock so big that he cannot lift it, but Barros Schelotto already made two!

    ...to Barros Schelotto!!
     
  12. Draghignazzo

    Draghignazzo Member+

    Feb 24, 2007
    Columbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
  13. S134R1S5

    S134R1S5 Member

    Aug 19, 2006
    Columbus of course
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Schelotto invented Bob Saget.

    To Barros Schelotto!
     
  14. Pathogen

    Pathogen Member

    Jul 19, 2004
    Like you care.
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Barros Schelotto was once asked about the possibility of finding Mitochondrial Eve. He said with a wink a smile "Been there, done that. She was alright."

    To Barros Schelotto!
     
  15. HardHatMike

    HardHatMike DOOOOOOOOM!

    Traktor Nebraska
    Aug 31, 2005
    Lincoln, Nebraska
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    fyp.
     
  16. ZACicker

    ZACicker Member

    Jun 2, 2007
    Louisville, KY
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    And they barely get in the way despite hanging between his goal scorin' appendages.
     
  17. TheUltra

    TheUltra Member

    Mar 23, 2008
    2.4 Miles from home
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    He's been know to wrestle sasquatch for recreational purposes.
     
  18. HardHatMike

    HardHatMike DOOOOOOOOM!

    Traktor Nebraska
    Aug 31, 2005
    Lincoln, Nebraska
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    In fact, Barros Schelotto was the technical adviser for Jack Link's Messin With Sasquatch commercials.

    TO BARROS SCHELOTTO!!!
     
  19. OU9601

    OU9601 Member

    Jul 12, 2003
    Lancaster, Ohio
    There is no April 1st in Barros Schelotto's life, because nobody fools Barros Schelotto.

    To Barros Schelotto!
     
  20. m vann

    m vann Moderator
    Staff Member

    Colorado Rapids, Celtic FC, & Louisville City
    Sep 10, 2002
    Denver, CO
    Club:
    Celtic FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    The Crew Commandments:

    1. You shall not want another Gullermo Barros Schelotto; there is only one.
    2. You shall not make wrongful use of the name of Guillermo Barros Schelotto, our striker, for the Crew and The Nordecke will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.
    3. Observe the Schelotto signing and keep it holy, as the Crew, our team commanded you.
    4. Honor our Guillermo Barros Schelotto and his #7
    5. You shall not murder his last name
    6. Neither shall you commit adultery with a TFC supporter, Schelotto will disown you
    7. Neither shall you steal the thunder of Schelotto; he deserves it all.
    8. Neither shall you bear false witness against Gullermo Barros Schelotto
    9. Neither shall you covet our opponents #7
    10. Neither shall you desire our opponents stadium, or pitch, or trophy case, or striker, or anything that belongs to our crappy opponents


    To Barros Schelotto!!! :D
     
  21. Draghignazzo

    Draghignazzo Member+

    Feb 24, 2007
    Columbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    MLS Refs are doomed to an afterlife in Toronto for consistently violating the 8th Commandment!
     
  22. gem440

    gem440 Member

    Sep 9, 2008
    Columbus,OH
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    You forgot the 11th Commandment.
    If Schelotto gets your wife or girlfriend pregnant, you FIRST thank Schelotto then God for the blessing.
    Anything less would be considered blaspehmous and condemn you to a slow and excruciatingly painful death.
    Or worse forced to wear a tfc jersey in public.


    TO BARROS SCHELOTTO:D:D
     
  23. Dave Brull

    Dave Brull Member

    Mar 9, 2001
    Mayfield Hts, Ohio
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Haha, you fell for the oldest trick in the book, the same used in the movie Airheads to out the nefarious music rep.

    You don't thank Schelotto, then God. Schelotto IS God.
     
  24. Eggy

    Eggy New Member

    May 28, 1999
    CBUS
    I let Schelotto drive a bulldozer over my house. It did $100,000 worth of improvements.
     
  25. The Misanthrope

    Aug 8, 2008
    Columbus Ohio
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Recent reports from have exposed a very unusual clause in the contract of David Beckham,

    "Club hereby agrees not to require said player to hold the jock strap of Guillermo Barros Schelotto, due to the fact that they are not actually capable of holding his jock strap"

    To Barros Schelotto
     

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