Similar to the response to a whistle for a challenge above the knee level. The perp says, "Ref, I got the ball!" "Yeah? The left one or the right one?" I mean, really, kid, you want to come in with your foot above the knee and argue that you were playing the ball?
OK, now this was weird. "What was the call ref?" Blonde, pretty. "Let me clarify. Are you arguing the call?" She frowns, thinks. "Yes." Turns and starts walking away. "I'm sorry to hear that, it's the wrong answer. Come back." She comes back. Yellow card. "This is for dissent." She frowns again, turns and walks away. And I wake up. Strangely troubled by the dream, I frown, think. "Who was that player?" And realize she was Saga Norén, the Aspergered detective played by Sofia Helin in Bron|Broen, the terrific Swedish original version of The Bridge that I've been binge-watching. Definitely too much of something. Soccer? TV? The pecan pie with ice cream right before bed? Equally strange, I think this was the first time I've ever dreamed about actually being on the field during a match. All my previous ref'ing dreams have been about not being able to find the field or being on the wrong field, variations of the old I-have-an-important-exam-and-I'm-late-and-can't-find-the-right-room.
one, two Noren's coming for you. three, four, what was the whistle for? five, six, was that a direct or indirect kick seven, eight, Did she simulate? nine, ten, never mix pie and ice cream before bed again... sorry...
What's your technique for doing so? I think this is definitely a case where everyone's personality informs the way they do this, but I have no good back-pocket response to this that doesn't feel like I'm coming over the top with the players (I try to limit large lectures, in particular around things like dissent, which I feel make me look like I have less control). Sometimes I give a quick explanation (as if they were asking the question earnestly) while I'm running into position for the free kick, though especially with boys that gets me precisely nowhere; sometimes I just run. I haven't found a way to leave those interactions with more across-the-pitch credibility than I started with on a regular basis. I don't love any of them, so I'm interested in what others do.
Don't use an elephant gun when a fly swatter will do. It's easy, early on, to have a very short, quiet word with the player. "We're not arguing calls today." and then get out of the area. You've said everything that needed to be said. Not a threat, but a clear direction. This isn't their first rodeo. They know that you've got cards, even if, sometimes, especially with teenage boys, they feel the need to see if you will actually use them. The public word becomes necessary when the arguing/dissent is threatening to spread. You are NOT required to "explain" calls. Again, depending on the player, some are, shall we say, actually curious. Others ask so they can then dissent. I think experience is going to be the best teacher of how to recognize which kind of player you've got here. If it's the latter case, recognize that they aren't really asking for an explanation, so don't offer one. Back up to the bigger issue, the dissent. "Hey! No more!" accompanied by the baseball safe signal, volume adjusted to the situation. Or "You want to play or you want to argue?" Nothing to be gained by saying more than one sentence.
My version is, loud enough for all to hear, "Listen, we are not going to have a game where you criticize every call you don't like. Nobody wants to hear 80 minutes of that.
I may use that. Player/coach/spectator: "But this game is only 60 minutes." Me: "It will feel like 80 if you keep whining like that."
"You're welcome to leave early. Behave poorly, and I will ensure it." As to the question about dissent and dealing publicly. "It is your job to make plays and my job to make calls. This game will be much more enjoyable for all of us if we stick to our jobs. I guarantee you don't want me making plays. So I will do what I came to do, and you should do the same."
My favorite on this type of dissent came from a female CR doing a u16g's match. First :30, girl complains about a foul call. Ref: tonight, go home, read the book. Come back to me in a week, let me know. The girl didn't have an answer.
My 'favorite' is "How is that NOT a foul?!" Love that one. One sentence is best for the players and the referees, too. My poor brain just doesn't work in paragraphs during play. Most important don't describe why you made the call if they are just complaining. That's a tar baby you want no part of. A quickie that I have developed for the annoying 13/14 age complainer is: "You need to get yourself a Yellow shirt", while tugging my jersey and giving a big smile. The smile keeps things on the light side, and drives them crazy.
Midfield play, one girl trying to play with her body, an opponent with foot above their waists misses the ball but gets her opponent. Tweet. Coach: "what's the call?" Me, a bit perplexed as it seemed awfully obvious, "Kicking." Coach: "You're kidding. This is soccer." (Head coach apologized for him after the game ....)
U14 girls' coach: "That was a passback to the keeper! You're not going to call that? Unbelievable!" "If it was I didn't see it coach. Sorry." He keeps going, blah blah blah, loudly and at length. Tweet, and I run over. "Coach, if I missed it I'm sorry. But I've heard you. Enough." "And you expect me to be OK with that?" "No sir, I expect you to be done with it." ... "OK."
U10G. I get to the part of the pregame check about jewelry. One girl starts to take off her earrings. A second says she can't take hers out. I ask if they are welded to her ears and she said she just got them pierced yesterday. I said the holes won't close in an hour. She asked if she could put tape over them. I said sure, but she still couldn't play with the earrings in. A third asked about her Fitbit. I said it had to come off. She said the last referee let her wear it. Her coach said "This referee is older, knows better, and is right. Take it off." A fourth, the keeper, said "since I wear gloves, I can keep my wedding ring on, right?" I laughed. Usually it is one player with jewelry issues. Never had three before.
The player's. I won't wear one. Even after five short-sided games in one day, a Fitbit would tell me "You're done already?"
I'm taking a break from using the word careless. The last time I tried to explain to a player it was a fouls because she was careless and needed to be a bit more careful, she broke into tears . . . .
For the first time in quite a while, a losing visiting coach (2-6) approached me after the game and walked with me the parking lot. We actually had a good laugh or two, and asked my AR why he didn't call his own players offside on a free kick from the eighteen. Classy guy. He just didn't want to face questions from parents. Refreshing. I just realized, that sounds like a DJT tweet.