Ray had several classics today in the Dep. La Coruna vs. Real Madrid match: "Watch this one: Arizmendi tiptoes through the tulips -- how does he miss this one? Ah, Lordy, Homer Simpson could have put that one away." "Well, Capello has more integrity than a rat like Nick Saban."
from the U20 concacaf world cup quali US v. Haiti: "It's that kind of passing that will have Thomas kissing their bums in the shower."
I fell out of my chair when I heard that. They will be replaying the game on GOLTV at 1 p.m. this afternoon if you want to record it. A Ray Hudson instant classic!
From today's Valencia v Atl. Madrid game... "Ayala rises up out of his grave like Dracula and sinks in the fangs" Damn I miss that dude
Last week on GOL TV, mentioning the shape of the half-constructed covered stands at Dick's Sporting Goods Park in Denver: "Now, what is that? Look at that! It looks like a broken window, man! Listen, if that stand was an animal, it would be a kangaroo! Look at the state of it! It's like, it's neither fish nor fowl! I'm not talking about the facility, the facility's fine. The roof! Look at it! It is a joke! It looks like somebody built it like a Lego! It looks like it's been built by two Irish carpenters that said, 'I've cut it twice, and it's still too short!' It doesn't fit! I mean, it looks like it's been connected by Lego parts! It's going to be a great facility, there's no question, Colorado's going to be proud of it, truly fabulous! But the roof, man. Lord, give us a proper roof!"
Last night on GolTVs Soccer USA show, he was frothing at the mouth about criticism against Reyna (and Arena's decision to sign him) and all the over-praise for Beckham - We'll see what his reaction is in April/May and June/July
He was in great form in the Real Betis-Seville derby: "High, wide and ugly!" -- a missed penalty kick "Beauty and the beast, right there!" -- a crowd shot of an average joe sitting next to a pretty blonde "And Robert fills his pants on that one!" -- when Robert shot the ball into the goalie on a breakaway
On Ronaldinho's beauty free kick.... "Bend it like Beckham? Give me a break. Ronaldinho bends light."
On Ronaldinho's second goal on a header... "He knows who provided the service. He's going to say....I'm going to buy you a table dance tonight Deco"
Ray Hudson gets to do about four matches on weekends, plus American Soccer on Wednesdays. When it comes to futbol, he is "appointment television." I love the table-dance reference, too.
"Luis Fernandez, the Betis coach, wearing that Perry Como-type sweater, and, well, he has his boys playing the kind of football that Perry Como would be embarrassed to be linked with." "Ah! Justice is served! There is a God in Heaven, and he's wearing a Sevilla shirt!" "Play on! Play around the dead bodies in a derby!"
"I think Kanoute may have him by the chest hairs in the shower -- 'How the hell did you miss that?' " "Both sides letting fish off the hook the size of sperm whales! A sperm whale isn't a fish, is it? It's a mammal. But you know what I mean." "Ah, Assuncao, you naughty boy, you got away with one! You should be in the yellow book!" Gotdamn, the Betis-Sevilla match is probably his best work ever!
"Let's see what Golden Balls can do with this one." -- shortly before Beckham's free kick goal last weekend.
"This referee keeps on calling everything inconsistently. Either that, or he's a crap referee." -- during the Mexico-Costa Rica U-20 qualifier.
Ray was on another planet with Sociedad-Zaragoza, calling one goal a product of "extraterrestrial football." At another juncture, a goalie made such a good save, Ray said, "I wish I could go down there and kiss him."
I don't even know where to start quoting Ray after todays Barca v Real Madrid game. I think he might have blown a microchip or two Helluva a game to watch though....
You need to educate us; my landlord changed from DirecTV to Verizon FIOS and I don't have GolTV ... yet.
You are not kidding. I am going to write it down and post it because this kind of brilliance needs to be perserved. After Barca's last goal, he went ona long tangent on how this game nees to "be hung up in the louvre" because it "represents the best of human nature" and therefore should be "shown to the martians". Tonight i will go back and write it out verbatim. I love ray hudson.
"Cool as a salmon sam'ich". As soon as I heard that, I knew it belonged here for all eternity to marvel over. Martians are going to come down and read these boards and find that Ray Hudson is our spiritual leader in most respects. Thx, Jay!
Fcuk. I really have to get my landlord to get the extra sports tier on the Verizon FIOS. I have been having serious Ray Hudson withdrawal symptoms.