The 2018 Table :: Magic Numbers, Tragic Numbers & Other Curious Quantities

This is the biggest one I could find. It has 34 slots for toast. That number rings a bell in relation to the MLS season for some reason.

 

My god! That is the equivalent of Joel Osteen's church in Houston (where 45K people get toasted every Sunday):

 

I'm guessing turning that on would make the lights dim.

 

Hell. That thing would cause rolling blackouts in some countries.

 

It's made by Rowlett in the U.K. They do not list any specs for it, but they also make a 4, 6, 8, and 12 slice version. Based on the wattage draw of those versions (and my own admittedly limited knowledge of things electric), I figure it uses around 17,500 watts. I am going out on a limb here and positing that you may quite possibly be correct regarding the lights dimming. It may also quite possibly lead to a somewhat higher electricity bill with regular use.

 

I'm going with the heretical notion that toast doesn't apply when there is only one or two games left given anything can happen. Even Colorado can have a two-game winning streak (it's happened twice this year) and Dallas a two-game losing streak (it happened).

However, a three game winning streak is much less likely. Sorry Vancouver.

 

That's not Heresy. We discuss that every year. Under 5 games things get wonky.

 

What a croque monsieur!

 

Does that make the last 5 games the Advent of the Toast? Or would it be the Lent (since the season is reaching its end)?

 

Right. The whole thing about "toast" is trying to figure out when a set of fans can go ahead and divest themselves of stressing about the current season - because their team is toast.

It's an effort to measure when you can relax.

Once there's only a few games left, none of that really matters. You've already stressed about pretty much the whole season, so making or not making the playoffs is basically secondary.

EDIT:

I'm a KU basketball fan. I don't want them to get upset the first weekend if the tournament, but that's still preferable to losing in the Sweet Sixteen or Elite 8. I save a whole two weeks of my year by being able to stop caring when they do. On the other hand if they lose in the semifinals, it doesn't really save me any stress. I've spend the whole tournament on edge by that point.

Toast is about knowing that you can escape the mental anguish early. Once we get to week 30 of 34, you're already in for the duration.

 

I can't remember the last time I was stressed about the Rapids in week 30. 2013? (By week 30 in 2016 the only question was if we would win the Shield or not, not exactly 'stressful')

 

And sacred kitchenware is kitchenware!

 

Good news @Knave , your beloved Sounders clinched the playoffs again! Toast Jesus be praised!

 

And wooden spoons are made of wood.

Hey, does anyone know who has the most "wins" in the MLS wooden spoon competition?

 

Answering my own question (how cheesy it that!), the MLS team that has won the Wooden Spoon the most times is a three-way tie between the San Jose Clash/Earthquakes, DC United and Chicago Fire all having won the Wooden Spoon three times each. Toronto and NY RedBulls/Metrostars have won the Wooden Spoon twice and Colorado, New England, Tampa Bay Mutiny, Dallas Burn/FC Dallas, Chivas LA, Columbus, Vancouver, Montreal and LA Galaxy all having won the Wooden Spoon once. The Tampa Bay Mutiny have the distinction of having won the Wooden Spoon with the least amount of points in a season, 14, after which they folded. And for all you Canada-haters, all three of the MLS Canadian teams have won the Wooden Spoon at least once.

Sooo, if San Jose really tries hard, they can win the Wooden Spoon a fourth time and be the "best" in the MLS.

 

Here's hoping that Portland gets 57 points and ends up in the 5th seed. Would make for a stark contrast to 53 points and the 1st seed last year.

 

Nope, other way around. RSL hosts NER.