Son Puro Pendejadas!!! Playoff edition!

"Up with hope! Down with Dope!---Black Bush

 

best headline:
'Hoeness tight lipped over Donovan (PA SportsTicker)'

 

"aint nuthin goin on but da rent !!!!"



You Know You're Ghetto If...
This is a long list... just read em till you get bored. lol


• You put sugar on your frosted flakes

• Your kids were in your wedding

• You call your mama by her first name

• You iron dirty clothes.


• You're nineteen and you just met your father.

• You have a wife and kids but still live at home with your momma.

• You chew ice.

• You record over previously recorded cassette tapes.

• Your mother did your hair in the kitchen.

• You don't pay your rent until you get the three-day notice.

• You put on panty-hose instead of shaving your legs.

• You buy clothes for a party and return them to the store the next day.

• You only go to church on Easter and Mother's Day or to meet a man (or woman).

• Your first name begins with TA', La', or Sha'.

• Your bank is a check-cashing place.

• You think putting batteries in the refrigerator recharges them.

• You take bubble baths with diswashing liquid, shampoo, or liquid detergent.

• You return gifts for money.

• You save cooking grease.

• The only dates marked on the calendar are the 1st and the 15th.

• Your mama whipped you and your friends.

• You keep food stamps in a money clip.

• You wear tube socks with dress shoes.

• You add water to shampoo to stretch it.

• You put your kids to sleep with NyQuil or Dimetapp.

• You use your welfare check as collateral.

• You can read your haircut.

• You bought your rims before you bought your car.


• You think jury duty is a good way to make money.


• You have a drawer in your kitchen just for condiments from fast-food restaurants.

• You use a clothes hanger as a TV antenna.

• Turning up the heat means turning on a burner on the stove.

• The batteries in your remote control are held with a piece of tape.

• Something smells spoiled in the refrigerator, and all you do is change the box of Arm & Hammer Baking soda.

• Your furniture is covered in plastic.


• The back of your toilet seat is always off.

• You use vaseline for shoe polish.


• The heels on your feet look like you've been kicking flour.


• You wear your shower cap everywhere but in the shower.

• You've never been to the dentist.

• You clean your ears with a bobby pin, key, or ink pen cap.

• You have trouble spelling your children's names and you named them

• You got angry when the government stopped the cheese program

• You drive around on a donut, months after the flat happened.

• The announcements at your church is longer than the sermon.

• There are more guest at the reception than at the wedding.



• You tell all your friends you are mixed with some other nationality, but the naps tell a different story.

• You mixed up some kool-aid and realized you don't have sugar. Then you put the pitcher in the frige until you buy some.

• If you ever use 'nem to describe a group of people (ex. Leroy and nem, or Jethro and nem)

• You ever left a social gathering with a plate.


you think tupac faked his death.

you get into a fistfight while you're pregnant.

you got married in prison.

you use your hands to put your food on your fork.

you're still proud of your jheri curl.

you wear house shoes to the grocery store.

you go to school just to sell drugs.

you pick your shaving bumps in public.


you're getting paid, but your bills ain't.

your moms washes paper plates.


you drink a soda with breakfast.

you throw a pool party at the fire hydrant.


you use your oven to dry wet clothes.


the Santa Claus at your mall doesn't have the red and white outfits.


you go trick-or-treating without a costume.

you pee in the shower.

you play tackle football on concrete.

you brush your teeth with a washcloth.

your man can wear his hair in a ponytail but you can't.

you buy cigarettes individually,not by the pack.

use food stamps at the chinese resteraunt

you do your grocery shopping at the liquor store.

you jump into a fight that doesn't involve you

you can hear the heater but you can't feel it.


you wrap Christmas presents in newspaper.

you walk your pit bull without a leash.

if you buy bootleg cds and movies



if your moms sang a song while whupping u

you can outrun a police dog.

you found your dog.

your boxers are longer than your shorts.

it was okay to have D's on your report card.

you have more than one social security number.


if your mama puts the lords name in everything


there's a metal detector at your kid's day care.


you brought your Christmas tree the day after Christmas.


101. There are more people in the wedding than there are in the audience.

102. Everybody's exes were invited, because they're all remarried to somebody else in the family.

103. Your wedding dress is also a maternity dress.

104. Your wedding march is actually a march.

105. You sing ghetto wedding songs: "Always And Forever," "I'll Always Love You," "You And I," "Wind Beneath My Wings," "Here And Now," "Ribbon In The Sky," "For Always."

106. The deceased and his widow are wearing matching outfits.

107. Someone tries to climb in the coffin.

108. More than one person thinks that he is the current spouse of the deceased.

109. The majority of the flowers at the burial site are plastic, and/or taken back the following day.

110. The service lasts for half a day.

111. Polaroid shots are being taken of the deceased.

113. Most of the mourners comment that the deceased didn't look that good when he was alive.

114. You ever said that the deceased has "slipped away."

115. You go out to a nightclub, but you stay outside in front of the club.

116. You and your friends get your picture taken in front of the wicker fan chair.

 

Shit is crazy foo...