So Last What Movie Watch You Did? Vol. XXI

The Sorcerer's Apprentice



It's a movie called The Sorcerer's Apprentice starring Nicolas Cage, so we knew going in that it would be crappy. Only the presence of Bellucci and Molina in the cast and the fact that we liked the first "National Treasure" movie - also directed by Jon Turteltaub as silly as it was - had us hoping for craptastic. Instead it was mostly just plain crap.

It's nice to see that Jay Baruchel squeezed another movie out of his lovable loser shtick but he's really going to have to expand his range just a tiny bit if he wants to last longer in Hollywood. Toby Kebbell's take on a 1980s British version of David Blaine was one of the few noteworthy things in the entire movie. Otherwise it is utterly forgettable. I sorta suspect that Nic Cage took this role as away to tell directors that he will star in really anything if the pay is good enough.

 

You didn't even need the 4th - 7th words in that sentence.

 

I too consider myself something of a bad movie connoisseur, and I don't think you're giving Showgirls its due.

It is, essentially, All About Eve told from Eve's point-of-view. Nomi doesn't leave Vegas exactly as she came in; she leaves Vegas having conquered Vegas and then rejected it as beneath her, ready to move on to even greater conquests -- namely, Hollywood.

And I don't think the movie can be appreciated without the boobies. They are an intrinsic part of the movie's overall badness.

 

Leaving Las Vegas, Raising Arizona, Wild at Heart. I'd also throw in The Bad Lieutenant and The Rock even.

Though it's hard to argue against the fact that he's been in nearly nothing but crap during the entire noughties.

 

I'm still mad that Verhoeven wasted all of the credit he got from Basic Instinct on that movie. He should have demanded to make that Jesus movie he's been talking about for three decades. It could have been the Passion of Christ avant la lettre, only a version that would have made every conservative Christian's head explode!

 

I agree, the movies I listed were the ones I liked him in! Unless you knew that's what I meant and I just misinterpreted your post.

 

I just don't see her as conquering anything. I understand that movies have to compact a life story, but in doing so there were just too many coincidences. Nomi wasn't ambitiously driving events - she was being driven by events around her. Even her shove seemed more spur-of-the-moment than premeditated. The times she took a moral stand were all counterproductive to the goal of being head dancer, but, fortunately for her, they ended up not counting against her. The essence of the '80's bad movie was that the misfit had some hidden talent they worked on, and through demonstration of that hard work they eventually win. I'm not convinced that Nomi did that.

I was going to make a comment about her lack of acting training to go along with her lack of dance training, but I realize that acting isn't necessary to succeed in Hollywood. You see, I just saw this movie called Showgirls.

This is probably true. I also found out the R version had a bunch of scenes cut out. I admit I may not have the complete view of Nomi's motivations and experiences.

 

http://boneitis.ytmnd.com/

 

The Fountain

I just revisited this and I have to say my impressions are completely different. It immediately slots into my top 5 of the past decade with ease and I feel will be better understood and appreciated with time. This film shows that, strip away the prodigious talent of Aronofsky, that he's a romantic at heart. No rom-com bullshit here, just pure romanticism told from a purely cinematic point of view. I adore this film.

 

I went back to the genre I love, and I was rewarded with a glory as great as the host of heaven descending to Earth on golden clouds singing "Eye of the Tiger". It was:


Cyclone (1987)

Can you believe that there exist Americans who are old enough to vote yet have not lived in a world where the Japanese were the bad guys in movies? What has become of our culture? And speaking of culture, this is how movies should be made. The fit, tough, motorcycling expert Heather Thomas is easily accepted as such because the beginning of the movie shows her getting fit, being tough, and fixing and riding a motorcycle. That's called creating a character, Verhoeven. Take some lessons from Fred Olen Ray, a true directing genius and American. And professional wrestler.

Anyway, the story. Fit, tough, motorcycling expert Heather Thomas has a boyfriend who is building a military motorcycle. He decides petrol isn't quite good enough so he designs a power generator that extracts elemental hydrogen from the universe to create unlimited, in every sense of the word, power. Talk about engineering above and beyond the call of duty. Anyway, world's greatest stuntman Dar Robinson kills him and tries to kill Heather to get the power supply to sell to the Japanese. Government incompetence and corruption, double double cross, motorcycle chases, people shooting guns as if they never saw a gun before, and subtly sexual torture lead up to the monumental finale where laser beams shooting out of the bike create gigantic fireballs causing 13 ton 70's Oldsmobiles to twist in the air to the sounds of a synthesizer power ballad. It was a ballet from man's oldest, deepest, most epic legends brought to glorious life. There were tears in my eyes.

I only wish that every human on Earth could have, at least once in their lives, a feeling of awe as great as the one provided by this movie. It is enough to make one continue living.

 

I had high expectations for this as it was my favorite book of the series. However, it wasnt as good as the previous two and I cant really pintpoint why.

I wouldnt recommend paying the extra for 3D. It didnt really add much to the movie as the 3D elements were added after filiming and there are a select few scenes that it had any impact.

 

As a teenager of the 80's, you had me at Heather Thomas.

 

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2l3a7lsEgFM"]YouTube - Tv Theme Fall Guy (Full Version)[/ame]

 

At least that line makes more sense that "Are we human, or are we dancer."

 

Ridley Scott's Robin Hood.

I don't know why this movie was so widely panned. It's no masterpiece (I think Kingdom of Heaven, the director's cut, is much better), but I thought it was extremely well made and entertaining enough. Excellent production values, and I didn't find the story too convoluted, which was a common complaint I heard. I can see why some people read it as a Tea Party fable, but honestly I didn't think Scott and Helgeland were trying to be Republican, just republican.

I do agree, though, that a more entertaining movie would have been what comes next-- that is, when Robin Hood is actually Robin Hood.

 

Inkheart

I give them credit for attempting a faithful adaptation. There is some real affection for the book in this movie.

But faithful adaptations don't always make good movies.

 

black swan

Aranofsky IS a prodigy. will take a while to see what is memorable but it was hugely enjoyable. you couldnt tell from the audience who insisted this was a comedy and laughed inappropriately throughout.

 

RED



Pretty fun little movie, actually. A terrific cast and a well-paced screenplay made the two hours just fly by. Mary-Louise Parker was adorable. Malkovich was the stand-out amongst the retired operatives.

 

four christmases



favreau was funny, and it took me a minute to realize that vince's mother's boyfriend was sue... pretty funny having the three swingers playing the same board game. also, reece witherspoon isn't as hot as she used to be.

 

The Losers



It knew what it was supposed to be so it didn't take itself too seriously. It made me curious about the comics it's based on so the writers and director must have done something right. Zoe Saldana is hot. Jeffrey Dean Morgan seems to have fun in comic book adaptations. I have a soft spot for Chris Evans, I even liked him in those crappy Fantastic Four movies.

 

Starship Troopers: Would you like to know more?

 

Yes. It's been awhile.