Second guessing myself and failing to make important decisions

We all have times where we are just not focused for some reason. That focus can last for more than one game. Believe in yourself and you will be fine.
As for the handling stuff, you should look at the distance from where the ball came from and the hand, the position, whether that player had an opportunity to really do something different with the hand, and what was that player trying to do with the hand. A ball coming from 2 yards away that was kicked towards a player may not give enough time to do anymore than allowing the ball to strike the hand. However, the ball coming from, let's say, 10 yards should give enough time for a player to do something else with the hand. Players have arms and hands. They can't chop them off before a game so taht the ball will never strike one. Sometimes the field is choppy and the ball jumps up. The new artificial turf is known to cause some extra bounce to the ball. Some handling infringements are very obvious. The ones taht officials have trouble with, as well as, players, coaches, spectators and announcers are the ones that usually give that player no option to do anything else with the hand or arm.
Sometimes there are so man screaming at you "that was a hand ball Ref" that it is easy to react to the action the next time to avoid the confrontations. It kind of like when in baseball the field players yell "swing batter" when the pitch is thrown. As a Ref, when we are not confident about our own judgement, it is easy to blow the whistle because the players are yelling at you that it was a "hand ball."
Be confident, if it isn't handling in your opinion, don't make the call and don't give a long reason as to why you judged it so. That only shows that your confidence is low and unsure about the call yourself. All that is needed is " that is my decision" or "in my opinion it was not handling." Don't describe what you think you saw. It always gets you into trouble.

 

maybe you're just feeling a little burnt out as the season comes to a close, so i'd strongly suggest not making any decisions now. at a minimum, wait until the next season is upon you and see you you're feeling then, and even better if you're still not feeling like it when next season comes around would be to do a game or two anyway to see if anything is different for you.

as for the handling, a lot depends on the age and skill level of the players you're dealing with, in my opinion, so i don't know that you can generalize too much. when you start refereeing, the tendency is to blow the whistle anytime the ball touches the hand/arm. as you progress, you begin to make the tougher decisions as to whether it is deliberate, which means some will be called and others won't. for me, if there is ball/hand-arm contact, i'm processing how far the ball traveled since it was last played/touched, how fast the ball was traveling, if the ball came off the ground did it take any kind of strange hop, and where the players' arm/hand is placed. beyond that, i really think it's just a feel for it; and i'll add that i have concluded from my conversations with and observations of other refs that my "test" may be a little more lenient than some. while i suppose one could argue that gaining an advantage from the handling may be some indication that it was deliberate, i don't go there myself, and i don't draw any big distinction between in the area and out. i expect more from older/talented players, and hold them more responsible for how they position their arms if they're away from their body, but still have occasions in games when their is contact, and when players stop, and where i don't blow the whistle. bottom line, if you're getting grief on this issue from parents/players, you're probably correctly allowing play to continue for nondeliberate handling and it is they, not you, who need an adjustment.

there has been a number of posts about inside the area calls in some other recent threads, and many feel don't change things at all while others believe a little more is required since the pk is so significant. i lean toward the former, but recognize everyone has to come up with their own internal standard. the main thing is that you're consistent.

i thought the comment about feeding off of negative energy was a little odd, as that's not part of what i bring to the game. i like to think i'm not afraid to make the tough call, and i've certainly had my games where i've heard complaints from both sides (perhaps those are the games when i've most been on "my" game), but for me it's a combination of enjoying the exercise and truly believing that my being there is a benefit to the kids. when you read other posts about refs quitting - when you see games handled by refs who don't leave the center circle or don't otherwise "get" it - when you realize that, unfortunately, there isn't going to be a game without a ref - i find it pretty easy to get myself out there as often as i can and like to think for all of the grumbling that i might hear that it could have been a lot worse if i hadn't found this time.

it may just be a confidence thing if you're stepping up in age/skill level and/or may be you're happier doing different games than you're doing now. there's always benefit in stretching yourself, but if you're not comfortable, that could be adding to how you're feeling. in any event, whatever you decide, check back in.

 

If you never called handling the whole game and the ball touched a player's hand/arm 20 times, you probably would get 15-18 of the decisions correct. Good advice already posted by others, but I would add simply that if you are in doubt as to whether the player deliberately handled the ball, do not blow the whistle.

There are so many negatives associated with being a referee that shouldn't exist but do. You need to make sure that you are still enjoying doing what you are doing, in spite of the negative things such as poor behavior from players/coaches/fans/etc.

 

Campton--

Hang in there. We all have bad days, and we all sometimes make outright mistakes, much less questionable judgement calls. I don't think there's a ref who doesn't review every game and replay certain calls in their head. That shows you care about getting it right, which is a vital quality to being a good ref. As you take on higher level matches, the play gets faster, and the reffing gets tougher--when to adjust how tightly you call things, keeping up with rapid play and sometimes intentional deception by players, sometimes harsh and unfair criticism from the sidelines and from the players, and progressively tougher judgement calls. But the game needs good refs who can handle those situations.

Try not to engage the "negative energy" from the sidelines--ignore it as much as possible. You aren't their opponent--you're keeping the match as fair, safe, and flowing as possible. Your best games will be when no one notices you're out there. Resist engaging with complainers, until it affects play or is a very clear violation.

On handling, calls in the area, etc., it pretty much comes down to experience and judgement. If there's a particular class of calls where you feel shaky, rehearse them in your mind, try and be clear about principles for your decisions so when they happen in rapid play, you'll be ready, watch games on TV or in person and think about calls you would or wouldn't make, and talk with more experienced refs.

I had a match this weekend where I waved off several potential handling offenses, and had players and the sidelines howling at each one. But most of them were trivial, and one looked like handling, but wasn't, but hardly anyone could see that except me. (Player held his arms up over his head, but the ball hit him high on the chest, and bounced around without touching his arms. No handling, but to virtually everyone on the field and on the sidelines, it looked like it.) I know I got the call right, and was making the right call in service of the match. They won't always like you, but that's not the main reason you're out there.

 

Campton, as I recall you're young. Perhaps the "can't feed off the negative energy" thing is a matter of maturing. You have gotten to a point where you don't have to prove yourself as much, so the negative comments don't mean as much. That's a good thing!

Handling has been addressed well by other posts. Regarding fouls inside the PA, you shouldn't be looking at the "hardness" of the fouls as much as the effect of the fouls. A player doesn't have to mutilate his opponent to disadvantage him. Sometimes even a stupid little ticky-tack foul in the PA will cause a player to stumble, to miss his shot, or to lose control of the ball. That's just as much of a disadvantage as if the player had been wiped out with a career-ending injury; it just doesn't have as severe a consequence.

Sometimes the level of dissent you hear is reflective of the level of games you are being assigned. The u-littles' parents usually admit that they don't understand much about the Laws. As they get older, the parents might feel that they have absorbed a great deal of soccer knowledge just by sitting there watching week in and week out, as if by osmosis, so now they have earned the right to complain. And then the kid gets picked for a select team, where the records count for (at least in the parents' minds) prestige, trophies, advancement, scholarships, and for the coach, continued employment. Only when they finally realize that it's still just a game, and everyone should be there to have fun, does the noise from the sidelines decrease.

 

Great paragraph. Not only do I feel that this approach can guide the ref to calling PKs in situations where the contact is fairly minor, but I also feel and hope it can guide the ref NOT to call PKs where the contact may be fairly significant but the EFFECT on play is very minimal. e.g. player gets clipped as the ball is rolling over the end line, player is not gonna get there in time, etc -- no reason to call the PK.

And when, exactly do they realize that?! Seriously, I'm still looking for it. I have done games this year from U9 to college, and the fans are clueless and dissenting across the board.

 

Another theory in the "hang in there" category: you're at a crucial period of improvement as a ref. As I recall, you're young, you really want to learn, which means you do actually process and review what you're learning on an ongoing basis (I deduce this from your enthusiastic particpation here).

Well, reffing is just like playing and just like anything else in life. It's not a neat, clean rise through the charts. I once had a coach explain to my team during a down period that improvement is charted more like a series of plateaus, sometimes they aren't even plateaus, but more like hills and slight valleys before a bigger hill. In other words, at certain point in your development, when you're making the next step, you'll actually decline in performance as you implement all the new skills and techniques you're learning.

For you, that means as you're gaining new knowlege and trying to put it into place, you could perhaps be getting some of it wrong, but at the very least will feel apprehensive because it's all new.

If so, don't sweat it, it's temporary, and you just need to make sure your next hill (i.e., your next level of improvement) is higher when you get there.

 

Campton, you are correct to question yourself. It is how we fine tune our decision making tools. Even if no one questions your call, ask yourself what made the decision this time. Where would you draw the line between a call and non-call? Just don't spend more than a few seconds on it and don't listen to the sidelines. This will make you a more confident and more accurate referee and THAT will stop the calls from the sideline.

When you are not confident, it is visible and that will draw more questions. If something is said that makes you change your mind, so be it but question yourself first.

You are on the right road. Just don't stop for every pothole.

 

"... I know its not my interpretation of the laws ..."

If you are grounded in the LOTG and APPLY them as written,
then you should not have any 'intellectual' problem w/ your refereeing.

If we based our decision making on (1) feelings (2) other's opinions (3) some other relative issues then you and the rest of the world should have feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty.

If you know what you are doing is correct then continue doing it.
dlb
.

 

Been there where you are, Campton. I refereed my first match when I was thirteen and the two adult coaches almost got into a fight as I was trying to hold my first captain's meeting for the coin flip. When I was 18 I was refereeing men's over-35 matches. EVERYBODY told me that EVERYTHING I did was wrong. You will work through this if you want to. Part of it I think is your desire to be correct ALL the time (which we all are, right?). That is, of course, impossible. But we have to be anyway.

Some of your self-doubt or declining confidence in your calls is probably self-imposed by your own high expectations of yourself. This is good. After tough games I'll go through a de-brief in my mind on my way home about what I did well and what I did wrong or could improve on next time.

What is you have to deal with that is somewhat unfair or a considerable challenge is that the players and coaches see that a young referee is working their match and they will try to intimidate him or her to try to gain some sort of advantage. They will object to or complain about LOTS of calls...even the straight-forward ones that you KNOW you got right. You can overcome this only with experience...but you already have lots of that. Remember when they complain even over obvious calls...that'll give you a clue that they're just trying to lean on you.

From what I know about you from reading your posts, you know the game pretty well. You're a player, right. Not when you're reffing, of course, but the experience you have from playing is something you can draw from as you're officiating a match. You know what a foul is. You know when a player handles the ball as opposed to having the ball bounce off his arm. Your first reaction to your first impression of a play will generally be right. Believe in yourself that you know the game. Just because some guy you've never seen before says you blew a call doesn't mean that you did.

As for the unsporting behavior you speak of...I see it too. It sucks. It's not only on the soccer field, though. Ever watch an NBA basketball game? I don't anymore because they make me want to puke but that's the standard of behavior that we are dealing with now. You can manage it somewhat on YOUR field when you're the referee by being professional, courteous and authoritative. If you hear something you really don't like, pop a card on that bastard. Anything you don't like can be booked as Unsporting Behavior...and a second time is Persisting in Misconduct and your problem is solved. Stand up against the petty unsporting crap and tell everybody that you will not tolerate it on YOUR field. I certainly don't on MY field.

It may sound trite but there's right and wrong on the field...to be safe and fair we have to stand on the side of right. My favorite unsporting target is the parent who is berating their own child. I'll go after them with a joyful vengeance.

There are times during some matches when I'd rather be anywhere but in the middle of a field with a whistle in my hand, but for me the good times far outweigh those bad experiences. If you stick with it you might find this is true for you, too.

 

I think this is great advice. Look for some different leagues or clubs to whom you can offer your services. Most of the matches I work are adult leagues and they grate on my nerves about the sportsmanship (lack thereof) thing too. I've walked to my car to get my water at halftime and occasionally thought (not seriously) about just driving off.

To help my assignor I accepted a couple of U10 6v6 matches that he needed to get covered. Although they may not be as prestigious or glamorous as an assignment to the U19 matches...they're FUN! The kids are great and they want to learn and there is NONE of that gamesmanship garbage because nobody's taught them how to cheat yet.

So maybe just a change of scenery is something that could help. Those U10 games certainly helped recharge my batteries and refresh my outlook when I was hitting a rough spot and feeling worn out and beaten down about a month ago.

 

This is such great advice. Some years ago I started doing this for just the same reason; got tired of all the nonsense. Decided that I would mix in some rec-play matches - U05 to U13 - and now work three times a week in that rec-play league. Some goofy parents, but rec-parents seem to willing to listen and learn more than the teams made up of all the prima donas.

 

Wow, Campton, you must have been on the sidelines for one of my BU12 games this past weekend. I've gone through the same self-doubt.

As far as fouls in the PA vs elsewhere -- where the foul occurs matters not to me. The LOTG don't say anything about a different standard for fouls in the PA. Yeah, it's unfortunate that something a bit north of trifling can get the defending team into a boatload of trouble, but, hey, we didn't write the Laws, did we? We're just applying them. I've whistled for PKs when the foul was well off the ball (generally pushing or holding), & have never gotten a serious squawk about it.

My second-guessing moment came when I probably should have whistled for a foul & thrown a yellow for a defender who pushed off an attacker to catch a header in the PA. I didn't have a clear view of it, but my AR did, & he didn't signal anything, even after I looked at him with a quizzical face. Sideline goes apesheet. Hey, it's ITOOTR, & I didn't see it clearly...

One thing I have been concentrating on is actively not hearing anything from the sideline. (Noted exceptions: ad hominem attacks on me or an oppsing player, or a coach encouraging his team to commit misconduct.) This came to me in an odd way, when my natural contrariness kept me gun-shy when a sideline was screaming for a whistle. ("Can't do what they want -- they're not calling the game, I am. I'll show them...") Bad attitude to have. I suppose refs kick themselves more for catering to the sideline on calls than denying them, but nevertheless, just noting that there's a squawk & not hearing the content is sufficient for me.

We have our ups & downs, good & bad days, & who knows why. What you had for breakfast, how well your wagers last weekend came in, whether or not your steak last night was done to your exact specifications -- who knows? Just accept that it happens, learn from your errors without beating yourself up & remember always, you're contributing more to the game than 99% of the people involved in it.

Be well,
Sandcrab

 

This truly can be a very helpful "skill". I was recently having a candid discussion with a coach I know after I had done a game involving his team. He commented that he had been surprised that I hadn't called a PK early in the second half - the defender, he said, a come right through the back of his forward without even trying to play the ball. I looked at him with a puzzled look, honestly having no recollection of the play he described, or even a play I remembered that might have been that play, as I tried to go over the early minutes of the second half. He then tried to jog my memory, saying that I had to remember it because he had been yelling at me at the top of his lungs, and that he had only stopped yelling at me when he went to restrain the player's dad, who he said was going crazy about the non-call. Much to his amazement, I told him that didn't help me recall the play, adding that I actually felt a little bad that they had wasted so much energy getting so worked up as I hadn't heard a single word they had said. (Thankfully he restrained himself from a joke about me being deaf as well as blind....)

Seriously, even when I do hear them, I have found over time that it can be just as, if not more, effective to act like I don't. Occasionally, I'll still give a signal to acknowledge that I heard but that I'd appreciate it if they quiet down, and sometimes you actually have to have a word with a coach. But, it truly is easiest just to learn to tune them out.

Of course, there is significant value in absorbing and processing feedback that you get (and I've met the arrogant referee who foolhly disregards any comments from coaches, players, and parents), but it's important to keep in mind where the comments are coming from when you're deciding what to do with them. One other thought if it's a confidence issue that's being driven by dissent from potentially "biased" coaches and parents is that it might be worthwhile to ask another ref to watch a game and give you an informal assessment.

 

Great point, Blech. I mentioned in another thread that I always ask my ARs at the half & the end of the match how they think I've performed. My best advice commonly comes from refs who are also coaches.

Of course, I never ask for their feedback when they're not wearing a bright shirt & knee socks...

SM

 

I feel for you as I have had two extremely contested and emotionally charged matches in a 72 hour period. Both involved disputed calls late in the match with players surrounding me and generally carrying on like a bunch of animals. In my mind the calls were 100 percent correct, but since they helped decide the game in favor of the other team, there was a difference of opinion. Take charge an deal with the trouble makers. Try not to let them get you down.

 

You're under no obligation to explain your calls, especially during a game. At the very least, it invites controversy...

Sandcrab

 

Well sometimes. Other times, it extinguishes controversy. By that I mean, if I am accosted during a game I ignore it, or wave it off, or if it crazy, go over and say "thats enough coach." One trick for me, is then after this has happened... maybe later in the game, if the coach is nearby, I'll ceremonially restart the game, walk over to the coach and give a quick explanation. This gets them to realize I see what they see, but I may see it differently, and they appreciate that I will try to tell them what is going on, and recognize that it was a call he would be yelling about if I hadn't warned him... Works for me,

I am sure others have had problems with this, and it has backfired, but overall worked well....


ANR

 

ANR,

I don't disagree with you, but my point is about obligation. There are times when it's well worth it to explain a call. But an explanation isn't required.

Best,
Sandcrab