Not to thread-jack a thread I started that has produced some interesting discussion, but ... really? I'm second-guessing things I've said on the sideline as a coach (which is probably a good thing). When I've got the team huddled together, I may tell them that a ref simply isn't calling fouls, and they need to deal with it and be careful. Or I may tell someone I know he was fouled (or that a goal was offside) just to reassure that player that I know it wasn't his mistake. I generally try to keep such talk out of public earshot, but I'm sure I've slipped up on occasion. Meanwhile, I can vividly recall pro games in which I hear much, much worse by way of dissent. I even heard a high school baseball coach on the field next to my practice field yelling, "That's ********ing BULLSHIT!" at an umpire. The umpire did absolutely nothing. I actually ran over to the crowd behind his team's dugout and yelled at the team's parents to tell their coach I could hear them over on the soccer field, and that wasn't acceptable. Then I emailed the school's athletic director when I got home. So the question is this -- what's acceptable? How are we supposed to figure out our own sideline behavior if one standard is OK with outright abuse and another standard is immediate ejection for suggesting the game hasn't been called fairly?
The funny thing here -- there's a pervasive belief that a lot of refs are letting far MORE go uncalled in the women's game because, on a subconscious level, they don't want to seem patronizing. I've even known a few women's teams that revel in it. They're dirtier than just about any men's team you'll find.
Really a tougher question than it should be, but it just is. The answer just might be found in your sig.
I think the fact that AR2 also raised his flag indicated how public it was. He screamed it twice, BTW. Please don't think this was a private sideline discussion that only I heard (AR1). It was a 1st or 2nd division select youth travel match, maybe U16, at a tournament under the auspices of Capital Area Soccer Referees Association (CASRA) in the Maryland/Virginia/D.C. area. These are paid coaches in a very established district. The tournament coordinator didn't even blink at it. The team mom who was listed as the assistant referee on the roster was brought over to sit on the bench while the players ran the show. She was really nervous.
Yes, you have that authority, but what are you going to write up and how does it elevate to a dismissal? Is the coach using foul and abusive language? Is the coach engaging in inappropriate behavior? What was your role in the discussion? I'm not saying that this can't elevate to a dismissal, but I can also see many scenarios where a dismissal is not warranted. There is no cut and dried - this is a sendoff/dismissal to this. Referees should think through these things so that they have a sense as to how to react and how they respond.
@Baka_Shinpan makes a good point here: It is worth a few minutes of your time before your next match to think through how you might respond to these scenarios - player, coach, spectator. Here's a hope I take my own advice before my next match tomorrow evening.
How? This is after the match in a one on one conversation. It is not public. And what if the coach actually has a fair point?
All you need is number two. Coaches must behave in a responsible manner. Simple and subjective as that is, that is the standard. Accusation is cheating, racism etc are not responsible and must be dealt with.
Yes, they must be dealt with, but we have many tools available to deal with such accusations. In the example provided, it was a conversation after the game. Presumably it was between the coach and the official and was not a public dialogue. Can it rise to dismissal? Yes. Does it always rise to dismissal? No and referees have many different ways to diffuse the situation and handle things. As a referee, the simple mention of racism is enough to cause an emotional response from you. That's why it is important to think these things through ahead of time so that you know how to respond to these things in a calm, cool and rational manner.
Oh, you're in MY area! Yeah, travel coaches here are crazy. I actually filled in as a coach on my son's team earlier this year when an argument between the coach and the ref escalated quickly. (In fairness to the coach, the ref didn't handle it well, either.)
What you allow you condone. If you cannot understand that it is not acceptable for a coach to accuse a match official of racism based on some cicumstance then I cannot help you.
What do you do if the referee IS racist? I've seen it before. Tall African-American kid gets clobbered repeatedly by white and Hispanic players. He wins the ball, and the ref blows the whistle and lectures him. Repeat. It's not an accusation I would make lightly. But this was painfully obvious. The sideline was full of people biting their tongues.
If you see it, try to record it on video and submit to the league. If you can not record it. Submit a written statement stating the facts. Skip your opinions and feelings, stick strictly to the facts.
This is a completely different scenario than the one Jayhonk posted that started this conversation. There are referee feedback channels. Confronting a ref who you believe has bias is not going to get any positive result. Write your own report, tape the game if you can.
This is a common occurrence and can be a source of irritation and frustration on the field from both coaches, players and referees. My biggest concern as a referee is whether someone - a player or a coach - is saying something public as a means of dissent or simply trying to inartfully tell their player that they are ok and need to focus. My advice to coaches is to just keep your comments to your players positive. "Keep focused Johnny - don't worry about the call" works better than telling him or her that they were fouled or the referee missed the call. That can come across as being passive-aggressive and can be considered a form of dissent. First, don't confuse the professional game with behavior expectations at the youth level. There are well known unwritten rules for what is allowed and what isn't allowed and each referee has their own subjective level of dealing with players and coaches dissent. For the youth level, it all comes down to what is regarded as appropriate and inappropriate behavior. We gauge whether comments are personal, provocative and public. One also needs to gauge the relative skill and soccer knowledge level of the coach or player we are dealing with. My advice to coaches is keep comments directed towards referees short and respectful and don't harp on things - especially little things. Tone can be is important. Sarcasm should be avoided. The better / more experienced referees fully understand that there is a value to coaches making an occasional comment to blow of steam or to "take one" one for their players. That's all part of the game. At the end of the day, keep things respectful.
As others have stated, the avenue for dealing with this is not at the field. And it certainly won’t have a remote chance of standing up to any scrutiny without overwhelming evidence. Even in the example you gave it doesn’t mean racism. It might mean this Referee has dealt with the player in the past and didn’t like them. Race may have nothing to do with it. It’s still an ethical violation in any case, just one of a different flavor.
You keep focusing on the fact that the incident wasn’t public. You know that is just one of the factors to consider right? And certainly not the most important. Whether the player whispers that I’m a f***ing idiot or screams it really isn’t the relevant detail is it?
And if you can't understand that just as not every utterance of a cuss word is a send off, not every emotional comment is a send off either, then I cannot help you.
Yes, it is one of the factors. And not every whispered put down is going to warrant a send off either. We have lots of tools. Use them.
Where are you getting the idea that anyone is suggesting every cuss word or utterance of dissent warrants a dismissal? We are focused on accusations of cheating and racism. Things which are inherently personal and provocative. Those are what people are saying cannot be tolerated. Not your run of the mill coach complaining about your calls.
You are the one who said a whispered, muttered "you f-ing idiot" is no different from whether someone screams it. So some 16 year old mutters it and only you hear him. Do you stop and send him off immediately or do you turn towards him and say excuse me, but did you just say what I think you said and then manage the player and the situation? You can take the easy way out and just send him off or you can manage the player and the game through that. Was it personal? Yes, but was it public and provocative? No. It's the same with any other accusation - especially those made out of emotion and in a non public manner. We have multiple tools to deal with it, manage it and address it, all of which show that we are not accepting or tolerating the behavior.
Again, you’re putting more weight on the public vs private aspect of the words rather than personal or provocative. It’s the substance of the words spoken that I have a problem with. Calling me a f***ing idiot, accusing me of cheating or racism are always going to earn a send off from me. As it should you or any other Referee.