How many parents on this forum spend any time coaching, or just playing soccer with their children? Do you leave all to club coaches or do use it as a way to spend some quality time with your children? For those that do some additional coaching, do you give additional coaching from the sidelines on match day?
1) I dont coach but spend time with both kids U11 and U8 playing soccer. We try to get to the HS Turf Fields when the weather is nice. They love running around and the goals are usually up. Nothing structured just play. 2) Hell no i don't say anything from the sidelines other than "great job" if it warrants it.
I used to coach Travel but now I am just DOC at a Rec Club. I coach u8/u10 and sometimes u14. I also run a free Open Play soccer during summers for 7th grade to college students. I play during the summer as well still - no time in spring and/or fall. My younest (13) also coaches u8 and u10.
With the kids, some fun, some training. Did some coaching this year. Minimal coaching from sidelines. Some reminders to individuals to get them to think about their positioning, or encouragement cheering.
I coached my youngest when he was 6-8 or so in rec soccer, still coach him at 14 in low-key futsal tournaments a time or two a year, and continue to play 1v1 or driveway soccer tennis and that sort of thing with him (an increasingly humbling experience for me). I love the game and still play in a league for the really, really old. But when I play with him I only offer what I hope is pretty subtle coaching -- a little praise here and there, an occasional observation on something he's doing. And I never coach from the sidelines -- most kids don't seem to hear it unless you really bark at them and pull their attention out of the game (I may or may not have contributed to a goal being scored against an indoor team I coached years ago by trying to get a player's attention), and even if they do hear it many resent it. My wife enlightened me on this with a tale or two about her experience as a player with her dad pacing the sidelines offering a monologue of "helpful" instructions.
I used to be an awful parent/coach. Screaming from the sidelines - not so much negative things but just loud encouragement with occasional coaching I stopped doing that and now you can barely hear me. One thing I still do is an occasional one word coaching tip that my daughter and I have already discussed prior. In our house, we do weekly videos and pro game watching. Post game analysis with what you did right/wrong etc. Things to work on. We spend one day every two weeks or so on free playing together outside for fun and some instructional spacing stuff. We constantly talk scenarios, what to do, how to think, try this, be creative. Basically, I supplement the coach's work which I think you should be doing if your daughter is dedicated. The issue today is kids can spend all day on the Ipad/iphone. It's a different world so you have to structure soccer if they are dedicated. People think they will work on their own, which a select few will. But to maximize potential for your kids, a parent has to offer structure as well and encouragement. Those naturals like a Pulisic can now multiply because some kids need a push
Father of a U15 Boy. I never played so I just try to be a good sounding board. I do know what it takes to be an elite athlete so what I can do is help him off season with conditioning and structuring skill specific drills. At some point you have to become your own coach... You have to know your potential, your limits, and your mind-body. If I can help him to structure for himself and support a positive work ethic, that should go a long way. I've never coached from sideline but in my past I've been a very "active" spectator. Weird to me that most parents are lumps for 90 minutes. I haven't always been good with post practice/game feedback but I've learned a lot and we share great open communication. Now we usually discuss just a few key things pre game, and I always emphasize for him to warm up for what his body needs plus several hundred touches. Post game I now always wait for him to start the conversation and I only talk positives. Several hours later we discuss areas for improvement. Self esteem and self confidence is so powerful for teens, but double edged. I was always a robot. As much as I can be disappointed with coaches at times I make sure that my approach is always to compliment that part. It's exciting and gratifying when you see your teen kids start to come of age!
My son is a u13 goalkeeper for a state level team here in AZ. I absolutely coach him through out games and it pisses me off that I have to, but his coach doesn't provide meaningful keeper specific instruction. Pre-game I help him warm up and we discuss individual goals for him to work on during the game. During the game my "coaching" is really helping him identify tactical situations, reminders on correct positioning and communicating with his defenders. Post-game I let him carry the conversation. Usually the next day I'll provide some feedback. And always I try and boost his confidence.
My son is U11. I kick balls at him every chance we get. Usually 3 or 4 days a week. High, low, hard, soft, lefty, righty, close up or far away, make him run for them. I'm not a soccer coach by trade, so I don't try and teach him X's and O's. I can improve his touch though. Better touch mean more time to think. He is a good player and student of the game. Much better than I was at his age. He doesn't need me to complicate things for him. Before games I may give him a couple of things to think about, but try to be positive. In the heat of the game you play by instinct. He has a coach and doesn't need another voice yelling from the opposite sideline.
I would suggest never coaching from the sideline. Players need to learn how to play the game without sideline help. Might seem like it helps at the time but in the long run it might be the worst thing you could do. Best coach any of my kids had did not allow parents at practice and had a “no sideline coaching” rule.
I’ll follow up my own post with two other items: As they left the car or hotel room I passed on two vital pieces of tactical information: “Play well and have fun”. That’s it. I also followed the Cal Ripken rule of “No PGA”. No Post Game Analysis...if you want your player to associate playing soccer with getting a lecture about their game then spend the ride home critiquing their game. They will learn to hate the ride, the game and possibly you. Lest you think that is a great strategy for rec league players only, the above strategies worked for three kids through the highest levels in more than one sport and they all compete(d) at the ncaa level.
I think the no-sideline-coaching rule is best for parents, but I do get the frustration of lack of keeper training and coaching. My son isn't a keeper but I played a lot of keeper as a kid, and his club offers little keeper-specific training -- there is a separate practice, but it means adding a fourth day of practice to go to it, and I'm honestly not even sure how good it is. In regular practices, keepers practice strictly as field players (and in drills that require a keeper, it tends to be a free for all with almost anyone but the two to three kids who actually play in goal in games playing back there). Most kids in the club don't go to the extra practice (and none of the PT keepers on his last two teams), and it shows. At U15, he's yet to play on a team with a keeper who has any understanding of distribution, positioning, how to direct your defenders, defending set pieces, ... Not to go too far on this tangent, but I get the impression our club coaches think this is the best way to make sure your keepers can play with their feet, but goal-keeping is a part of soccer. Drives me, to say the least, a little nuts.
I'm really happy with our club's goal keeping curriculum. He has two training sessions a week in a small group environment and then he trains with his team twice as well. He has improved immensely this season and I'm grateful for that. The problem is the team coaches treat goalkeepers as an afterthought, to the point that they don't ever practice set pieces or help the keepers get warmed up pre-game. In game instruction is almost non existent. My son wants to continue to learn so my coaching is really limited to helping him read the game and organizing his defenders. It's disappointing in some aspects but it's brought us closer together which is really cool.
Our last spring with our former club - probably the last 3 games, I was coaching my kid from the sidelines. For 2 seasons I kept my mouth shut as she made the same mistakes and never was corrected. She was treated as filler so the moment I knew we were leaving I said F- it! If the lazy ass coach won't do his job, I will - and I dare him to confront me on it. My kid already decided SHE would not play for him again so she gladly listened to me and even laughed while on the field.
The last time I tried to coach my son for the sideline, he told me to “shut the [blank] up”…..to this day, there is still some debate as to what word he used…
I've never done that prior or after and if we were not leaving I would have kept shut. If my kid messes up I may queue up the Benny Hill music - but only me and another dad hear it.
Nick Saban on something he learned from Bill Belichick: Sometimes players are kind of dependent on that reinforcement all the time in practice,” Saban said during Alabama’s spring practices, via Charlie Potter of BamaOnline and 247Sports. “But in the game there’s no coach out there. I used to coach like that when I was and assistant. We’d have a scrimmage at the Cleveland Browns and [Bill] Belichick would chew my butt out man. He’d say, ‘let the players play.’ “I was like, ‘Wow, I’ve never had my butt chewed out for coaching, teaching.’ But, I have to say the same thing sometimes to our coaches now. Cause there’s a time where you’ve just got to let the players play. Cause in the game, they’ve got to know what to do and they got to know how to do it. They can’t depend on someone else to make a call for them. They can’t depend on somebody else to recognize things for them. So we actually do stuff in practice now when I make the coaches get off the field and [have the players] make the calls, let the players play.” Those two guys know a little about coaching.
I tend to agree with that. I used to help coach a young kids' team (u7, u8) with a friend who was a great practice coach but, in games, was almost never silent from the sidelines. Watching him coach his two kids later, at u11, 12, ..., you'd regularly see them look to the sideline waiting for advice or instructions. More complicated for me is how to offer and suggest advice in a broader sense, outside games. I don't coach my son anymore, but there were two or three things I saw watching play in a tournament last weekend that he really needs to be working on and could see come fairly quick returns on if he did. Getting him to listen to that advice and, in particular, act on it is a tougher proposition.
My advice, since all dads face this and we did it to our dads, ask them what went well and what they would change if they could. 66% will be things you would have said anyway, some you will be impressed they know something you haven’t seen and there should be a good conversation that allows you to make a point or two that won’t seem like “advice from dad”. But it comes from him primarily. That has worked for us. May work for others.
I can sympathize with this as the dad of a young GK. I really like the club and the coaches, but I wonder if we're getting everything that we should in terms of instruction. I had to tell my son to ask his coaches to go over how to set a wall and defend a free kick after watching them go 3 consecutive games where they gave up goals off of set pieces. I would try to tell my son where to position himself and the wall but the other kids had no idea what to do and he couldn't get them lined up. Also feel you on the pregame warm up. I've never really made an issue out of it because rarely have we had multiple coaches work the same game, but I do think it would be great to have before every game.
I coach both my kids U5 and u7. We also play at home pretty much everyday. Or we go to the fields on the weekends and play as well.
https://nays.org/sklive/for-parents/failure-why-it-s-actually-good-for-your-young-athlete/ This could be posted on many threads but it is a good article and the site (hadn’t seen it before) could be helpful.