Official Crew Forum "I Hate Wayne Rooney" Thread

Discussion in 'Columbus Crew SC' started by Bill Archer, Oct 31, 2018.

  1. Bill Archer

    Bill Archer BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 19, 2002
    Washington, NC
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    #1 Bill Archer, Oct 31, 2018
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2018
    So on Thursday we're going to DC to face the legendary, world renowned, almost mythical beast which is Wayne F*ckface Rooney, who has washed up onto our pathetic soccer shores after having been a washout back where he belongs.

    It is entirely appropriate that this whiny, disloyal, money-grubbing scouser turned up in MLS playing for the DC Scum, singlehandedly saving Ben 'Crybaby' Olsen's job after what seems like endless decades of utter incompetence as coach of a feckless bunch of carefully hand-picked street bums - excuse me, I mean "roofing challenged citizens" - in the global capital of lowlife grifters and thieves who would peddle their dear old Granny's ass down at the Greyhound station for a sixpack of Pabst.

    Rooney, who was a modestly effective striker when coached by God and backed up by arguably the single greatest sideline-to-sideline midfield in world club soccer history, rewarded the love and loyalty of the fans who shelled out hard earned money to shower him with adoration by repeatedly threatening to kick them all in the sack and run off to play for City or Chelski or anyone else who waved a pile of cash under his pug-like nose unless they backed a dump truck full of money up to his garage and filled it to the rafters with loot.

    Fortunately for him, the singular lack of assorted World Cup memorabilia in there just meant more room for more money to pay for his pathetic Hair Club for Men hair plug transplants since he prefers looking like a cheap late night TV ad to shaving his head like real soccer men like Michael Bradley and Bob Bradley and lots of other Bradleys too. Also Grant Wahl.

    So when Rooney's act finally ran dry in England - his "return to his roots" was about going back to play at Everton, not going in for another hair transplant, which he may not have fully understood seeing as how he has the IQ of a bag of walnuts - he went looking for some other team that was willing to shower him with ludicrous amounts of money while playing in front of arrogant, clueless, mouthbreathing imbeciles similar to ManU fans in a city where he can still get a decent curry takeaway, serendipity steered him to DC.

    So now we're supposed to ooh and ahhh and faint dead away every time this chubby little money grubbing phony touches foot to ball. The interwebz are now filling up with wall-to-wall videos of one prodigious Wayne Rooney exploit after another. Here's Rooney scoring a goal. Here's Rooney pulling on his socks. Here's Rooney taking a piss. Marvel at the wonderfulness.

    If there's one thing that Don Garber is praying to his god - Alan Rothenberg - for every night before he drifts off to sleep to dream about swimming naked in Scrooge McDuck size vaults of money with Anthony "Two Chins" Precourt, it's a long and glorious DC run in the playoffs so the league PR gerbils can crank out more soft core porn featuring Wayne Rooney to ignorant, Aqua Velva soaked, soccer-hating sportswriters across the fruited plain.

    Miguel Almiron, Diego Valeri, Maxi Moralez, who the hell cares? Can't look up from another slobbering Baker Mayfield piece to figure out who guys with funny names are. But Wayne Rooney - didn't he play for that big team over in, like Britain or England or someplace?

    So we're all now required to genuflect to Wayne F*cking Rooney, mercenary paycheck chaser who is here to teach us Colonials the true meaning of jerkdom.

    All hail!!!
     
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  2. Ch(Elsey)

    Ch(Elsey) Member+

    Columbus Crew
    United States
    May 2, 2003
    Green, Ohio
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
     
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  3. KHT_Crew

    KHT_Crew Member+

    Mar 29, 2003
    Queen City, OH
    Hey, he's in the top two of Rooney family members to join MLS. I just can't decide if he's first or second...
     
  4. ZipSix

    ZipSix BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 20, 2000
    Boston, MA
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Wayne Rooney > Stevie G, Pirlo, Lampard combined
     
  5. 110toyourleft

    110toyourleft Member+

    Jan 27, 2007
    Columbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    FYP
     
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  6. YITBOS

    YITBOS Member

    Jul 2, 2001
    1.3 hours from CCS
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    What in the hell are you smoking? I've never been close to Michael Bradley, but I imagine he reeks of Aqua-Velva. I dare you to say anything good about Michael Bradley beyond he has a freshly waxed dome.
     
  7. Hamburgler03

    Hamburgler03 BigSoccer Supporter

    Aug 31, 2000
    Chicago, IL
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Ladies and gentlemen. Bill Archer!
     
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  8. Ch(Elsey)

    Ch(Elsey) Member+

    Columbus Crew
    United States
    May 2, 2003
    Green, Ohio
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Hats off to him.
     
  9. KHT_Crew

    KHT_Crew Member+

    Mar 29, 2003
    Queen City, OH
    Aqua Velva. Please...
    Michael Bradley, Soccer Philosopher, is definitely...
    [​IMG]
     
  10. hangthadj

    hangthadj Member+

    A.S. Roma
    Mar 27, 2001
    Beacon, NY
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Excellent piece of hate by Bill Archer.

    You may have thought to yourself that there was a time that Wayne Rooney earned or deserved your respect. You need to check that bullshit at the door. That time never existed, and no such respect was deserved.

    But, hang he scored so many goals at Manchester United you say? ******** that. What has he done in the AUDI MLS CUP PLAYOFFS. He hasn't done shit. He hasn't stepped foot on this stage. It's our job to make sure he doesn't do shit.

    But hang, some of the DC Supporters groups supported Save The Crew. We are so happy they have a star in Wayne Rooney. ******** them. They can't even keep a rhythym. Half the supporters groups boycotted games this season because they weren't given preferred seating in the new stadium. Meanwhile Crew fans were spending their time coming a stadium left to neglect, with an owner doing everything he could take the team away.

    Spare me the stories of the DC soccer Renaissance. Spare me the human interest stories about Wayne Rooney coming over here and playing 16 home games to propel his team to the AUDI MLS CUP PLAYOFFS. Spare me tales of respect.

    It's been 19 years since we've had the opportunity to knock these clowns out of the playoffs. Many that will be in that stadium tomorrow don't remember it. They will be there to marvel at and respect Wayne Rooney. That's their business. As for me, I hope their lasting memory is a patented clumsy two footed clumsy Josh Williams tackle leaving their hero battered and bruised, and seeing Wayne walk off the field at the end of the game, head down, like the loser that he is.
     
  11. Draghignazzo

    Draghignazzo Member+

    Feb 24, 2007
    Columbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
  12. Draghignazzo

    Draghignazzo Member+

    Feb 24, 2007
    Columbus
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
  13. KHT_Crew

    KHT_Crew Member+

    Mar 29, 2003
    Queen City, OH
    Two-footed challenge from Josh Williams and you think Wayne walks off the field at the end of the game. Totally see an epic blowup from Wayne as this player had the gall to do such a thing to him and he sees a Red Card for his behaviors. Maybe Josh gets one too but I'll take a Pawn for Queen trade any day and twice on this Thursday.
     
  14. jack sticker

    jack sticker Member+

    Rangers
    United States
    Jun 5, 2018

    I would gladly jump on a hand grenade for @Bill Archer and it would be the honor of my life.
     
  15. jack sticker

    jack sticker Member+

    Rangers
    United States
    Jun 5, 2018
    That is a low bar.
     
  16. jack sticker

    jack sticker Member+

    Rangers
    United States
    Jun 5, 2018
    Rumor has it he is a Celtic fan.
     
  17. Big J 0526

    Big J 0526 Member

    Columbus Crew SC
    United States
    Sep 8, 2010
    Columbus, Ohio
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    quoting yourself. interesting play.

    anyway, ******** all of them.
     
  18. Hamburgler03

    Hamburgler03 BigSoccer Supporter

    Aug 31, 2000
    Chicago, IL
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
  19. pookspur

    pookspur Moderator
    Staff Member

    Nov 3, 2001
    Indiana
    Club:
    Tottenham Hotspur FC
    to be fair, I'm a bit baffled by #6, myself.
     
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  20. Ch(Elsey)

    Ch(Elsey) Member+

    Columbus Crew
    United States
    May 2, 2003
    Green, Ohio
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Both posts remind us of some damning points. DC FO said a big "******** you, we do not need you" to a slice of their hardcore fans this season. How to fix that cluster********? Well they went on to throw money at this toothless thug.

    Jim Smith would be proud.
     
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  21. KCbus

    KCbus Moderator
    Staff Member

    United States
    Nov 26, 2000
    Reynoldsburg, OH
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I am just surprised that there are apparently videos of this guy taking a piss.
     
  22. CrewDuff

    CrewDuff Member

    Jul 26, 2006
    Enon
    I've posted only twice on this board (that I can recall) in about the last five years, but this post made me log in just to rep it. Well done, Mr. Archer.
     
  23. Flyer Fan

    Flyer Fan Member+

    Apr 18, 1999
    Columbus, OH
    I think we all need to simply accept what happened tonight: @Bill Archer set up shop inside Wayne Rooney's head with this thread.
     
  24. Bill Archer

    Bill Archer BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 19, 2002
    Washington, NC
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Wait. Was there someone named Rooney in that game?
     
  25. Ch(Elsey)

    Ch(Elsey) Member+

    Columbus Crew
    United States
    May 2, 2003
    Green, Ohio
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Where is @chr1st and one of his animated gifs?!?!? Of that PK! Your boy Steffen!
     
    chr1st repped this.

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