My Personal Saga on the Politics Board...

Apology accepted.

Since I was never a Hootie and the Blowfish fan, I guess I'd have to choose Xerxes over Darius too.

 

But did you know Hootie and the Blowish are derivative of Iranian Folk Music? Which, incidentally, is the best in the world?

 

Why wouldn't they be derivative? The band members are all Iranian, after all.

The worst folk music in the world is klezmer, but only because it is an offensive perversion of Persian folk music, which was the greatest and most important in the world.

 

This has to be the greatest thread ever.

It went from a bitching about the left thread, to a red-blue pissing match to a discussion of Joe Wilson to a load of appologies and now to a discussion of how all art, culture, and beauty is a derivation of Iranian Monitor.

 

I'm actually IM's sock puppet, as is Nicephoras. As are you. You can admit it.

Kidding of course. IM was actually invented by Zionists and Likudniks, who are themselves actually Persians.

 

I believe eventually this will turn into a South Park parody. Only instead of "Marklar" we'll be saying "Persian".

 

It was simply done.

In fact, you could say it was Simply Ken.

Next up - estimates how many Iranians live in the Los Angeles metropolitan area. I'll start. There are millions and millions of them.

 

I think that only Bill's entitled to wear that on this thread though.

 

I've heard various urban legends/rumors of this, but what exactly are you referring to?

 

Ever been on Soccer America Graffiti, aka SAG?

It was a pretty popular board in the dark days prior to the emergence of BigSoccer. Anyway, IM used to post there as "Simply Ken." He was a total butt head from around the time that the draw was announced for France '98, with Iran in the USA's group. When Iran beat the US over there, he was even more of an unsufferable twat than he is today as his new IM persona.

Over on SAG, he and Dan Loney got into it once about how many Iranians/Persians lived in the greater LA Metro area. IIRC, Dan put the numbers at a few tens of thousands, but SK/IM insisted that his estimates were way off and that there were millions of Iranians living in and around LA.

 

That was one of the best running smack-downs ever done by Loney.

 

Indeed. I wonder if anyone ever archived those posts.

 

So basically, they were both off.

 

Naturally all discussions lead to the greatness of Iran, because discussing things was first invented by the Persians. I believe the earliest discussion were about their fine rugs (which of course are the best in the world).

I think what you mean there is Persian Jews (who coincidentally, were actually the first Jews, which is where Abraham got the idea from).

Could this be a coincidence? I think not. Kenny from SouthPark is obviously an Iranian woman, which is why (s)he never shows her face. Kenny is constantly killed by evil infidels, which represents both the West's misunderstanding and also mistreatment of lovable harmless Iranians.

Yes of course, those are the modern day Iranian Aztecs. The Aztecs were originally from Iran as I'm sure you know. The Aztecs believe their ancestors came from the east. They did not know it was really the Middle East because Persians had not yet invented the word "middle." Relations are somewhat strained between Iranians and their Aztec cousins however, because apparently the Aztec Iranians have an affinity for naming their offspring "Jesus."

 

An A for effort, a dismal D for originality. Keep at it.

 

Actually, Loney did research and quoted the population of Iranians in the LA area that were determined by the US Census. I don't recall the exact amount because I really didn't care all that much. In fact, I still don't care.

 

Which is a completely worthless statistic, considering the fact that there's no [Iranian/Persian] ethnicity box to mark on the US Census worksheet. Therefore, the vast majority of Iranians end up either "white" or "asian", and very few actually put in the extra effort to identify themselves by writing in their proper ethnicity. Actual estimates run somewhere between 500k and 700k in the LA area alone.

 

You are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off. There are about 1.5 million Iranians in the the United States 700k of whom live in California.

http://www.niacouncil.org/faq2.asp#2

http://american-iranian.org/home.php?mains=3&subs=24

http://www.farsinet.com/pwo/diaspora.html

 

See my post above. Aww, screw it, here it is again.

Of course, since the Persians invented ways to recover lost posts from old internet sites, I'm sure you'll be able to find the discussion Loney had with Simply Ken back in '98.

 

Dan was right.

 

Yeah, he was. Which was the best part of the smack down.

So when is Ken going to show up in this thread?

 

If his contention was that the population of Iranians in the Los Angeles area is in the tens of thousands, he was in the wrong.

 

Islam101 - 180,000 Iranian Muslims in the whole of the USA. Perhaps, there are those couple of hundred thousand Jewish Iranians that aren't included.

 

Wow, that was real clever - I am just stunned at your originality. Just don't give up your day job to pursue comedy full time.