Ok, we have various ages, various sexes (!?) and various viewpoints. I need advice: K's mom, J is on spring break and took all week off from work without pay just to hang out. She has not seen her child since last Friday except for about 30 minutes last nite (She even missed her birthday ). She told Kally she was coming to get her today for a little while. She has not shown up yet and I have not heard from her. Do I leave her alone and let her screw up yet again or do I call her and be a bitchy aunt/mom?
Not having met anyone, and being totally objective, she sounds like she needs to be dropkicked. You can't disappoint your child like that. She needs to be reminded that eventhough she may be young, she's still a parent.
Part of me just wants to keep K here cuz I know she is well cared for and loved. And if I "make" J do something she doesn't want to do, I fear for K's mental wellbeing. I don't believe J would ever harm her physically but I know she is impatient and neglectful. K has developed a nervous blinking that occurs when J is supposed to be coming to get her or when J is around.
In her head, since she is working and going to school to make a better life for her and K in the future, her priorities ARE straight. She doesn't seem to hear me when I tell her she needs to spend time with K.
I say.....don't bitch at her......but definitely let her know she needs to step up. She has a little girl that she needs to spend some time with her mom. She'd be sh!t out of luck if you weren't there. You can't force her to love and nurture but you can encourage her to put in some time with her daughter and hope that they don't grow apart. Whoa....a whole post without naughty talk......i'm maturing!
Emily.....it is a wonderful thing you are doing with K. Parenting someone elses kid, because they cannot, is far beyond the call of duty. Not only are you providing loving care....you are trying to keep K's mother/daughter relationship intact as well. I admire you for that. Someday J will realize what you've done for her....K already knows.