By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
  1. Dan Loney

    Dan Loney BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 10, 2000
    Cincilluminati
    Club:
    Los Angeles Sol
    Country:
    Philippines

    MLS - Your Mother Should Know

    By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
    So the MLS Players Union, unlike Philadelphia Union, has made a strong start to 2017.

    Hey, remember solidarity payments? Remember training compensation payments? Remember when we were supposed to do things FIFA did because FIFA is any kind of guide or role model? Sure you do!

    When we last left this story, youth academies had decided to protest the USSF garnishing their hard-earned solidarity and training payments by…suing the players in question, and the MLS Players Union. At the end of March, the lawsuit was dismissed on account of its extreme stupidity, and MLS Players Union Executive Director Bob Foose took a well-earned victory lap:

    “We have said consistently that training compensation and solidarity payments are bad for players, and would treat players differently than employees in any other industry, including sports. For example, it’s absurd to think that a business school could demand a fee from a company that hired one of its students. Yet, that’s the kind of payments the youth clubs seek.

    No player should have the market for his services adversely affected by these payments. This is not to say that players and the Players Union don’t believe in and support youth development. We do, but it should not be funded through a tax on randomly selected professional players’ contracts. We have said all along that we do not understand why the youth clubs sued players and their union, and we certainly do not believe that the suit was filed in the appropriate court. We’re very satisfied that the Court has agreed and brought this case to a close by dismissing it in its entirety.”

    “This,” “I told you so” and “Boom-shaka-laka” are not helpful contributions I can make to the discussion. So consider those contributions made unhelpfully. This won’t be the last time American soccer will have to deal with, for want of a better term, “ideas” with no basis behind them aside from “That’s how it’s done elsewhere.” So it’s always a relief when this sort of thing is shot down without mercy.

    “We want to encourage youth development,” for some reason, is a series of magic syllables that bring critical thinking to a standstill. It doesn’t hold water in the present pay-to-play system, and it won’t hold water as long as amateur soccer is dominated by the NCAA. But it isn’t as if solidarity payments and training compensation date back to antiquity. These were invented after the Bosman ruling, when clubs no longer had control over player movements. Clubs no longer could claim transfer fees for out-of-contract players, and sure, that hit their bottom line. But it was revenue clubs should rightfully never have had in the first place.

    You could make at least a lousy case that clubs who put time, cash and effort into training youth players shouldn’t be left high and dry when these ungrateful little punks bolt at the first opportunity for better clubs offering better deals. “How can we recoup our investment, if players are treated like human beings with free will?” goes the complaint, although never in those words.

    So quit, is my response. International football is a business that generates over ONE MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR. Someone’s going to think it’s worthwhile to train new players. If it’s too difficult for you, no one’s forcing you to stay. Get out of the unrewarding, unfair field of youth development. Try bird-watching. Try tantric massage. Write sitcoms, like David Byrne suggested in “Found a Job” off the “More Songs About Buildings and Food” album. Go back and listen to it, Tina Weymouth’s bass line is AMAZING.

    You may be surprised to hear that the MLS Players Union doesn’t just dunk on youth academies. They also act as a union representing Major League Soccer players. One of those players is a Colorado Rapid you may have heard of named Tim Howard.

    If you believe the Batman/Dark Knight saying that one either dies a hero or lives long enough to become the villain, then Tim Howard’s watch is at roughly two hours past Heel O’Clock. Howard lost the respect of most of the world outside the monophone US national team fanbase about six years ago. Howard also had to retract an accusation of career sabotage towards Brad Friedel in his 2014 autobiography. And, of course, in the 2014 World Cup, Howard put up one of the legendary performances in the history of the game. So you’re gonna get people with opinions about him.

    Or, what might have happened is that a fan yapped at a player and, for once, the player yapped back. I might be over-complicating this.

    Anyhow, Tim got himself oaked for three games after informing a fan that he and the fan’s mother shared an act of intimacy. This was the Players Union response.

    If you believe the purpose of the union is to defend its members from arbitrary punishment, then this statement failed. Howard clearly transgressed, and his suspension stands.

    The fan almost certainly transgressed the Code of Conduct referred to. (It's here, if you're wondering.) I just wonder why that’s brought up. It’s interesting that the union would go out of their way to make trouble for teams and fans here, or at least one team and one fan.

    It might be simply to prove that Howard was provoked. But no one who has spent any amount of time watching live sports would have doubted that. I’m not sure where the Players Union is going with its tu quoque. The statement seems to, but does not, call for increased security. The statement seems to, but does not, call for a ban on obscene and abusive language from fans. The statement calls for a clear message, but leaves the nature of that message up to the league.

    I’m almost certainly reading too much into the statement, but the statement begs questions like German shepherds beg for those yummy bacon things whose name escapes me. Is verbal abuse of individual players truly a league-wide issue? Does MLSPU intend to collectively bargain fan sanctions the next time around? Is increased enforcement against fan misbehavior important enough to sacrifice tangible benefits in negotiations? Is the Players Union suggesting a labor stoppage if fans make the players’ workplace too hostile?

    Or is there nothing behind this statement behind disingenuous scolding?

    I’m fine with the fan being suspended for three games, too. Or even for the season. Or even forever. I ain’t his dad, I don’t care what happens to him. But this seems like this should be offsetting penalties, to borrow an NFL term.

    Extenuating factors go both ways. Look, let’s say I sideswipe a guy. And instead of calling his insurance company, he comes at me with a tire iron. “At least I don’t have to pay for this guy’s paint job,” I would think before losing consciousness.

    There is one aspect of this incident that has not been addressed. As of this writing, there has been no investigation of whether Howard actually had made love to that fan’s mother. I think this is a shame. I believe the Zenger defense should apply to fan abuse.
     
?

What would Tim Howard yell at you?

  1. "Nice hair, hair-haver"

    9 vote(s)
    27.3%
  2. "No, YOU peaked with the Metrostars"

    17 vote(s)
    51.5%
  3. "If you don't shut up, I just might vote!"

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  4. "I'm trapped in a world I never made!" (Howard the Duck reference. Too much of a reach? Probably.)

    2 vote(s)
    6.1%

Comments

Discussion in 'Articles' started by Dan Loney, Apr 19, 2017.

  • Tags:
    1. The Franchise

      The Franchise Member+

      Nov 13, 2014
      Bakersfield, CA
      Club:
      Real Salt Lake
      Country:
      United States

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      My hair is fantastic. He would have reason to be jealous.
       
    2. Honore de Ballsac

      Oct 28, 2005
      France.

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      I wouldn't do things the way those people do.
       
    3. Atomic Fury

      Atomic Fury BigSoccer Supporter

      Apr 30, 2007
      Pennsylvania
      Club:
      Manchester United FC
      Country:
      United States

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      He wouldn't say anything to me. I'd be in the nosebleeds.
       
    4. Martininho

      Martininho Member+

      Feb 13, 2007
      Chicago
      Club:
      --other--
      Country:
      United States
      #5 Martininho, Apr 20, 2017
      Last edited: Apr 20, 2017

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      A fellow I know (a good man, long-time ref) looped me in when this lawsuit was filed, suggesting that I consider lending my support to one of the, shall we say, local, poverty-stricken plaintiff organizations...and further, that I do so pro bono (because pay-to-play has proven such a dismal failure for these...clubs).

      He couldn't understand why I started chuckling...then I realized he was serious (Jah love 'im, and truly coming from a good place), and nearly dropped me pint in a fit of gut-wrenching laughter before I explained, in my best Terry Thomas accent "Oh no, I DON'T think we'll be doing THAT today!"

      Dangerous stuff, this frivolous litigation. Could cause a man to die of thirst...theoretically. :)
       
    5. Bill Archer

      Bill Archer BigSoccer Supporter

      Mar 19, 2002
      Washington, NC
      Club:
      Columbus Crew
      Country:
      United States

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      Dan, you ignorant slut.

      Having actually attended Philadelphia Union games, I can attest to the fact that not only is it likely that Howard laid a bit of pipe with that guy's mother, but it's not outside the realm of possibility that most of his fellows in the rapidly shrinking "supporters section" have had a go with the old girl as well.

      Not a lot of Mensa candidates in that bunch, but they come by it naturally: the people who run the thing are as stupid as a bag of hammers as well.

      I'd be happy to tell them this up close but, alas, the Union forum is the only place on BS that I'm forbidden to go. Completely blocked.

      This happened because back in their inaugural year I was perusing their environs and came across a thread started by a
      "fan" who was trying to enlist people to buy tickets in the rows adjacent to the visitors section so that they could get together and administer "a serious beat down" on people who were foolish enough to buy tickets and cheer for the other side. He made it clear that he was not speaking metaphorically.

      I wrote a brief response telling him that the biggest risk MLS still faced was a bunch of imbeciles trying to start fights in the stands.

      This outrageous opinion garnered me a forum ban which I proudly enjoy to this day.

      So if anyone should happen to run across this "fan", please inform him that the best Howard could have possibly gotten was my sloppy seconds.

      Thanks.
       
    6. JasonMa

      JasonMa Member+

      Mar 20, 2000
      Arvada, CO
      Club:
      Colorado Rapids
      Country:
      United States

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      @Bill Archer , Howard was going after KC fans, not Philly fans.
       
    7. Honore de Ballsac

      Oct 28, 2005
      France.

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      The comic stylings of Bill Archer And JasonMa, everybody. Give it up.
       
    8. Honore de Ballsac

      Oct 28, 2005
      France.

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      By the way, that was one long first-gen SNL reference.
      upload_2017-4-20_9-14-39.jpeg
       
      Beau Dure repped this.
    9. Bill Archer

      Bill Archer BigSoccer Supporter

      Mar 19, 2002
      Washington, NC
      Club:
      Columbus Crew
      Country:
      United States

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      Same thing.
       
      JasonMa and Honore de Ballsac repped this.
    10. Honore de Ballsac

      Oct 28, 2005
      France.

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      And anyway, what actually happened? I thought TiHo called the fan a ************************? Did he call himself a ************************? Funny how you can call somebody else a ************************, OR claim to be one, and both are intended as an insult to the addressee.

      I try that latter one on my small kids, and they just act bewildered.
       
    11. Beau Dure

      Beau Dure Member+

      May 31, 2000
      Vienna, VA

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      Couple of things here:

      1. Paying clubs to cast a wide net for talent isn't the weirdest thing in the world. The top 100 academies in the world won't graduate the top 1,800 players in the world every year because the world is a big place. I could see getting rid of solidarity payments, but the pinko socialist -- er, person concerned with player development -- in me would insist upon some sort of alternative so that Southwest Orange Favela FC can buy a new bag of balls or pay a coach with the next Neymar is yanked away by Barcelona. (Or D.C. United.)

      2. The union letter makes reference to a drunk guy getting within two feet of Howard as he tried to leave the field. That's a little more serious than a bit of heckling no worse than what I did in the pep band of a school known for basketball.

      Hey, if he were in women's soccer, he would've converted it into something else and posted something to social media that would be shared 3,578,786,819 without question.
       
    12. Dan Loney

      Dan Loney BigSoccer Supporter

      Mar 10, 2000
      Cincilluminati
      Club:
      Los Angeles Sol
      Country:
      Philippines

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      This does sound a lot like the "Shut up, Dad, you're drunk" joke.

      I miss out on all the women's soccer gossip.

      Anyway, the video shows Howard lobbing bombs from his goal, not as he was leaving. I'm guessing this was a back and forth that escalated, and - I could easily be wrong about this - the letter reeks of dramatic exaggeration, and I doubt Howard feared for anything except what was left of his dignity.
       
    13. JasonMa

      JasonMa Member+

      Mar 20, 2000
      Arvada, CO
      Club:
      Colorado Rapids
      Country:
      United States

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      Reports are that MLS has a second video from in/near the tunnel where a different fan got face to face with Howard and Howard reached out and grabbed him. That's a bit different than what we saw in the video circulating which I agree is not really worth all of this.
       
      JayRockers! repped this.
    14. Honore de Ballsac

      Oct 28, 2005
      France.

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      Just looked it up. There it is!

      Reminds me of the one where Mary casts the first stone.
       
    15. JayRockers!

      JayRockers! Member+

      Aug 4, 2001

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      I miss the honky-tonks, Dairy Queens and 7-Elevens.

      Thx,

      Jay!
       
    16. Beau Dure

      Beau Dure Member+

      May 31, 2000
      Vienna, VA

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      You got it, you got it ...
       
      JayRockers! repped this.
    17. dredgfan

      dredgfan Member+

      Nov 5, 2004
      Denver or NOLA
      Club:
      Colorado Rapids
      Country:
      United States

      MLS - Your Mother Should Know

      By Dan Loney on Apr 19, 2017 at 11:49 AM
      Howard the Duck all day. Loved that movie as a kid.
       

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