Soccer is all about balance. Wait, no it isn’t. Germany 7 Brazil 1, Australia 31 Solomon Islands 0, Nobby Stiles has more World Cup wins than George Best, George Weah, Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo put together – soccer is literally about anything but balance. Don’t you hate it when writers make these grand, overarching pronouncements that don’t stand up to the slightest scrutiny?

MLS is all about regression to the mean. I had a perfectly good “Why Curt Onalfo Got Fired” post idling at the gate, until the passengers overpowered the crew and forced their way to freedom.

I also had an acceptable “How San Diego Missed This Round of MLS Expansion” warming up in the hangar, but then the mayor of San Diego came out to undo the damage that San Diego State did.

This is pretty fascinating on a political level – the mayor of San Diego is choosing a soccer investment group over San Diego State University. The former could evaporate at the whim of 22 ownership groups outside San Diego, and the latter obviously isn’t going anywhere. Paul Kennedy of Soccer America tells us it may hinge on when the Soccer City plan can make it onto the ballot.

It would be highly amusing if Mayor Faulconer and FS investments bulldoze through all the political capital in California to get San Diego AFC going, only to have Don Garber announce Sacramento and Tampa Bay. I think MLS is wiser to pick expansion sites without significant opposition, and San Diego State is still significant opposition, mayor or no mayor. But MLS has been making goo-goo eyes at San Diego since before Don Garber was the commissioner, and me putting San Diego fifth or sixth on my MLS Expansion Power Rankings ain’t gonna cut no ice anyhow.

Anyone interested in my MLS Expansion Power Rankings? No? Gosh, that’s a shame.

1. Sacramento
2. Tampa Bay
3. San Antonio
4. Cincinnati
5. San Diego
6. Phoenix
7. Nashville
8. Detroit
9. Indianapolis
10. Charlotte
11. Raleigh
12. Las Vegas
13. St. Louis
14. Ottawa
15. Cleveland
16. Buffalo
17. Birmingham
18. Austin
....

5,027. Willoughby
5,028. Ankh-Morpork
5,029. Atlantis
5,030. Bedrock
5,031. Mega-City One
5,032. Brigadoon
5,033. Kashyyk
5,034. Hell
5,035. Miami

I'm not actually saying that Miami is worse than Hell. Never even been there. Hell, that is.

No, basically it turns out the stadium plan the Miami MLS group has put forward that got everybody all excited? Literally no parking. Since last time I checked Miami didn't have any Sim City-style arcologies, I think that's as good as saying the plan is at death's door, knocking loudly.

But that just leaves more MLS expansion fever for everyone else. How excited are people about expansion teams these days? This excited!

There was a beautiful mural painted in Pico-Union in Los Angeles. Or, rather, WAS. Mike Gray at LAG Confidential is all over this story here and here.

Now, we here at BigSoccer can not endorse the cool crime of vandalism. But there's a definite upside to this. You see, I wouldn’t have known they had painted it in the first place, if it hadn’t been improved – sorry, defaced.

No, not sorry – improved.

But Mike’s article makes me wonder. What if both teams are in on it?

Next year the rivalry begins for real – and what better way to augment marketing than cheap publicity? I believe both teams are perfectly capable of using dueling misdemeanors to advance their mutual interests.

Lakers and Clippers fans don’t vandalize each other’s advertising. Same with the Angels and the Dodgers. I can’t imagine Rams and Chargers fans going to the effort to care about the other blue and gold team. And speaking of which, I never even saw USC and UCLA billboards defaced by the other’s partisans, despite ample opportunity, motivation and youthful spirits. So why is the zero-year-old rivalry now ground zero for a remake of …. What was that movie where different gangs in Los Angeles waged a mutually destructive war based on race and class? Oh, that’s right. “Who Framed Roger Rabbit.”

We’ll see how far Phil Anschutz and Mia Hamm plan to take their beef. Let’s hope they don’t go TOO far. As we saw in the first season of Better Call Saul, one way to draw attention to a billboard is to dangle a body from it.